Author Topic: The Wyrm Saga: 2 years already? o_O (By Kai and I)  (Read 51628 times)

VYAzelas

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The Wyrm Saga: 2 years already? o_O (By Kai and I)
« on: July 09, 2008, 10:46:43 PM »
Main Cast and who plays them at heart.

http://www.fftogether.com/forum/index.php?topic=107.0

*NLBLLG Team enter Henne Mines*
Vaan: Hey, Ashe, isn't Tiamat supposed to be here, ready to trounce us, and our crappy equipment/low levels?
Ashe: Vaan, you bring a good point...
Penelo: This CAN'T be good.
Basch: Penny, I see what you mean. Fafnir, Behemoth King, and now Yiazmat are glaring down our necks.
Fran: Did Basch just call Penelo, "Penny"
Balthier: I think he did, Fran.

 BK: Uhh Yiazzy? Behemoth King thinks he shouldn't have choked the *****. Revive her please? o.O
Yiazmat: Wait, I see some people who are ready to face their makers! >:D
BK: What are you doing here Fafnir?
Fafnir: Umm... Steak?
BK: ...

 *Penny's Ally: Balthier - Bacchus's Wine Gambit activates*
Balthier: RAAAAAWR!
*Balthier shoots Yiazmat for: 100 damage*
Y:....


BK: *opens gate* Yes?
Lindwyrm: Is Tiamat hom~
Vaan: LOOK! THE GATES OPEN! RUN!!!

*Vaan and co. haul ass past Lindwyrm*

Yiazmat: TT_TT
Lindwyrm: Okay... Is Tiamat home?
BK: And you are?
Lindwyrm: Cousin. Let me in >.>
BK: Wai~ *gets pushed aside*
Tiamat: X_X
Lindwyrm: OMFG! What the hell happened?
Yiazmat: Oh. Behemoth King felt the need to choke the poor thing >.>
Lindwyrm: !!! *RAWR* >:O

*Epic fight ensues*
 *Vaan is watching behind the corner, and he throws a Holy Mote and Lindwyrm, and runs*
*Fran goes Mist-Berserk, and begins kicking Vaan's ass*
Yiazmat: HAI! WHUT'S THAT NOISE?!
Lindwyrm: WAI U HIT ME WITH HOLY? U KILL MY COUSIN 3:
Yiazmat: I don't eben cast Holy though... ): BK does...
Lindwyrm: U IS A *****
Behemoth King: But I hit you with Ardor, remember?
Lindwyrm: Oh, yeah...
 
 Yiazmat: Hmm... *pokes Tiamat with his epic right foot*
Tiamat:
>_>

<_<

>_<

I'm alive again!

*BK begins casting Ardor*

Tiamat: X_X
Lindwyrm: You killed her again! RAWR!

*BK readies Aeroga*

Lindwyrm: X_X
Yiazmat: I shouldn't have made you a God, Behemoth King >.>

*Fafnir tries to sneak out of the open gate*

BK: Where do you think you're going? Behemoth King hasn't kicked your ass yet!
Fafnir: O_O *runs*\
BK: >:O

 *Yiazzy opens a portal on the ceiling of Tiamat's house*

Yiazmat: One, two, three...
Hell Wyrm: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *THUD* *epic crater*

*A waterfall of Jack Daniels pours out of the portal as it closes*

Yiazmat: You still have that pool filled with Jack Daniels eh?
Hell Wyrm: Yeah I do. *cough* So why did you bring me to this hellhole?!?
Yiazmat: I need you to return Linda home >.>
Hell Wyrm: Who?
Yiazmat: The brown one there.
Hell Wyrm: You mean Lindwyrm? Why the hell would you call him Linda?
Yiazmat: It's funny. Just like the times I call you Helen xD
Hell Wyrm: -_-X

Me: Great. I was gonna go down here, grab a cola, and go home.
Maria: Wait, I'll take care of this:
Aiming Dev-ENERGY BURST! *Quickly depletes all of Yiazmat's MP*
Me: Maria, this isn't Star Ocean 3. You can't MP kill (not kill in Yiazzy's case) something.
Maria: Oh.... We should haul ass back to the Diplo. I'll throw Mr. Kinky Whip in here...
Nel: *Throws Mr. Kinky Whip in the room full of dragons* RUN FOR IT!
 
 

Yiazmat: How can I fix this place up? I know!

*opens another portal on the roof*

Hell Wyrm: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *2 THUDS* *epic craters*
Lindwyrm: X_X
Yiazmat: Shake it off -_-
Hell Wyrm: You know I have to fix Lindwyrm's broken neck and revive him now right? -_-X
Yiazmat: Stop *******. Do you now where Hashmal is?
Hell Wyrm: How the hell am I supposed to know?
Yiazmat: You created them to bother me -_-
Hell Wyrm: Oh. Uhh. *blank stare*
Yiazmat: ...
Hell Wyrm: It seems he belongs to that meat puppet party you were fighting.
Yiazmat: Why did you make them serve the group that defeated them? -_-
Hell Wyrm: Because you wanted me to seal them away! That's why!
Yiazmat: Whatever. *flies through open ceiling portal*
Hell Wyrm: *Bleep*... >.>

*puts Lindwyrm's corpse on top of Tiamat's corpse*

Hehe! >:D

*meanwhile*

Basch: It looks like we escaped. *pant*
Vaan: Why the hell was Yiazmat there? And Behemoth King? And Fafnir? *pant*
Penelo: Never mind why they were there, what the hell is that? O_O


 Nel: Ok, maybe putting Mr. Kinky Whip right there was a bad idea...

*Far away*
Ashe: Is that... A MAN?!
Fran: It appears so...
Balthier: Hey, he's a bishie like Vaan. Complete with feminine face and everything.
Vaan: Hey!

*Back to Nel, me, and Maria*
Me: Hay, lets give them Albel while we're at it. That makes 3 bishies in one room.
Maria: Good idea...
Nel: I hate Albel. Him and his man-bra can burn in the pits of torture. That's also a teaching of Apris.
Me: I thought tha-
Nel: Ok, I lied. There are no pits of torture.

*Throws Albel into the room*
Fran: Hey, is that a woman?
Balthier: Nope, just another bishie...
Penelo: Vaan, people you can relate to!
Vaan: Why does everyone call me a bishie, huh?


Yiazmat: HERE'S YIAZZ~ AHH!
Party + Kinky Whip + Albel: AHH!!
Yiazmat: What are you 3 supposed to be? Male or female? Even I can't tell o.O
Vaan: I'm a guy. Don't know about the other 2 weirdos though >.>
Albel: We aren't weird!
Kinky Whip: Yeah! We are just different. >.>
Balthier: Shut up Vaan. You're a girl.
Vaan: No I'm not >_<
Yiazmat: Shut up all of you! Now which one of you have Hashmal?

*the party points to Vaan while he points to Albel*

Vaan: I hate you guys. -_-

*Yiazmat grabs Vaan and Deathstrikes everyone else*

Vaan: Serves you right >:D
Yiazmat: You want to die?
Vaan: No ._.
Yiazmat: Then lets go >.>
Vaan: What about them?
Yiazmat: I'll have Helen revive them.
Vaan: Helen?
Yiazmat: Ask any another question and I'll kill you -_-
Vaan: =X

 *I trip, and accidentally use an Analeptic*
Me: *Swearing in Vietnamese uncontrollably*
Maria: Huh? What happened?
Me: I tripped, and used an analeptic...
Nel: This, is of course, bad. For them anyway.
Me: To us, too.
Maria + Nel: How?
Me: Just run for the Diplo, *Bleep*it...

*Back in the room, where the party + Albel + Kinky Whip + Tiamat are now alive again*
Tiamat: *In dragon runes* God, I have a massive hangover. Did we swim in Hellie's Jack Daniels Pool again?
Albel: I swear, Kaikuro is dead the next time I run into him...
Kinky Whip: Albel, honey, where was that other bishie hotty?
Balthier: Ok, did someone just refer to Vaan as hot, with his crappy, paint-on Abs?
Penny: I think so.
Basch: That, of course, is very, very, very bad.
Fran: Remind me, I need to kick Vaan for telling us to capture Hashmal.
Ashe: That's a good idea.
Asch: Hey, who are you people.
Ashe: Asch, you're in the wrong game. Go back to the Tales of the Abyss boards, the idiots over there are mistakenly referring to you as me.
Asch: Oh, ****. That's not good. Thanks, Ashe.

Tiamat: God, I have a massive hangover. Did we swim in Hellie's Jack Daniels Pool again?... AHHH! Get it off of me!

*tosses Lindwyrm off of her*

Lindwyrm: X_X
Hell Wyrm: HAHA! xD
Tiamat: I hate you Hellie... OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HOUSE! AND WHAT HAPPENED TO MY COUSIN?
Hell Wyrm: Lindwyrm being dead is Burger King's fault. The three giant craters are Yiazmat's fault for opening a portal on your ceiling and me falling through it. Twice. Once with Lindwyrm. The smell and water on the floor is Jack Daniels >.>
Tiamat: So where's Yiazzy?
Hell Wyrm: Off getting Hashmal to fix it, he should be back soon.
Tiamat: So you are just here rearranging corpses in an incestuous manner? REVIVE LINDWYRM NOW! He's starting to smell bad D:
Hell Wyrm: >.>X

*random drill sounds, sawing, hammering and a neck crack*

Tiamat: O_O
Hell Wyrm: *kicks Lindwyrm* There. Linda is alive now >.>
Lindwyrm: >_< Don't call me Linda!
Hell Wyrm: How about letting it go, seeing as how I brought you back to life.
Lindwyrm: ._. Thanks...
Hell Wyrm: Whatever.

*a portal opens below him and he falls through. A rush of Jack Daniels splashes through the hole*

Tiamat: He needs Alcoholics Anonymous... for idiots. >.>
Hell Wyrm: AA IS FOR QUITTERS!

Asch: Hey, bishie, get the hell out of MY way...
Albel: Make me, you overpompus, snob-bag!
Asch: Why you little...*Runs up to Albel* FANG BLADE!
Albel: *Dodge* Aura Wall! *Places wall of demon spirits under Asch*
Asch: *Air Dodge* Demon Fist!
Albel: *Dodge* Air Slash! Air Slash! Air Slash of Fury!!! *Traps Asch in infinite combo*
Me: *Runs back* Maria, lemme borrow your gun...
Maria: Ok...
*Fires several insanely epic shots at the ceiling behind us*
*Cave in ftw!*
Maria: Why did you do that?
Nel: That way, Albel and Bezelber won't be able to escape.
Me: Can't have Kinky wHip chasing us around, can we?

*MEANWHILE*

Yiazmat: SUMMON HASHMAL, NAO!
Vaan: Never!
Yiazmat: WAI!?
Vaan: I dun have his license ._.
Yiazmat: BUY IT THEN, *****
Vaan: NEBA!!
Yiazmat: WAI!?
Vaan: I lack the LP...
Yiazmat:....
 
*grabs Vaan as he readies Cyclone*

Tiamat: WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
Lindwyrm: HOLY CRA~

*massive air currents fly through the shaft*

Tiamat: >_<... o_o That wasn't so bad. I actually feel better :D

Lindwyrm are you o... *looks at Lindwyrm*

Lindwyrm: X_X
Tiamat: You killed Lindwyrm! You *Bleep*! *cries* ;_;
Yiazmat: Would you stop acting like you are 50? I can revive him but I can't fix your house >.>
Tiamat: But still! >_<
Yiazmat: Alright you hume, you should have enough LP for Hashmal >.>

Vaan: Okay! Just don't kill me!

*Yiazzy tosses Vaan in his mouth and chews on Vaan for a while before recreating him from the bloody pulp*

Vaan: O_O

*presses Triangle*

Vaan: OMG! COOL!

Yiazmat: LV 73 HP:??? MP:999

Vaan: Aww, it doesn't display his HP D:

Equipment ->

Yiazmat

Attack Power: 107
Defense: 36
Magick Resist: 40
Evade: 0
Magick Evade: 0
Strength: 61
Magick Power: 67
Vitality: 99
Speed: 20

Weapon: Yiazzy's Epic Right Foot (Vaan: Where can I get that? It has 107 attack O_O)
Off-Hand: Yiazzy's Epic Left Foot (Vaan: Ehh, I like the right foot more :D)
Helm: Grand Helm (Vaan: OMG! It's so rare! I want it! D:)
Armor: Ninja Gear (Vaan: LOL! NINJA GEAR! xD)
Accessory: Laser Horn (Vaan: What does that do? o.o)

*presses Remove All*

Yiazmat:

Weapon: Mythril Sword
Off-Hand: Escutcheon
Helm: Leather Cap
Armor: Leather Clothing
Accessory: Bangle

Vaan: LOL! Let's see if I can defeat him now. >:D

*exits menu*

Vaan: Okay! I bought Hashma~ OH GOD NO!

*Yiazmat eats Vaan*

*Yiazmat presses triangle and re-equips all of his stuff*

Yiazmat: You are going to have to wait until I digest this putrid crap, Tiamat. >.>
Tiamat: ...

*Party minus Vaan begins to leave*
Penelo: I coulda sworn this place wasn't blocked earlier.
Balthier: Yeah...
Basch: Oh, crap...

Tiamat: How long do you think it will take you to pass him out of your system?
Yiazmat: I don't know. I have been feeling constipated lately from Behemoth King's awesome steaks. D:
Tiamat: Sounds like a personal problem to me. You wouldn't have had to eat the guy if you would call Hell Wyrm instead of dropping him from the ceiling -_-
Yiazmat: But it was funny! D:
Tiamat: No it wasn't! Now I have to wait for some fool to take a dump to get my house fixed! >:O
Yiazmat: Eww. There is a nasty aftertaste from eating this hume. I think he ran around in the sewers. >_<
Tiamat: WOULD YOU HURRY UP AND TAKE A DUMP ALREADY!
Yiazmat: You can't rush these things >.>
Tiamat: In the meantime, will you revive Lindwyrm for the 3rd time today? The Abysteels aren't going to leave him alone. -_-
Yiazmat: I got a better idea ;)

*opens a portal underneath Lindwyrm's corpse*

*THUD*

*SPLASH*

Hell Wyrm: OW! WTF! WHY IS THIS CORPSE IN MY POOL! *Bleep* YOU PALE FOOL!. D:<
Tiamat: HAHA! xD
Yiazmat: Told you it was funny. Brace yourself.
Tiamat: Wait, what are you doing?

*Yiazmat pushes Tiamat through the portal*

Tiamat: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! D:
Hell Wyrm: HOLY CRAP! *moves out of the way*

*SPLASH*

Yiazmat: CANNONBALL! >:D

*A huge spray of Jack Daniels comes out of the portal as it closes*

« Last Edit: February 11, 2010, 05:44:13 AM by VYAzelas »


Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2008, 10:48:23 PM »
Maria: WAI? Also, is Kinky Whip with you?
Fran: Who is Kinky Whip?
Nel: Belzerber. The one with the plasma whip, nail polish, and heavy lisp.
Kinky Whip: *lispy* I do NOT have a heavy lisp!
Ashe: Give us a moment please...

At this moment, we are having technical (and humanity) difficulties. Please tune back at a later time

*Several epic-lispy screams later*

Ashe: Alright, Mr. Kinky Whip is back in Tiamat's layer.
Me: Maria, aim an Aiming Device -> Energy Burst combo at the center of the pile. Everyone, move out to the sides, lest you get burned (and possibly MP-Killed) by a stream of pure plasma. Nel, throw one Flying Guillotine into the Energy Burst as it impacts with the wall.
Maria: Aiming Dev-Energy Burst!!
Nel: FLYING GUILLOTINE
*Boulders evaporate*
Ashe: *Throws Belzerber into the Energy Stream + Flying Guillotine*
Kinky Whip: AHH!
*Energy Burst ends, and Flying Guillotine returns to Nel*
Me: Let's get out of here...

Hell Wyrm: Why are you here? GE TE EF OH of my pool!
Yiazmat: Shut up Helen. *splashes him with an epic wave*
Tiamat: THAT WASN'T FUNNY YIAZMAT! Oh my... where did you get enough Jack Daniels to fill this pool? O_O
Hell Wyrm: I can turn water into Jack Daniels! :D

*sees Lindwyrm's corspe floating in the pool*

HEY! NO DEAD WYRMS IN MY POOL! D:<

Tiamat: REVIVE HIM YOU DRUNK!
Hell Wyrm: >.>

*pokes Lindwyrm. Air bubbles start to flow from his mouth*

Lindwyrm: *glub* O_O AHHHHHHHHH!

*sound is muffled under the surface as he starts thrashing in the pool.*

Hell Wyrm: Stop that! You know how many Watergas and Darkgas I have to cast to refill this pool?
Lindwyrm: Whoa. Is there a party going on? Tiamat, why are we here? *drinks from the pool*
Tiamat: Waiting for the White Idiot here to pass a hume through his digestive system so he can fix my home >.>
Lindwyrm: Oh. *drinks some more from the pool* Hehe!
Fafnir: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *explodes through the door with Behemoth King on his tail*
Behemoth King: COME BACK HERE YOU ******-******! BEHEMOTH KING NEEDS TO CHOKE YOUR ********!
Yiazmat: Stop that you fool!
Tiamat: You aren't going to choke my mate! You had your chance!
Behemoth King: Get out of Behemoth King's way, *****!

*He smacks Tiamat. She lands awkwardly... on her neck*

Tiamat: X_X
Yiazmat: Thats it! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CHOKE A *****! RAWR! >:O

*Yiazmat puts Behemoth King in a headlock*

Behemoth King: Let go of Behemoth King!
Yiazmat: Shh shh shh...

*Yiazmat twists Behemoth King on his back and transfers the hold to his tail*

Behemoth King: What are you doing?!?
Yiazmat: SHH...

*Hell Wyrm pokes Tiamat*

Hell Wyrm: Get up, you need to see this.
Tiamat: OMG! Behemoth King hit me! And killed me! I'm gonna... ._.

*Tiamat sees Yiazmat drop Behemoth King over the edge of the pool and covers his face with his tail*

Behemoth King: ARGH!
Yiazmat: Die.

*Yiazmat's tail starts twisting around Behemoth King's face and...*

*CRACK*

Behemoth King: X_X
Yiazmat: ...
Hell Wyrm: O_O...
Tiamat: O_O...
Fafnir: O_O...
Lindwyrm: O_O *drinks from the pool*
Fafnir: Wa-wasn't he supposed to be immortal?
Hell Wyrm: Ye-yeah...
Yiazmat: *Bleep* you for what you made me do. I told you to stop chasing things and killing them for no reason! That guy you killed in the Feywood had many loved ones who somehow revealed your existence! Now there are people looking for my treasure!
Hell Wyrm: Holy crap...

Fafnir: Alright, let me get this straight. Behemoth King is, I'm sorry, was immortal but now he's dead.
Hell Wyrm: Yep. o_o
Fafnir: How?...
Lindwyrm: Yiazmat killed him, thats how! >.>
Tiamat: I'm scared. O.O
Fafnir: It's okay, honey. I'll protect you.
Tiamat: Are you kidding me? A god is dead by the poolside over there and you think you can protect me?
Yiazmat: FAFNIR!!
Fafnir: Y-yes? ._.
Yiazmat: Get your frigid ass over here.
Fafnir: O-okay...

*Fafnir walks over to Yiazmat slowly*

Hell Wyrm: DEAD DRAGON WALKING! I hope you have the funeral set-up, Tiamat.
Tiamat: *smacks Hell Wyrm upside the head* Shut up. ._.

Fafnir: ._.
Yiazmat: Come over here, I won't hurt you.

*Fafnir takes a small step forward*

Yiazmat: Closer.

*another small step*

*Yiazmat grabs the huge sword from Fafnir's back and pulls it out*

Fafnir: AHHHHHH! AHHHH! THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO COME OUT! AHHHHH!

*starts running sideways on his side while writhing in pain while Yiazmat uses the blade to pry Behemoth King's mouth from his tail*

Yiazmat: Thanks Fafnir. *sticks the sword back into Fafnir.*
Fafnir: AHHHHHH! Why Yiazmat why? ARGH!
Yiazmat: >.>

*Fafnir instantly quiets down, despite the steady stream of blood flowing from his back*

Yiazmat: I need to cool down. *jumps into the pool and swims off to the far side*
Fafnir: ._.

Yiazmat: *Gets out of pool* Helen. Bring back teh BK. He needs to be cooking the steak. I'm getting hungry, and---
Lindwyrm: Wait, I have a question.
Yiazmat: ?
Lindwyrm: If Behemoth King is immortal... then how did you kill him?
Yiazmat: -.-;; Noobs. Immortal =/= Invincible. He just can't die of old age.
Yiazmat: Everyone! Decorate for Chinese New Year. NAO!

Tiamat: Alright, since the entire place is now decorated for Chinese New Year...
Yiazmat: Now we offer our ancestors an offering of food. Of course, here they *looks to where the party was*
....WHO THE HELL LET THEM ESCAPE?
Hell Wyrm: I thought you created everything Yiazzy, and since you're not dead, you can't technically be our ancestor...
Yiazmat:... Shut it, Helen.

Yiazmat: So what kind of offerings do you bring to your ancestor? You first, Tiamat. :D
Tiamat: Here is a Demon Shield I got from those pesky Abysteels. :)
Yiazmat: Awesome! This will help with my intolerance of dark magicks. What about you Linda?
Lindwyrm: *grumbles* ...Here's a bottle of Death Powder and Water Crystals and a brush made of Windslicer Pinions.
Yiazmat: Thanks, but what am I going to with a bottle of watery death powder? o.O
Lindwyrm: Paint yourself! Don't these look awesome? :D

*shows Yiazmat his wings, claws, and forearms*

Yiazmat: ...And you wonder why I call you Linda. >.>
Lindwyrm: I think they look cool D:
Tiamat: I do too! ^_^
Lindwyrm: :D
Yiazmat: -_- ...Anyway, what do you have there Fafnir?
Fafnir: A Leshach Entite.
Yiazmat: I could use something to strengthen my minty, cold breath! :D
Leschach Entite: !! *tries to float away*
Fafnir: *casts Immobilizega* Don't move >.>
Yiazmat: Alright, Helen it's your turn.
Hell Wyrm: -_- Gimme a moment. I'm going to borrow this Fafnir. *pulls a sword from his back*
Fafnir: ARGH! WHY DID YOU DO THAT? >_<!

*Hell Wyrm disappears for a while while Fafnir writhes in pain*

Yiazmat: ...
Hell Wyrm: I'm back. Thanks Fafnir. *puts the sword back and hands Yiazmat a bottle*
Fafnir: AHHH! *Bleep* YOU! D:<
Yiazmat: What is this? *looks inside*

...

Is this the contents of your pool? -_-
Hell Wyrm: No... what makes you say that? ^_^;;
Yiazmat: Because it smells odd. What's this? Is this... a lock of Behemoth King's hair floating in here?
Hell Wyrm: It adds flavor >.>
Yiazmat: *takes a drink* You're right.

*breaks the bottle on Hell Wyrm's head.*

Hell Wyrm: OW! D:
Yiazmat: It tastes like Behemoth King. *spits* -_-
Hell Wyrm: Look what you did! Thats premium pool wate... I mean alcohol!
Yiazmat: ?

 Yiazmat: Gawd, maybe that third gallon of snake wine was a bad idea...
Hell Wyrm: I told you. It's only good in SMALL amounts.
Lindwyrm: Uh, Helen (Hell Wyrm: Hey...), we are GIANT dragons.
Tiamat: Oh, baeh. *Paints claws*
Yiazmat: *Throws up on BK*
Behemoth King: X(
Yiazmat: Ugh, will someone clean this up? It's beginning to rot!

*knock on the door*

Yiazmat: Stop that knocking! I have a massive hangover. >_<
Hell Wyrm: Pssh. Lightweight >.>

*opens the door*

Hell Wyrm: Yesh? Huh?

>_>

<_<

v_v

*sees a package*

Package: Happy Birthday Hell Wyrm!~
Hell Wyrm: I have a birthday? Eh. I wonder what it is? :D

*Montblanc sneaks through the door and presses a button*

*BOOM*

Hell Wyrm: *gets covered in Oil* -_-
Yiazmat: Who was at the door? >_<
Hell Wyrm: An Oil Trap >.>
Yiazmat: ... *Bleep* it. I'm too ****faced to do what I want to do. Looks like I have to revive the *Bleep*. >.>
Hell Wyrm: ...

*walks over to Behemoth King's corpse and cracks his neck back into place*

Behemoth King: ...
Yiazmat: Get up you *Bleep*. -_-
Behemoth King: BEHEMOTH KING IS ALIVE! :D
Yiazmat: Shut up. I need you to... *unintelligible*
Behemoth King: Why? You killed me! Behemoth King couldn't be killed! It does not make sense! >:O
Yiazmat: Who made you? Who gave you minions? Who gave you immortality that you abused? If you don't do what I say and/or speak in the third person again, Yiazmat will have to choke a *****. -_-X
Behemoth King: Okay! Okay! Just don't choke Be~ I mean, me again. D:

*He gets up and prepares a spell*

Hell Wyrm: ...What are you do~ oh Hell no. ._.

*A big, blue, ball of energy appears above Hell Wyrm and...*

*BOOM*

Hell Wyrm: *bursts into flame* AHHHH! YOU WHITE *Bleep*!
Yiazmat: HAHAHAHA! XD
*Hell Wyrm rolls around the floor but is still burning*

Lindwyrm: Whoa. That has got to be the biggest thing I have ever seen catch fire! xD
Fafnir: Yep! XD
Tiamat: That's nothing. Watch and learn boys! >:D

*Tiamat breathes fire on Hell Wyrm... EXPLOSION*

Hell Wyrm: AHHH! WHY TIA WHY?
Tiamat: Thats what you get for earlier! >:D
Lindwyrm/Fafnir/Behemoth King: XD
Hell Wyrm: *Bleep* YOU ALL! I NEED WATER!

*dives into his Jack Daniels pool*

*EPIC EXPLOSION*

Fafnir: Wow... That. Is. Beautiful... o.o
Tiamat: That was worth it. xD
Yiazmat: ROFL! I can't feel my sides! HAHA~ O_O *pukes on Behemoth King*
Behemoth: Aww! You got puke in my hair! >_<
Yiazmat: >_<
Hell Wyrm: *cough* I hate you guys...
Lindwyrm: The booze pool is gone! Oh noes! D:

*from behind a rock...*

Montblanc: *wipes away tear* Hehe! That was a good one! But now it's time for my revenge!

*DUM DUM DUM!*
 *Montblanc walks up to Yiazmat, holding a Fomalhaut with darkshot, but it's been specially engineered and modified by Maria to raep everything*

Montblanc: WAI! WHY DID YOU KILL HIM? *Weeping*
Yiazmat: He and I go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*a few days later*
Yiazmat: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back. We've been sparing for a while. It's just that, I took it a little too far. His body was frail. I'm sorry?
Montblanc: Really?
Yiazmat: Ah, Hellz nah!

*Montblanc jumps back, loads a cartridge into the modified gun, and fires several rotating beams of dark energy*

Yiazmat: I'm immortal, remember. Oh wait, that only prevents me from dying of old age. I guess I'm invincible too.
*Deathstrike*

Montblanc: THAT'S IT!

*pulls out a second modified Fomalhaut*

Montblanc: SAY HELLO TO MY LIL FRIEND! >:O

*bullets fly out at Gatling Gun rate as Montblanc laughs maniacally. Shells land every which way.*

Montblanc: THIS IS FOR YOU BOSS! D:<

*pulls out a modified Volcano and launches 6 Castellanos*

*BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM*

*the smoke clears and Yiazmat is lying face down on the ground*

Montblanc: *pant pant* Thank you Dr. Cid for the weaponry! I hope you burn in Hell >:(
Hell Wyrm: Actually, you are in Hell. My home. Sorry it doesn't look like "Hell" but I only use the fire for special occasions. >.>

*sees Yiazmat face down*

Hell Wyrm: That was one of the more "energetic" burst of attacks I've seen the pale fool take. O_O
Yiazmat: Ugh...Why did you stop shooting? I had this really bad itch that I couldn't scratch and its gone now.

*stands up*

Yiazmat: WHOA! Got up too fast! Dizzy! *collapse* *Bleep*! That's really crazy! I see chocobos flying around... o_O

*pukes*

>_<

Hell Wyrm: Ugh >.>
Montblanc: WTF? O_O;;
Hell Wyrm: Wait, are you the guy who set the Oil Trap at my door?
Yiazmat: I think thats him. CHARGE UR LAZER! :O
Hell Wyrm: I'M GONNA CHARGE MAH LAZER, YOU GOT OIL ON MAH FACE! >:O
Montblanc: OH CRA~

*Judgment! (Shoop-da-whoop! xD)* (LOL if you understand the reference)

Yiazmat: I think that cured my hangover! :D
Hell Wyrm: Aww. D:

*looks at Montblanc who is stopped*

Hell Wyrm: What should be do with him?
Yiazmat: I know!

*opens a portal and hangs Montblanc by his underwear on the Clan Centaurio flagpole*

Hell Wyrm: That will be a pleasant surprise when Stop wears off >.>
Yiazmat: Yep :P

 *Stop wears off*
Montblanc: Owowowowow!! Extreme wedgie!!
Vaan: Hey, Montblanc! What are you doing up there?
Montblanc: That *******, Yiazmat, suspended me up here while I was stopped!
Vaan: I'll get you down! *throws a Danjuro*
Ashe, Tear, Penelo, Anise Tatlin: NOOOO, YOU IDIOT!
Penelo, Tear, Ashe: He'll die if he falls! *They run to catch him*
Anise: YOU KNOW HOW HARD WE WORKED TO GET THAT? 400 LARVA EATERS! FOUR-****ING HUNDRED!

*Up on the flagpole*
Montblanc: Is that a... OH ****!
*Danjuro comes flying through, slicing through Montblanc's boxers*
Montblanc: HOLY ****!!!!
*Caught by teh ladies*
Montblanc: Whew....

Yiazmat: *farts* *Bleep*! That hangover was killer. >_<
Hell Wyrm: OH MAN! WHAT DID YOU EAT? THAT COULD KILL SOMEONE! O.O
Yiazmat: A hume and about a million gallons of your putrid booze -_-
Hell Wyrm: Are you kidding me lightweight? You drank less than a thousand. :O

*the gas begins to fill the underground room...*

Tiamat: Why won't this paint dry faster, Lindwyrm? >.>
Lindwyrm: Because if you rush it you won't get awesome results. You want this don't you? *points to wing*.
Tiamat: But I can't wait! *takes a deep breath*
Lindwyrm: Wait, whats that sme~

*Tiamat breathes fire on her polish*

*KABOOM!*

Fafnir: What the hell is that?
Behemoth King: What the hell is wh~ *WHOOSH*

Yiazmat: *sees fireball spreading* Uh oh...
Hell Wyrm: Look at what your fat ass did no~ *WHOOSH*

*Fire engulfs the entire room*

Hell Wyrm: *Bleep*! *uses Waterga*

*A thousand Watergas later*

Hell Wyrm: *cough* *looks around* MY HOUSE! MY ******* HOUSE!
Yiazmat: Oops :D
Hell Wyrm: OOPS?!? IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY YOU GASSY WORM? First you set me on fire after that Oil Trap, then your fat, bloated ass cuts the cheese and sets my house on fire!
Yiazmat: Don't look at me. Tiamat added to your pain and she set off that gas cloud.
Hell Wyrm: BUT WHO FARTED? WHO TOLD THE BURGER KING TO CAST ARDOR?
Yiazmat: HEY YOU WANT HER~ *looks in Tiamat's direction*
Tiamat: X_X
Lindwyrm: X_X
Fafnir: X_X
Behemoth King: *puts out the fire in his mane* You should have left Behemoth King as a corpse if you were going to set the house on fire. -_-
Yiazmat: Did I just hear you speak in First person again?
Hell Wyrm: Hey! Snow White! What about my ******* house?!?

Montblanc: *Clubs Vaan on the head with a Zeus Mace* YOU STUPID SON OF A *****! THAT COULD HAVE KILLED ME!

Vaan: Ow...*Rubs head*

Ashe and Penelo: *Kick Vaan extra hard in his genitalia, and step back* You could have killed him, not to mention what would happen when the dagger falls...

Meanwhile:

*The danjuro is still flying, and in the middle of Arcadia*
Dr. Cid: I have the feeling a very rare dagger is going to pie-
*Danjuro spikes him in the back of the head*

Meanwhile:
Hell Wyrm: Hm, wait... *Warps Dr. Cid* Welcome to Hell. Or what it used to be anyway.
Dr. Cid: This is Hell? I thought it would be more...
Hell Wyrm: Fiery? It was. Or I was. Then there was an explosion due to "leaking gas" and I had to put it out.
Dr. Cid: I thought I felt the ground shake beneath me.
Yiazmat: That was probably the biggest one I let go in a century. :D
Dr. Cid: Who is that?
Hell Wyrm: He's Yiazmat >.>
Dr. Cid: The same Yiazmat Montblanc wanted to kill?
Hell Wyrm: Yeah... -_-
Dr. Cid: Seeing as you are in Hell, my weapons appear to have struck true! I am good! :D
Yiazmat: Yea...no.
Dr. Cid: How is that possible? My weapons could easily pierce wyrmscale! I tested it extensively on the Shield Wyrms at Cerobi!
Hell Wyrm: Mass dracocide? That does not bode well on your soul.
Yiazmat: I'm a God first and a Wyrm second. I am also... 100% DEATHPROOF!
Dr. Cid: A God? The same God I've been trying to seize the reigns of history from?
Yiazmat: That's me. I haven't altered history since that Chocobo race though. I gave that ability to the Occurians.
Dr. Cid: You control the Occurians too?
Yiazmat: I let them do what they want but yes.
Dr. Cid: So if I kill you, Man will have control of History?
Yiazmat: I never thought about that. I guess?
Dr. Cid: Ah. So my death wasn't in vain.
Yiazmat: ?
Dr Cid: It pains me to inform you that your time here is over...

*takes out his S-27 Tokamak*

Yiazmat: Oh boy. Let me guess what you are going to say next. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Threatening a God? Strike 2.

*weapon charges up*

Yiazmat: The curtain falls!
Dr. Cid: The curtain falls!

*the laser discharges*

Yiazmat/ Dr. Cid: Farewell!...

*EXPLOSION*

Dr. Cid: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

*smoke*

Dr. Cid: If you want something done right, do it yourself. *blows the smoke from his laser*
Yiazmat: That was mildly annoying. Great words though.
Dr. Cid: What the hell? Why are you still standing?!? D:
Yiazmat: What part of 100% Deathproof don't you get?
Hell Wyrm: Trying to kill Yiazmat and I? That's it. I've made my Judgment.

*Hell Wyrm charges up Judgment*

Hell Wyrm: As Vayne would say, What am I to do with those who would oppose me... but show them death! >:D

*JUDGMENT*

Dr. Cid: Ughhh... *collapse*
Hell Wyrm: If he wasn't supposed to die right now, I would wipe my ass with his soul. Send him back please. -_-
Yiazmat: Vayne was always a good orator. *revives Cid and sends him back*

*Back in Archadia where Cid is lying on his desk*

Dr. Cid: Ugh. That was the worst dream ever. I shouldn't have had that 5th bottle of wine.

*looks on the floor and finds the Danjuro that killed him*

Dr. Cid: Eh? A Danjuro? This will be a great letter opener for me! :D



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2008, 10:49:10 PM »
Vaan: *Bound and gagged* Ghghghhghh!
Ashe: Now that your no longer a threat to the living populace...
Penelo: It's time for us to... *check Map hint* head to the Draklor Laboratory.
Basch: Did you gear up yet?
Ashe: Nope. I WAS going to use the Danjuro, but this idiot over here threw it somewhere.
Penelo: Good going, bishie...
Basch: What the hell is a bishie?

*Party does annoying Chops sidequest, treks through the Draklor labs, and reaches Dr. Cid*

Dr. Cid: Welcome...

*Epically...Boring short battle*

Dr. Cid: Aren't I supposed to die later?
Basch: That is a good point. *stabs Cid*
Penelo: Oh bother. *Casts Curaga on herself*
Dr. Cid: See you in hell. Again.
Ashe: Hey, isn't this the Danjuro Vaan threw?
Penelo: Oh yeah...


Dr. Cid: Oh come now! I was supposed to die LATER! *collapse* X(
Ashe: *picks up Danjuro* I just realized I don't have the license for this weapon. o.O

*picks it up by the blade*

Ashe: OW! >_<
Basch: Give me that before you hurt yourself! *drops it on his foot* O_O!
Penelo: *pulls it out and drops it on the floor* OKAY! It looks like none of us know how to use this.
Ashe: Except Vaan >_<
Basch: Someone cast Curaja! My foot REEEEALLLLY HURTS! O_O

*Penelo casts Curaja*

*meanwhile*

Hell Wyrm: *warps Dr. Cid* Welcome to He~ Oh. It's you again. >_>
Dr. Cid: *Bleep* those meddling kids... and my son, and his anthro-bunny, and that *Bleep* knight!
Hell Wyrm: *sigh* -_-
Dr. Cid: So... what now?
Hell Wyrm: Oh, I dunno... stop dying prematurely maybe? -_-X
Dr. Cid: Easy for you to say.
Hell Wyrm: Yeah yeah yeah. Hold on. *grabs Cid*
Dr. Cid: HEY! WHAT ARE YOU~
Hell Wyrm: Shut up or I'll crush you. -_-

*summons Famfrit*

Hell Wyrm: Hi Famfrit.
Famfrit: Mmm?

*BREAKART PENTAGRAM*

Hell Wyrm: Bye Famfrit.
Famfrit: MMM... *collapse* X_X

*opens menu*

Hell Wyrm: Let's see here...

License ->

*unlocks Famfrit for Dr. Cid*

Dr. Cid: Yay! New summon! :D
Hell Wyrm: Quiet.

Equipment ->

Dr. Cid

Attack Power: 22
Defense: 29
Magick Resist: 32
Evade: 7
Magick Evade: 0
Strength: 36
Magick Power: 21
Vitality: 72
Speed: 30

Weapon: Modified Capella + Onion Shot (Hell Wyrm: Eww...)
Off-Hand: Modified Capella + Onion Shot (Hell Wyrm: Double eww...)
Helm: Officer's Hat (Hell Wyrm: That's fine)
Armor: Demon Mail (Hell Wyrm: That's fine too)
Accessory: Jade Collar (Hell Wyrm: What a girly necklace :P)

*changes ammo*

Weapon: Modified Capella + Windslicer Shot
Off-Hand: Modified Capella + Windslicer Shot
Helm: Officer's Hat
Armor: Demon Mail
Accessory: Jade Collar

Hell Wyrm: That will do.

Main Menu ->

Dr. Cid: LV 40 HP: 72,989 MP: 999

Hell Wyrm: He could use a boost.

*LEVEL UP 10X + 9,184 HP + 2 Strength + 5 Magick Power + 5 Vitality + 1 Speed + 1 Evasion*

Dr. Cid: Yay! :D
Hell Wyrm: Quiet.

Dr. Cid: LV 50 HP: 82,093 MP: 999

Attack Power: 28
Defense: 29
Magick Resist: 32
Evade: 8
Magick Evade: 0
Strength: 38
Magick Power: 26
Vitality: 77
Speed: 31

*leaves menu*

Dr. Cid: I feel stronger! :D

*runs around*

Hell Wyrm: Really, Einstein? -_-
Dr. Cid: Awesome ammo too! I can't find enough Wind Crystals to make these myself!
Hell Wyrm: Despite the name, they don't have the Wind element on them. Lindwyrm made those... naturally.
Dr. Cid: You mean...
Hell Wyrm: Yep. Poop Bullets :P
Dr. Cid: EWW! *drops guns which discharge into Hell Wyrm's foot*
Hell Wyrm: OW! >:O
Dr. Cid: Uh oh O.O;;

*Hell Wyrm opens a portal and flings Cid into the air*

Dr. Cid: AHHHHHHH!
Hell Wyrm: I'm going to feel that later -_-

*Dr. Cid wakes up in his lab*

Dr. Cid: Ugh... I gotta stop drinking. -_-

Yiazmat: Eww, they're starting to rot.

Hell Wyrm: *Poke* *Renew* There.

Fafnir: What just happened?

Hell Wyrm: Fat-ass over here just let a big one, just as soon as Tia decided it would be a good idea to blow fire.

Behemoth King: Behemoth King feels like...CHOKING A *****! *Begins to choke Tiamat*

Tiamat: Le...t...GO......Do...o........r...........b.......e.......x_x

Yiazmat: Eh, I'll let it go this one time. What was she going to say?
*Ding Dong*
Yiazmat: Oh. Hey, Fafnir, go get it?

Fafnir: Why me?

Yiazmat: Does Yiazmat have to show you why?

Fafnir: *Gets door*

*One epic explosion later*

Fafnir: x_x

Lindwyrm: What the hell was that? O.O
Behemoth King: Well, it was strong enough to wipe out Fafnir. D:

*the smoke clears*

Montblanc: I'VE COME FOR YOUR HEAD YIAZMAT AND THIS TIME I'M READY! COME ON OUT MY BRETHREN! >:O
Horne: *bloody (that means critical HP :P) with a Masamune* WE SHALL AVENGE OUR MASTER! >:O
Hurdy: *bloody with a Masamune* THIS IS IVALICE! >:O
Gurdy: *with a little staff* You shall pay, you pale lizard! >:(
Sorbet: *with a little staff* You guys make steaks out of those *Bleep* and we will handle the rest! >:(

*Gambits activate! Montblanc, Horne, and Hurdy have Berserk, Haste, Bravery!*

Yiazmat: Did that one moogle yell "This is Ivalice" like it meant something?
Hell Wyrm: *watches Lindwyrm get his throat slit and his liver cut out* Uh... I'm pretty sure that is the least of our problems right now. O_O
Yiazmat: What problem? You mean the rampaging Moogle army trying to kill me? Tsk tsk. You don't use your mind do you?
Hell Wyrm: What do you mean?
Yiazmat: *looks at Horne running to him at blazing speed* Watch this. >:D

*runs over to Behemoth King and whacks him hard over the head*

Behemoth King: ARGH! WHAT THE HELL? *magick barrier pops up*
Yiazmat: Don't move. >:)

*puts Behemoth King in a headlock and blocks Horne's attack with his body*

Behemoth King: OW! D:<
Horne: Ack! X_X
Hell Wyrm: Oh yeah... I forgot that Behemoth King reflects damage o.O
Sorbet: What the! I'll save you Horne!
Hell Wyrm: OH NO YOU DON'T! >:(

*EPIC DEATH TOUCH*

Sorbet: Uhh... *collapse* X_X
Hell Wyrm: OH YEAH! HAHA! >:D

*Hurdy cuts Hell Wyrm*

Hell Wyrm: OW! D:<
Yiazmat: Catch! *throws Behemoth King across the room*
Behemoth King: AHHHHHH!
Hell Wyrm: *catches* WHOA! THAT'S HEAVY! O_O

*blocks Hurdy's attack with Behemoth King*

Behemoth King: OW! D:<
Hurdy: X_X
Yiazmat: *winces as a newly revived and critical Horne whacks him* PASS HIM BACK!
Hell Wyrm: HERE YOU GO! *launches Behemoth King into the air*
Behemoth King: WHY! D:<
Yiazmat: *catches him and blocks Horne's attack* Where is that other decoy moogle?
Gurdy: *revives Sorbet and Hurdy*
Yiazmat: Not this time! *holds his arm (or foot >.>) out in dramatic fashion* I CONDEMN THEE TO DEATH!

*DEATHSTRIKE!*

Gurdy: Oh no... *collapse* X_X

Montblanc: *Throws a Holy Mote* Horne! *Begins Charging Arise*
Yiazmat: Oh, on you don't! *Begins charging Montblanc*
Montblanc: *Grabs Behemoth King, and Arises Horne* Howdya like this?!
Yiazmat: *whacks BK* OW!
Behemoth King: That's it! Behemoth King MAD! *Grabs Yiazmat, and they begin wrestling*
Hell Wyrm: Hey, who wants popcorn?
Sorbet: I'll go get some drinks!
Horne: Gurdy, go order some Chinese!

*Gurdy goes to order Chinese*

Montblanc: What's that near Yiazmat's le...OH MY GOD!

Yiazmat: What's by my le~ OH MY GOD! THAT'S NASTY! D:<

*kicks away Lindwyrm's guts*

Yiazmat: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU *Bleep* MOOGLES DISEMBOWEL LINDW~
Behemoth King: RAWR >:O *tackles Yiazmat*
Yiazmat: Why you little! *picks up Lindwyrm and whacks Behemoth King over the head*
Behemoth King: UGH! >_<

*blood and guts spray over the spectators*

Gurdy: EWW!
Horne: THAT'S NASTY D:
Montblanc: *a kidney lands on him* GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! D:<
Hell Wyrm: *picks up the kidney and eats it* Hmm. So that's how we taste like. Delicious :D

*Behemoth King picks up Lindwyrm's giant neck ring and bashes Yiazmat with it*

Yiazmat: Ow! Ow! Ugh! THAT'S IT! >:O

*blocks the Ring, steals it from him and rams it onto Behemoth King, locking his arms together*

Behemoth King: WHAT THE HELL? GET THIS OFF OF BEHEMOTH KING!
Yiazmat: No. Are you ready for the beating of a lifetime? >:)

*Yiazmat grabs him by the mane and slams his head into the ground a few times*

Behemoth King: Ohh... WHOA! o_O

*Yiazmat picks him up by the tail and flings him into the air. He jumps up, tackles King and body slams him into the ground*

Behemoth King: AHHAHAHAOWW! >_<

*Yiazmat continues wailing on King with tail whacks and punches before turning Lindwyrm belly up and sticking King's face into the very large gaping wound in the corpse*

Behemoth King: !!!

*He wraps Lindwyrm's intestines around King's neck*

Yiazmat: RAWR! TAP OUT ******-******! TAP OUT! >:(

*Behemoth King taps out*

Yiazmat: *drops an unconcious Behemoth King* THAT'S RIGHT! WHO'S THE BEST? I'M DA BEST! *epic roar* >:D
Hell Wyrm: The winner of this impromptu No-holds-barred, Dragon Entrails (eww?) Match is... A blood-covered Yiazmat. -_-
Yiazmat: OH YEAH! :D
Moogles: BOOO!
Yiazmat: He-hey! Shut up! >:(
Hell Wyrm: And the clear loser is Lindwyrm. And Behemoth King. And me... >.>

*ding-dong*

Hell Wyrm: I'll get it!

*opens door*

Archadian Ardent: Chinese food delivery.
Hell Wyrm: Thanks! :D
Archadian Ardent: That will be 5,000 Gil. Plus Tip.
Hell Wyrm: Here's your gil. And your tip.

*DEATH TOUCH*

Archadian Ardent: X_X
Hell Wyrm: FOOD'S HERE! :D

Montblanc: Hey, Yiazmat, pass the sweet and sour shrimp.
*Yiazmat passes the shrimp*
Yiazmat: Hell Wyrm, gimme some of that lamb.
Hell Wyrm: Bah, pass me some of---hey, wait a minute, aren't we supposed to be maiming each other?
Montblanc and Yiazmat: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that can wait until after lunch.
Horne and Hell Wyrm: Did they just agree on something?
Gurdy, Trickster (wtf, undead, talking chocobo?), Sorbet and Tiamat (where was she in all of this? I don't know): I think they did.
Montblanc: *Eats vigorously* Mmh. This is delicious. Hey Gurdy, where did you order this Chinese?

*Ashe, Penelo, Basch, Balthier, and Fran (Vaan is still tied up) show up*

Yiazmat: Hey, guys, Princess, fanservice. Come have some Chinese!
Hell Wyrm: Gurdy ordered it a while ago.
Ashe: Uh... Alright, why are there dead wyrm carcasses, and a sleeping Behemoth on the ground?
Penelo: Let's not worry about that now, Princess, Yiazmat will explain that later. Lets eat :D

*After Yiazmat explains the situation.*

Baltheir: Hold on. You mean to tell me that those moogles killed Lindwyrm? In 10 seconds? I don't believe that. >.>
Horne: O RLY? *holds a Danjuro to his throat*
Balthier: I stand corrected O_O
Basch: You rammed that large ring on BK and flung him into the air? o.O
Yiazmat: Yup :D
Baltheir Then you stuck BK's face into the stomach of that corpse and wrapped his intestines around his neck to force a submission?
Yiazmat: That's right! :D
Balthier: Wow! O_O
Basch: Awesome! :D
Fran: Ugh. Men >.>
Montblanc: Psst. Ashe.
Ashe: Hmm?
Montblanc: I have a job for you.

>_>

<_<

*hands Ashe a letter*

Ashe: Hey everyone! I have something to tell you!

*the party gathers around Ashe*

Penelo: But look what he did to Behemoth King! I don't want to fight that! >_<
Basch: I think I can take him. >:D
Fran: Are you mad?
Balthier: I think he's still buzzed from that last Bacchus Wine. Anyway, he promised us treasure and you know how much I like treasure :D
Fran: You're like a bird, do you know that? >.>
Ashe: C'mon! Lets do it!
Vaan: MHMHMHMHM *still tied up*

Ashe: YIAZMAT! YOUR LIFE SHALL END AT MY BLADE! *takes out Tournesol* >:O
Montblanc: MOOGLES! GET BACK TO YOUR POSITIONS!
Yiazmat: After having such a nice lunch? Aww! :(
Party + Moogles: CHARGE! >:(
Trickster: KWEH! KWEH! O_O;; *flees with the corpse of the Archadian Delivery Man*

*The army chases after Tiamat*

Tiamat: *running for dear life* AHH! HELP ME! I DON'T WANNA DIE! >_<;;

*censored for being too graphic*

Yiazmat: *looks at what remains of Tiamat* Uhh... Hell Wyrm? Any ideas? O_O
Hell Wyrm: You fat *Bleep* -_- *uses Libra*
Yiazmat: Hey >.> *spits out a Bangle and picks it up*

*Hell Wyrm looks at Hume + Moogle + One Viera Army's level*

Vaan = Lv 84
Basch/ Balthier = Lv 83
Ashe/ Penelo/ Fran = Lv 89

All of the Moogles = Lv 97

Hell Wyrm: You see that?
Yiazmat: Yeah! All of them have levels higher than ours! >_<
Hell Wyrm: You really are an idiot, you know that? THEIR LEVELS ARE PRIME! -_-X
Yiazmat: Really? *thinks* Isn't 97 divisible by 9?
Hell Wyrm: *face-palm (or foot >.>)* Only Vaan's level isn't prime and he's tied up. >.>
Yiazmat: So?...
Hell Wyrm: You know what? Go over there and slam your head against the wall. I'll deal with this.
Yiazmat: v_v

*Hell Wyrm uses Prime Lv. Death*

(Disclaimer: He doesn't use that attack. Then again, he's the King of Hell so don't say he can't use it. >.>)

Montblanc: I told you we needed to level more!...ugh. *collapse*
Fran: One more Abysteel and we wouldn't be dead... *collapse*
Everyone else except Vaan: *thud* X_X
Vaan: ZzZzZz...

Yiazmat: Oh yeah. I forgot about that o.o
Hell Wyrm: Sure you did -_-
Yiazmat: Are we the only ones alive here?
Hell Wyrm: There's Behemoth King but you knocked him out with Lindwyrm's intestine >.>
Yiazmat: *kicks Behemoth King* Wake up, we need to leave.
Behemoth King: Ugh... What happen~ OMFG! TIAMAT! *pukes*
Hell Wyrm: Yeah... about that... you go fix up Fafnir. Snow White, you piece Lindwyrm back together and I'll deal with Tiamat.

*after an hour of putting things back together*

Lindwyrm: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL MOON RING? TT_TT
Hell Wyrm: Don't worry about that. We'll fix it later. We gotta go. It's too dangerous right now.
Fafnir: Where will we go?
Yiazmat: I dunno?
Hell Wyrm: GET OUT! We'll figure it out later -_-

*The Wyrmy party sets off. The door slams behind them*

Vaan: *wakes up and gets out of the rope* Whoa. *looks at the dead bodies* I'm going to need an Elixir to bring them back to life. O_O

Ashe: Thanks, bishie. *Begins humming Fuyu ga Hajimaru yo*
Penelo: Ashe, what song is that?
Ashe: Oh, just a Japanese song I listened to the other day.
Penelo: *Hums along*
Vaan: Hey, stop humming, skunks.
Penelo: What?!
Vaan: *Begins singing Gimme More by Britney Spears*
Penelo: Grr! *Begins charging Flare*
Ashe: *Casts Ultima*

*Death*

Hell Wyrm: ... Holy crap.

*cue the wyrmy party being stuck in a corridor*

Tiamat: So... which way?
Hell Wyrm: If I could turn my head, I'd be able to tell you >.>
Tiamat: How the hell did you guys chase each other through these narrow corridors? Especially you Fafnir, with your... injury. o_O
Fafnir: Thats a good question... I crawled for dear life. ._.
Yiazmat: I have to fart :3
Wyrm Party: O_O;;
Tiamat: SOMEONE START DIGGING! NAOW!

*Lindwyrm digs his ass off through the tunnel and breaks into the light in 10 seconds.*

Yiazmat: That did it. xD
Lindwyrm: AHH! THE LIGHT! IT BURNS! >_<
Hell Wyrm: I forgot how bright the sun was. ._.
Behemoth King: C'mon. It's not that bright. This is normal >.>
Tiamat: Do something about the sun, Yiazmat. I can't see! >_<
Yiazmat: That's what you get for living underground for a century >.>

*CYCLONE*

*The Tchita Uplands are now cloudy*

Hell Wyrm: That's better! :D
Fafnir: ... But look what you did. -_-

*dead Coeurls, Malboro Overkings and Serpents lie all over the plains*

Yiazmat: Uhh... Lunch Break? o.O
Tiamat: Didn't we just eat like 3 hours ago?
Lindwyrm: Do you notice how big we are? Besides, I need to rest after tunneling for dear life >.>
Behemoth King: Yay food! :D

Hell Wyrm: *Eats a Couerl* This is quite delicious.
Yiazmat: I'm gonna go order some Chinese. Any requests?
Lindwyrm: Sweet and sour Chocobo would be nice. And Tempura Moogle! :3
Hell Wyrm: What the me is wrong with you? How could you eat something as adorable as a moogle?
Lindwyrm: With soy sauce! DUH!
Hell Wyrm: Oh you better start running....
Yiazmat: I guess I must choke a *****... *Chokes Linda*
Linda: X(

*Meanwhile*

Montblanc: Huh? Where did those scaly *Bleep* head off to? *Goes to Pharos with:*
*Ashe uses Scan*
Montblanc - Level 99
Attack: 100 (Guns) 300 (Save the Queens) (Ashe: daayaaaam!)
Strength: 105 (Ashe: Wow, break strength limit)
Defense: 108 (Ashe: Wow, and he died, HOW?)
Magic: 235 (Ashe: I pity those who he casts Flare on)
Magic Resist: 999 (Ashe: ...)
Vitality: 201 (Ashe: ....)
Speed: 48 (Ashe: This is ridiculous)

Equip:
Weapon: Modified dual Fomalhauts, with Darkshot. (Ashe: How can he do this?)
Off-Hand: Dual Zodiac Spears (Ashe: He must have spent a lot of time in the Henne Mines)
Head: Moogle Ears (Ashe: They are so cute :3. And the +999 Magic Resist can't hurt).
Body: Centurio Coat (Ashe: 108 Defense. For poofy pants and boxers. WTF?)
Accessory: Kupo (Ashe: This does?)

Montblanc: *Clears Pharos* WHERE CAN THEY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!


Hell Wyrm: *looks around the Tchita Uplands* *Bleep*! Did we eat everything?
Behemoth King: No. *eats the last coeurl* Now we ate everything. :P
Yiazmat: You do know you have to bring them all back since you ate the last creature, right Beethoven?
Behemoth King: What?!? Aww...why did you call me Beethoven? o.O
Yiazmat: Crazy hair. That's not normal on a wyrm either. >.>
Behemoth King: Don't be jealous. I look awesome with my mane and goatee. :P
Yiazmat: Yeah...no. Bring them back and lets go.
Behemoth King: -_-

*1 hour later and the field is filled with creatures*

Lindwyrm: *revived* You two need to stop choking things >.>
Yiazmat: Sure...
Fafnir: By the way, where are we going? o.O
Yiazmat: Isn't it obvious?
Fafnir: No...
Yiazmat: Your place. :P
Fafnir: And blow up my house? No way! >:(
Hell Wyrm: Uhh, yeah way! We said so. :D
Tiamat: I haven't been to your place anyway Fafi. I want to see what it looks like. :)
Fafnir: Uh... O_O;;
Hell Wyrm: Move unless you want to suffer massive internal injuries from one of us smacking that giant "ornament" you have on your back. >.>
Fafnir: D:

*the wyrmy party reach the edge of the water at the Phon Coast*

Yiazmat: It looks like we have to swim to Estersand river to avoid being spotted.
Hell Wyrm: Ugh. Swimming. >.>
Yiazmat: ...you can swim right?
Hell Wyrm: Yeah, I just don't like it unless it's in my liquor pool.
Yiazmat: ALL of you can swim right?
Tiamat: Yeah.
Lindwyrm: Of course.
Behemoth King: Sure.
Fafnir: No. ._.
Yiazmat: What?
Fafnir: The saltwater seeps into my cuts and stings like Hell >.>
Yiazmat: Aw... it's okay.

*Yiazmat flings Fafnir by his tail far out into the ocean*

Fafnir: AHH! IT BURNS! D:
Yiazmat: You'll manage. C'mon kids.



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2008, 10:51:32 PM »
*the party starts their long swim to the Estersand to get to their destination...*

Fafnir: *Gets out out of the water* Someone, use waterga on me... now... ow...
Yiazmat: *Waterga's Fafnir* Happy, you wuss?
Fafnir: Yes. Now that the salt water isn't burning my flesh.
Behemoth King: *Begins casting Ardor*
Hell Wyrm: *Uses Niho'd handkerchief* I like BK's thinking.
Fafnir:...
*Asplosion*
Yiazmat: *Wakes up*
Fafnir, Lindwyrm, Tiamat: xD
Hell Wyrm: They're smiling. And dead.
Behemoth King: Hey, guys, revive them, some *Bleep* be knocking!
*Meanwhile*
Montblanc: *Stares at a door, wondering how to open it*
Ashe: It's been a while. Is anyone home?
Vaan: Not in your brain, apparently...
Penelo: *Slaps Vaan* Skank-bag.

*cue wyrmy party in the middle of the ocean, far from any land mass*

Tiamat: ...Where the hell are we? o.O
Hell Wyrm: That's a good question. -_-
Fafnir: You know we wouldn't be lost if Beethoven didn't nuke me with Ardor! I'm sure that explosion could be seen from Balfonheim! >:O
Behemoth King: But it was funny, right? xD
Hell Wyrm: You control the weather right? Which way is the wind blowing?
Yiazmat: South.
Lindwyrm: I'm tired D:
Hell Wyrm: You'll live >.>
Lindwyrm: I'm hungry. D:
Hell Wyrm: How old are you?
Lindwyrm: Five... D:
Tiamat: You mean five hundred. :P
Hell Wyrm: Stop ********. Kids these days. >.>
Yiazmat: I'm tired and hungry too. D:
Hell Wyrm: You ate like 3 hours ago. -_-
Yiazmat: Uhh... giant wyrms here. Anyway, I got an idea :D

*Yiazmat dives underwater*

Fafnir: What's he doing? o.O
Hell Wyrm: I don't know ._.

*a myriad of bubbles appear at the surface*

Tiamat: Who farted? o_O
Behemoth King: Sorry :3
Fafnir: I don't think that it was Barney who did that. o_o
Lindwyrm: What's going on down there?
Hell Wyrm: I think we are going to find~

*Yiazmat parts the ocean (LOL MOSES REFERENCE) with a Cyclone and the wyrmy party flies down through the ocean on a giant tsunami wave*

Yiazmat: Whee! :D
Hell Wyrm: HO~ LEE~ CRAP! O_O
Behemoth King: GET OFF OF ME! D:<
Fafnir: *uses BK as a surfboard* This is fun! :D
Tiamat: Land ho!
Lindwyrm: Uhh... how do we stop?
Yiazmat: Haven't though about that. xD
Lindwyrm: Oh crap. ._.

*at the Estersand riverbank*

Tchigri: What's over there, Daddy?
Ruksel: I don't know son. *pulls out binoculars*

*sees the giant tsunami*

Ruksel! O_O EVERYONE GET TO HIGHER LAND NAOW! GO GO GO! >:O

*the village empties in 5 minutes*

*Tidal wave slams into the village*

Yiazmat: x_X
Hell Wyrm: Wait, I thought he can't die.]
Behemoth King: Behemoth King says he's probably asleep.
Fafnir: So who's going to carry him to my place?
*Everyone stares at Fafnir*
Fafnir: You're all a bunch of *Bleep*, you know that?
Behemoth King: Start lugging before Behemoth King has to choke a *****.

*Two hours later*

Lindwyrm: Where the **** are we?
Fafnir: Yeah, where are we, Behemoth Noob?
Behemoth: What you call Behemoth King?!
Fafnir: You heard me, Behemoth Thing.
Hell Wyrm: Alright, you bunch of whining idiots. Shut up, and keep moving.
Fafnir: *Begins casting Shock*
Tiamat: Hell Wyrm, if you would.
Hell Wyrm: I guess so. *Judgment*

*cue Hell Wyrm casting Judgment*

Hell Wyrm: I'M CHARGIN' MAH LAZOR! >:O

*JUDGMENT!*

Fafnir: Ahahahahoww! D:
Behemoth King: Alright! We get the message! >_<
Yiazmat: Ugh. What happened? Did someone hurl a mountain at me? ._o
Hell Wyrm: Why does my signature attack cure you of your ailments? -_-
Yiazmat: Because I'm good and you're evil. EVIL! *points a claw at him* O_< *eye twitch*
Hell Wyrm: Put that claw down. Where are we, thy holiness? -_-
Yiazmat: I'd say you are in the courtyard of the Nalbina Palace.
Hell Wyrm: I think you have a concussion. The Nalbina Palace. Ha! Good one.
Yiazmat: Then explain the giant walls surrounding us and the large sign that says "Welcome to the Nalbina Palace".
Hell Wyrm: WTF?

*cue the wyrmy party stuck in the courtyard of the Nalbina Palace* :P

Tiamat: Wow! This place is beautiful! I don't know why we never come here, Lindy. o.o
Lindwyrm: I dunno. Maybe because of the fact that we are 30 meters in length and we look terrifying? >.>
Tiamat: If you put it that way :P
Hell Wyrm: Never mind that, how did we get in here without being seen? O_O
Fafnir: Good question. How did we get in here, Behemoth THING?
Behemoth King: Shut up. -_-
Yiazmat: Well, we just have to get out.

*he gets up and the ground beneath them collapses*

Wyrmy Party: AHHHH! D:<

*EPIC THUD*

*Party currently in the Nalbina Dunge~*

*the ground beneath them collapses again*

Wyrmy Party: WTF!!! D:<

*Now cue the party in the Barheim Passage*

Yiazmat: Oh man. Is everyone okay?
Fafnir: I'm still here *cough* >_<
Lindwyrm: Me too. *cough* Where's Tiamat?
Tiamat: Up here! HELP! O_O

*hanging onto the edge of the large hole in the Nalbina Dungeon*

Hell Wyrm: Just let go and fly down. -_-
Tiamat: Oh yeah! ^_^;;

*She joins the group on the ground*

Behemoth King: Now where are we? -_-
Yiazmat: I'd say the Barheim Passage.
Lindwyrm: I've been here before. This is the West Annex. o.o
Behemoth King: Then lets get out of here!

*meanwhile*

Vayne: I want the new bumper pool table here and the Bhujerban Madhu Fountain over there. This place will be my new summer home! :D

*sees giant hole in the courtyard*

Vayne: WTF?
Larsa: A new swimming pool could go there. o.O
Vayne: Great idea, little bro! :D

*One year later*
Ashe: He's still staring at the door. *points at Montblanc*
Penelo: Bah. I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I want to bathe, and I need to sleep. I'm out of here.
Ashe: Basch, lets go with her.
Basch: You, bishie, take care of Montblanc.
Vaan: Why me?!
Fran: Because, nobody likes you.

*Meanwhile*
Yiazmat: ZzzZZzZzzZz
Hell Wyrm: *Snoaaaaaaaaaaaaaar*
Tiamat: Snnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... *Awkward snore*
Lindwyrm: *Quiet*
Behemoth King: Oh, harder....WTF! Fafnir, what are you doing here?!
Fafnir: *Quiet*

*Techno music asplodes above the cave*

Tiamat: *Bleep*, I need to get my beauty rest, and Vayne is having a party. Again. For the ninth week in a mother ****ing row.
Fafnir: HEY! *****es! WTF! BE QUIET!
Behemoth King: Hey, Fafnir, Behemoth King don't need to hear none of your nerd-acronyms!
Yiazmat: Ahem...
Behemoth King: I'm Sorry. I don't need to hear none of your nerd-acronyms.
Hell Wyrm: *Pokes ceiling with giant Zodiac Spear* Hey, YOU GUYS BE QUIET*
*Water drips*
Lindwyrm: This can't be good.
*Water pours out of the ceiling. Vayne, two naked men, and Larsa fall through*

Yiazmat: Dive into the nasty water NAOW! >:O

*cue the wyrmy party diving into the murky Barheim lake to escape the falling humes*

Vayne: I'm too sexy to die! D:<

*Larsa casts Float and the little group lands safely*

Vayne: That was a close one! O.O;;
Larsa: I told you that making the prisoners build your pool was a bad idea. -_-
Vayne: Hey. They have to repay their debt to society.
Larsa: *under his breath* By killing you. >.>
Vayne: You say something, little bro?
Larsa: Oh nothing. Who are those guys? o_O
Prisoners: RUN!
Vayne: What am I to do with those who would oppose me... but show them death! >:O

*Vayne Mach Wave's the prisoners*

Prisoners: X_X
Vayne: Oh yeah. I'm awesome! :D
Larsa: Okay Mr. Awesome, how do we get back up to the palace? -_-
Vayne: Pssh. That's easy. We'll fly back up.
Larsa: Okay... how? o.O
Vayne: Silly bro, I'M MR. AWESOME! :D

*pulls out Winged Boots and flies through the giant hole with Larsa*

Vayne: TO THE CONTRACTORS! :O

*bubbles float to the surfaces of the lake*

Yiazmat: *jumps out of the water* EW EW EW EW! *spits out a Suriander*
Suriander: X_X

*the rest of the wyrmy party gets out of the lake*

Yiazmat: *Bleep* THAT'S PUTRID! >_<
Hell Wyrm: I actually ate some of those while we were down there. Pretty good. :P
Tiamat: I need a bath. D:
Fafnir: Ooh! Food! :D *eats a prisoner*
Behemoth King: Save one for me!
Lindwyrm: Ugh. We need to get out of here. This place is constantly plagued with escaping prisoners and treasure hunters >.>
Tiamat: That's what I've been saying for 6 months -_-
Yiazmat: Fine. Lets go >.>

*the wyrmy party begins trekking through the murky waters to get to the exit of Barheim. However, it is blocked thanks to the collapse of the tunnel by Mimic Queen*

Tiamat: Aww! Now we'll never get out! D:
Lindwyrm: I'm sick of eating Surianders and Dead Bones! The Dead Bones like to poke around inside. D:
Fafnir: Who told you to eat them? They are toothpicks, not food >.>
Yiazmat: SHUT UP ALREADY AND LET ME THINK!
Hell Wyrm: You think? That's a good one :P
Yiazmat: Shut up. >:(
Hell Wyrm: Look over there, thinker. >.>
Yiazmat: What?

*a group of Bombs float around on the Zeviah Span*

Hell Wyrm: Sound good?
Yiazmat: Sounds good! :D

*after an hour of sticking Bombs into the little cracks of the rubble*

Bombs: RAWR! D:<
Yiazmat: Who's setting off the explosives?

*everyone points to Behemoth King*

Behemoth King: What? Aw crap. v_v
Hell Wyrm: Hold on. *Uses a Niho-Handkerchief on the bombs* Go ahead! :D
Behemoth King: -_-

*Behemoth King casts Ardor*

*OMFG ASPLOSION!*

Behemoth King: *goatee on fire* PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
Hell Wyrm: *uses Waterga* There. Now we have a way out!
Behemoth King: It took me a century to grow this goatee! D:
Tiamat: You don't need one. You look ridiculous enough >.>

*the party exits the tunnel into the Estersand*

Fafnir: Wait. You mean to tell me that we got nowhere after I dragged Yiazmat's sleeping girth for 2 hours?!?
Lindwyrm: You got nowhere, Fafnir. Maybe about 500 meters but that's it. -_-
Hell Wyrm: Never mind that, how do we get to Paramina Rift without being seen?
Yiazmat: I dunno? Maybe FLY? DUH! :O
Hell Wyrm: We can't you idiot! Archadia and Rozzaria patrol these parts and two huge warring nations are bound to see us!
Yiazmat: Oh. o.o

Yiazmat: Wait, why would it matter? Me and Hell Wyrm are immortal AND invincible! *Grins*
Hell Wyrm: Good point. I vote we fly!
Behemoth King: I vote we fly too! :)
Fafnir: You're an idiot, why should we fly?
Behemoth King: Because I'm immortal too :)
Fafnir: Yes, but you're not invincible. Nor can you fly. Think Behemoth Thing.
Lindwyrm: So hows about me and Tia over here carry Fafnir, who will hold Behemoth King as a meat shield? Hell Wyrm, Yiazmat, you could protect us fine maidens. *Sexy wink*
Yiazmat and Hell Wyrm: Oooh, me likie.....

*Meanwhile*

Larsa: Vayne, those two nekkid men weren't prisoners, were they?
Vayne: Of course they are! Why would they not be?
Larso: Why were they at our party, in the hot tub with you then?
Vayne: Fine. They were.....

*Meanwhile*

Montblanc: *Stares at door*

Will the wyrms ever find their way to Paramina Rift? When will Fafnir stop being picked on by the other wyrms? Does Behemoth King have a brain? Who were those men anyway? And will Montblanc stop staring at the door? Tune in and find out...

Lindwyrm: So who's carrying Fafnir?
Hell Wyrm: Are you kidding? No one can fly with him! He has a giant sword sticking out of his back! And he stinks. >.>
Fafnir: Say what now?
Hell Wyrm: Oh nothing :3
Behemoth King: And again because of Faffy, we can't get to our destination the easy way -_-
Fafnir: You don't have wings either Behemoth THING >:(
Yiazmat: Hey... no fighting -_-
Tiamat: I have an idea. Why don't you just open a portal like you always do, Yiazzy? o.O
Yiazmat: ... I don't know o.O
Hell Wyrm: *facepalm* *Bleep*, you're stupid. -_-
Yiazmat: I don't see you thinking that up or opening one yourself. >.>

*opens a portal*

Yiazmat: Lets go.

*the group walks through the portal. The group ends up in the entrance of the Paramina Rift*

Yiazmat: Whoa. Was it always this cold? >_<
Fafnir: Uh yeah. Look how pale I am >.>
Behemoth King: It's not cold >.>
Hell Wyrm: You're purple, Beethoven and you live in a snowfield. -_-
Lindwyrm: I'm cold! D: Warm me up cousin!
Tiamat: *breathes fire and lights up a neighboring Wild Onion* Oops. ._.
Wild Onion: AHHHH!!!

*runs into a group of Wild Onions and sets everyone on fire*

Wild Onions: AHHHH!!! X_X
Hell Wyrm: That...was... odd o.O
Lindwyrm: Great! Warm food!

*Tiamat and Lindwyrm eat a bunch of them*

Hell Wyrm: I seem to recall that eating Wild Onions having a euphoric effect on the mind. o.o
Tiamat: Really? I don't fee~ Whoa. o_O
Lindwyrm: I know! Everything is so... significant! @_@

*both of them collapse*

Lindwyrm: Hehe! @_@
Tiamat: Whoa! CUZ! CUZ! This is so weird! @_@
Lindwyrm: Wut? o_@
Tiamat: I'M A DRAGON!
Lindwyrm: Wha??
Tiamat: I'M A DRAGON!
Lindwyrm: What the hel~ OH SNAP! I'M A DRAGON TOO! DAAAAMN! @_@
Tiamat: HOLY CRAP! WE'RE BOTH DRAGONS!
Behemoth King: What's going on h~
Lindwyrm: GET BACK! GET THE **** BACK OR I'LL SET YOU ON FYAH WITH MAH BREATH!
Behemoth King: You don't breathe fire. >.>
Lindwyrm: YES THE **** I DO! DO YAH KNOW WHY?!?!?
Tiamat: BECAUSE WE'RE DRAGONNNNNZ!
Lindwyrm: Wait. We are? OH ****, WE ARE! @_@
Tiamat: PHERE ME! I'M MA SECKSIE DRAGON! @_@
Behemoth King: I gotta watch you two before you decide to do something "dragony" >.>

*Meanwhile, the other three listen in on a sermon at the Mt. Bur-Omisace Church*

Hell Wyrm: Hey, didn't that priest kick your ass and seal you up in a mountain somewhere? XD
Fafnir: Shut up. He cheated >.>
Yiazmat: He must have "cheated" when he was dodging your attacks and Thundaga'ing you into oblivion. :P
Fafnir: How can such an old guy do such a thing? It does not make sense! D:
Gran Kiltias: ...May the God of Light bless you all. Faram.
Hell Wyrm: If only they realized how much of an idiot the "God of Light" is. >.>
Yiazmat: At least I'm not PURE EBIL! *points a finger at Hell Wyrm* EBIL! >_O
Fafnir: I'm sick of this. Lets get back to the others >.>

Lindwyrm: Oooh! Tia, lookz at all teh pritty curors :3!
Tiamat: Wheeeeeeee!!!! OMG! I HAVE A DISCOVERY! I AM A DRAGON!
Lindwyrm: Oh. My. God. NO ****ing WAY!

*Continues like this for hours*

Behemoth King (Thinking): I wish I could kill myself right about now.

*1 hour later*

Yiazmat: What did we miss?
Hell Wyrm: By the looks of those two, not much.
Fafnir: Gah. Someone go smack some sense into them?
Hell Wyrm: How?
Yiazmat: Like this? *Deathstrike*
Lindwyrm: X_x
Tiamat: x_X
Hell Wyrm: *revives* No, you idiot.
Lindwyrm: Huh? What just happened?
Tiamat: My head hurts...
Fafnir: You ate some Wild Onions. That has a wei.... Oh bother.

*Lindwyrm and Tiamat eat some more Wild Onions*

Yiazmat:... *Deathstrike*
Hell Wyrm: *Revives* AND STOP EATING THOSE *Bleep* WILD ONIONS. THEY MAKE YOU TRIPPY!
Lindwyrm: Ok, ok... :( Stop being so mean.
Tiamat: Hey, look what I can do! *Does a barrel roll*
Behemoth King: Well, if you can do a barrel roll, I can shot web! *Tries to shoot web, he craps himself*
Hell Wyrm: I'm not related to him.
Lindwyrm: Neither am I.
Yiazmat: I can't believe he's a god.

Fafnir: You're not going to go into my home stoned. -_-
Tiamat: The worst has blown over. I can stand now. o.O
Lindwyrm: *Bleep*. That was... odd. >_<

*cue the wyrmy party walking through the Icebound Flow*

Hell Wyrm: Ugh. Blizzards -_-
Fafnir: This is actually good weather.
Tiamat: ... Shut up -_-X
Behemoth King: Look over there! A Leshach Entite!

*starts running towards it*

Leshach Entite: So how's the weather today?
Baritine Croc: o_o?
Leshach Entite: I know! Doesn't it feel good?
Baritine Croc: O_O;; *runs away*
Leshach Entite: Where are you going? *notices the large shadow* ._.
Behemoth King: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM! *blows out ice* Ah! Leshach! The Freshmaker! :D
Hell Wyrm: I can't believe you eat those. I can't even see when I bite one of those -_-
Lindwyrm: Can we go now? It's really cold out here in this BLIZZARD!

*the wyrmy party moves into the Karydine Glacier*

Fafnir: Watch your step here.
Tiamat: Why? o.O
Fafnir: Because the ice won't support your weight.
Tiamat: You calling me fat? >:O
Fafnir: NO! It's just that we are, you know, giant wyrms. -_-

*Hell Wyrm falls through the ice*

Hell Wyrm: AHHHHHHH!
Fafnir: See?
Hell Wyrm: SOMEONE GET ME OUT! D:<

*they pull him out of the ice*

Hell Wyrm: Da-da-*Bleep*, th-th-th-that's co-co-cold! >_<
Fafnir: You'll live -_-

*the party moves into the Silverflow's End*

Fafnir: We're here!
Hell Wyrm: S-s-so, wh-where iz-is the en-tr-tr-trance? >_<
Fafnir: Over there. It's blocked by rocks. Someone help me move them.

*after the rocks have been moved*

Yiazmat: Those are some weird markings along the wall. o.O
Fafnir: I had to make crevices so the things sticking out of my back won't rub against the wall -_-
Yiazmat: Whatever. Are we going in or not?
Hell Wyrm: Ne-ne-need he-heat! >_<

Fafnir: Make yourselves at home.
Yiazmat: Oh my me! Is that caviar?
Fafnir: Yup. Harvested fresh from the sturgeon that somehow manage to swim up the river.
Hell Wyrm: Oh. My. God..... THIS FEELS SO *Bleep* GOOD :D
Behemoth King: What is it?
Hell Wyrm: It's... a giant...
Behemoth King: Yes?
Hell Wyrm: HOT TUB OF FIREWHISKEY!
Yiazmat: Yeah, I'm joining you.



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2008, 10:53:10 PM »
*Meanwhile*

Montblanc: *Thinking* I've been staring at this door for quite a long time, kupo. Maybe I should change my pants.

*Meanwhile still*

Vayne: They're my concubines.
Larsa: ...
Vayne: Alright, they aren't my concubines.
Larsa: Then what are they?
Vayne: They're your concubines.
Larsa: ... I'm a minor you idiot.
Vayne: Then they aren't your concubines. They're... they're... Vaan's concubines.
Larsa: Oh, okay, now that makes sense.

*cue Montblanc... staring at the door.*

Montblanc: ...

*the door opens*

Montblanc: HAHA! I knew that if I stared at the door long enough kupo, it will open! I am Moogle Chuck Norris!

*a Zombie Warlock runs in and punches him in the face*

Montblanc: *covers his nose OW KUPO! >_<
Zombie Warlock: YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D! :O

*runs away*

Montblanc: WTF? O_O

*Vayne and Larsa...*

Vayne: So... know any good contractors that could fix the pool, brah?
Larsa: Uh, no? >.>
Vayne: *sigh* If you want the job done right, you do it yourself...
Larsa: Hmm?
Vayne: IT'S TIME FOR MR. AWESOME! >:D *tears off his shirt and puts on Hermes Sandals*
Larsa: Since when did you have a six-pack? o.O
Vayne: Since I was born, little bro. Move aside. *runs around at high speed with materials and begins fixing the pool*
Larsa: You need to stop blending nethicite with all of your equipment, Vayne >.>
Vayne: Why? If I didn't we'd still be stuck in the Barheim Passage.
Larsa: True...

*and the main party...*

Ashe: What do you suppose we do?
Balthier: I don't know. Throw bombs at Vaan and watch him dance?
Vaan: What? O_O
Basch: I like that idea! *takes out a Caldera*

*the rest of the party takes out Calderas* >:D

Vaan: OH YEAH? THIS BISHIE AIN'T TAKING IT NO MORE! >:O *puts on Battle Harness*

*the party throws bombs and Vaan counters everyone with flying Bruce Lee kicks from 20 feet away*

Vaan: BAM ******-*******! >:O

*the party lies on the ground with their faces covered*

Balthier: I forgot he had the Battle Harness >_<
Basch: Who gave him the Genji Armor? Ow...
Penelo: Why did you kick me Vaan? TT_TT
Vaan: VAAN LIKES HIS WOMEN QUIET SO SHUT YO MOUTH!
Penelo: What did you say?!? *Fomalhauts him in the chest and sends him flying*
Fran: I WANT HIM DEAD! >:O *she runs after him*
Penelo: I GOT THE GUN! WAIT FOR ME! *runs after Fran*
Ashe: DIBS ON HIS FACE! *runs with Penelo*

Balthier: Shall we have a moment of silence for our soon-to-be fallen comrade?
Basch: No. >.>

*now for the main party*

Fafnir: Don't drink all of my whiskey! I had to import that. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Mmm... Warm. :D
Yiazmat: How is this place warm when outside is like 100 below zero?
Fafnir: Underground springs :3
Yiazmat: Nice. Where's Barney?
Fafnir: Outside. Talking with this Yeti >.>
Lindwyrm: ZzZzZzZz...I would like some fried chocobo... thanks... ZzZzZz...
Tiamat: snnnnnoooooaaaaarrr... *drool*
Fafnir: Hey! You've been in sewage! Get off my bed and take a bath! *kicks them both*

*They twitch and snore louder*

Fafnir: Ugh. *facepalm* -_-

Montblanc: *Thinking* *Bleep* that Ashton Kutcher. He needs to have his ass beat to teach him a lesson. *End thought* Hey Ashton!
Zombie Warlock: ? *Runs back*
Montblanc: *Takes out a Sweep* I have a little gift for you...

*Meanwhile, with the wyrm team*

Fafnir: *Bleep*, do I have to do it the easy way?
Yiazmat: Easy way?
Fafnir: *Nukes Tiamat and Lindwyrm with Shock*
Lindwyrm: D: Hey! What was- *Silence'd*
Tiamat: D: *Silence'd*
Fafnir: Get the **** off my bed, and take a mother ****ing bath.
Tiamat: D:
Lindwyrm: D:
Fafnir: Go bathe. The hot springs are out back.
Tiamat: ;) *Grabs her wyrmkini, and seduces Hell Wyrm*
Lindwyrm: ;) *Grabs her wyrmkini, and seduces Yiazmat*
Hell Wyrm: *Looks down* Uhm, it'll just be a minute...
Yiazmat: *Looks down* Same here...

*Meanwhile*

Fafnir: Hey Behemoth King, are you coming in for di----OH MY GOD! *Covers eyes* GET A ****ING ROOM IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO THAT!

Yiazmat: I think I'm going to be staying in here for a while. o_o
Hell Wyrm: Same here o_o
Yiazmat: So you have a~
Hell Wyrm: Yeah I do. Do you?
Yiazmat: Yeah. Lindwyrm is male right?
Hell Wyrm: I believe so. o_o
Yiazmat: So why did he have a th~
Hell Wyrm: I don't know.
Yiazmat: You were looking at~
Hell Wyrm: Tiamat. You?
Yiazmat: Same. o_o

*awkward silence*

Yiazmat: Is Lindwyrm~
Hell Wyrm: Well, I saw him with a female Shield Wyrm a few days ago. o_o
Yiazmat: Okay... is he~
Hell Wyrm: I asked him that when he was painting his claws and he said no >.>
Yiazmat: So its~
Hell Wyrm: Drugs. Blame the ****ing drugs. o_o
Yiazmat: Do you still have a~
Hell Wyrm: I don't know. Lemme check. *checks* Yep. o_o
Yiazmat: I do too o_o
Hell Wyrm: So how long are we going to stay here?
Yiazmat: Until it goes away. Or until I~
Hell Wyrm: Shut up. Just shut the **** up. It's weird enough as it is, I don't need you making it worse. >.>
Yiazmat: So if we are two males with~
Hell Wyrm: No. We are not~
Yiazmat: Just making sure o_o
Hell Wyrm: *checks again* It's gone now. If you will excuse me...
Yiazmat: Hmm?

*Hell Wyrm gets out of the Firewhisky tub*

Hell Wyrm: *charges* RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! >:O
Yiazmat: Wait fo~ *stops* Never mind. I'll stay here a little longer v_v

*meanwhile*

Lindwyrm: Wishy-washy-wishy-washy. ^_^
Hell Wyrm: *still charging* ...AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Lindwyrm: What the~ O_O

*Hell Wyrm impales Lindwyrm with his horn*

Lindwyrm: X_X
Hell Wyrm: You don't moon the King of Hell and get away with it! >:(

*walks back into the cave with Lindwyrm's corpse still on his horn*

Hell Wyrm: You. Me. We never speak of this again.
Yiazmat: ...you didn't need to kill him.
Hell Wyrm: Yes I did. He mooned me >.>
Yiazmat: Which gave you a~
Hell Wyrm: Shut it. You going to get out of there? -_-
Yiazmat: Yeah, I'm finished.
Hell Wyrm: Finished? What do you mean fi~ Oh. Ohh... EWWWWW! That's Fafnir's pool, man!
Yiazmat: XD

Fafnir: Ugh... I never want to see anything like tha... OH MY GOD! MY POOL! YOU ********** IN MY POOL?!
Yiazmat: I'm sorry... ._.
*Hell Wyrm explains the situation*
Fafnir: Oh. By the way, you do know that Lindwyrm could change his/her gender right?
Hell Wyrm: *Investigates* Oh, wow. That's... special... *Brings Lindwyrm back to life*
Yiazmat: Ok, now that I am no longer ashamed of myself for that (not as much anyway) *goes back to where Tiamat is*
Hell Wyrm: HEY, YOU *Bleep*, SHE'S MINE! *LEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JENKINS*
Fafnir: Does this always have to happen around me? *Removes Yiazmat's semen from the tub using Shock* And it splats all over the floor... *Mops*

Fafnir: This could only happen to me -_-
Hell Wyrm: Well my house was raided by Moogles, set on fire, and had blood and guts all over the place. This is nothing.
Fafnir: Well, do you mind Waterga'ing this stuff away? -_-
Hell Wyrm: *waterga* What was Barney doing outside?
Fafnir: Something no creature should ever see.
Hell Wyrm: Try me >.>
Fafnir: Apparently, that Yeti outside is a pimp.
Hell Wyrm: Really?
Fafnir: And Behemoth King bought some escorts and they're getting it on outside.
Hell Wyrm: What kind of escorts?...
Fafnir: What's his first name? -_-
Hell Wyrm: Okay....I didn't need that mental image >_<
Fafnir: I want to gouge my eyes out -_-
Hell Wyrm: So is that Yeti still outside?
Fafnir: I ate him.
Hell Wyrm: Oh. That's disappointing.
Fafnir: What did you want to do? -_-
Hell Wyrm: Kill some escorts and have some steak for dinner. I'm hungry.
Yiazmat: WHO SAID STEAK? O_O

Fafnir: I did. It's prepared using your secret recipe.
Yiazmat: YESSSSSSSSSS!
Hell Wyrm: What IS his secret recipe?
Lindwyrm: If he told you, it wouldn't be a secret, now would it? ;)
Tiamat: Yeah, Helen, don't be stupid.
Hell Wyrm: Don't call me Helen if yo---
*Tiamat uses Smexy Wink*
Hell Wyrm: *looks down* Excuse me *leaves the room*

*Five minutes later*

Hell Wyrm: Ok, so, is dinner ready?
Behemoth King: Yesh. Took you long enough. Behe---I mean I am hungry!

*Everyone begins eating*

Behemoth King: Hey, what is this meat? It's tender, juicy, and quite delicious.
Fafnir: Yiazmat... Should I tell him?
Yiazmat: Uh... Might as well...
Fafnir: It's steak, that's been marinated in blood (crap, forgot which enemy >_<), and smoked in Aeronite fumes.
Behemoth King: Yes, yes... But what Kind of steak?
Fafnir: It's....

Yiazmat: Just tell him >.>
Fafnir: It's Behemoth.
Behemoth King: What? O_O
Fafnir: Behemoths. You were "tenderizing" them my front yard like an hour ago. -_-
Behemoth King: *spits it out* What the hell! You had me eat my brethren? D:
Fafnir: Yeah. They were cheap. Anyway, why do you have a problem with eating them? It's not like you are a Behemoth. >.>
Behemoth King: Then why is my first name Behemoth, HUH?
Fafnir: I don't know. Do you know? >.>
Behemoth King: ...Actually I don't. o.O
Yiazmat: You are a Behemoth. And a Wyrm.
Behemoth King: ...Wut? o_O
Yiazmat: *sigh* *puts down steak* It's about time you knew. *takes a deep breath* You tell him Hell Wyrm >.>
Hell Wyrm: *chokes on steak* What? o_O
Yiazmat: Tell him. He needs to know.
Hell Wyrm: No. *chews on steak* >:(
Yiazmat: Don't make me fart on your steak. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Alright alright! *Bleep*! Disturb my dinner, will you?
Behemoth King: ...Whats going on?
Hell Wyrm: *puts a foot on Behemoth King's shoulder* Barney. I am your father.

*everyone suddenly stops eating*

Tiamat: ...What? O_O
Lindwyrm: That's a surprise O_O
Fafnir: Whoa. ._.
Behemoth King: No way. *pushes Hell Wyrm away*
Hell Wyrm: What the hell? Is that how you treat your~
Behemoth King: NO ****ING WAY! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT YOU ARE MY FATHER! >:O
Hell Wyrm: Well guess what? You are. You are my illegitimate son >.>
Yiazmat: Tell him who his mommy is. XD
Hell Wyrm: Shut up. This is serious.
Behemoth King: WHO'S MAH MOMMEH? >:O
Hell Wyrm: If you must know... Humbaba Mistant >.>
Fafnir: WHOA! You? And Humbaba Mistant? O_O *runs outside and pukes*
Yiazmat: *laughing uncontrollably on the floor* XD

*Hell Wyrm opens a portal and kicks Yiazmat into it. A loud splash is heard a few seconds later*

Hell Wyrm: Anyway, I hosted this party in my house back in like the Stone Ages. Yiazmat had brought this awesome liquor. After 6 hours of drinking games and partying, I was ****faced beyond recognition. Yiazmat brought over the finest specimen of Wyrm booty that I have ever seen.

I was like "Hey baby, me and you are going to create the sexiest offspring this side of Ivalice."
She was like "O RLY?", she was wasted too.
I was like "**** yeah. I'll show you what it's like to mate with a Wyrm God." >:)

*Fafnir and Yiazmat walk in through their respective exits just in time to witness Hell Wyrm making obscene gestures*

Fafnir: Suddenly, I'm not hungry anymore. ._.
Behemoth King: O_O...
Hell Wyrm: When I woke up the next morning, I turned over to find out that I wasn't sleeping with premium booty. The first thing that came to mind was "Tell me we didn't do it -_-".

I was about to haul ass out of there but it was my house and she woke up like a second later. She said the same thing I was thinking and we agreed not to talk about it. Then a year later, she came by my house, kicked my ass with that giant beatstick of hers, and dropped you off. You tore that thing up when you came out, I don't think she can have kids anymore >.>

Everyone: ... O_O
Fafnir: ...Well that explains the mane and goatee but why doesn't he look like you?
Hell Wyrm: Are you kidding me? You can't replicate perfection. :P
Yiazmat: Thats right, you can't replicate perfection. That's why I'm awesome and you are pure EVIL! xD
Hell Wyrm: Get over yourself. I'm an exact clone of you. I just look cooler, that's all.

*they get into an argument about who is more awesome*

Behemoth King: HEY!

*they stop*

Behemoth King: Where is she now?
Hell Wyrm: Last I checked, she was living in the Necrohol. That place was cleared out by that party though. I'm not sure if she's alive >.>
Behemoth King: ...

Yiazmat: *plays Xenosaga III*
Hell Wyrm: Yo, Cinderella, what are you playin?
Yiazmat: Shh, I'm pwning in Xenosaga III.
Hell Wyrm: *Bleep*, KOS-MOS is hawt....
Yiazmat: You know she's an android, right?
Hell Wyrm: *shameful silence* What about that MOMO?
Yiazmat: Pedo. She's twelve. And stays that way forever!
Hell Wyrm: *shameful silence* Shion?
Yiazmat: She's got Kevin. And/or Allen.
Hell Wyrm: ...Miyuki?
Yiazmat: Togashi <3 her. Besides, why are you attracted to them? THEY'RE ****ING VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS!
Hell Wyrm: *Attempts seppuku* ****! I forgot I'm death proof...

Hell Wyrm: Wait... aren't we video game characters? I don't think we are even characters! O_O
Yiazmat: Just... shut up -_-
Hell Wyrm: And how did you get a PS2 down here, let alone power it and play it?
Yiazmat: Do you see that giant thing protruding from your face? That's a source of electricity. I just bit off the controller and played it through the wire. I found the PS2 and Xenosaga III stuck between my claws when we fell from the Palace.
Hell Wyrm: Huh. How about that. How is it still working? o_O
Yiazmat: If you don't shut up, I won't let you play! >:(
Hell Wyrm: *silence* ._.

Meanwhile...

Montblanc: RUN ZOMBIE RUN! HAHAHA! >:D
Zombie Warlock: Don't hurt me! *runs*

*Montblanc beats it to ash with his Sweep*

Montblanc: That's what you get for hitting me, kupo! Now that I'm out... IT'S TIME FOR MY REVENGE! Kupo. >:D

*teleports at Save Crystal to Balfonheim*

Montblanc: Now where is he, kupo? Excuse me, sir? Do you know where Nono is, kupo?
Crazy Fisherman: I LIKE FISH! :O
Montblanc: Okay...kupo. >.>
Nono: Psst, over here.
Montblanc: ?
Nono: Follow me, kupo. >.>

*He follows Nono to the outskirts of town*

Nono: I heard you were looking for me, kupo. >.>
Montblanc: I want Bombs.
Nono: I have Bombs. *pulls out a Bomb*
Bomb: RAWR! >:O
Montblanc: Good... but do you have something stronger, kupo?
Nono: How about Balloons? *pulls out a Balloon*
Balloon: RAWR! >:O
Montblanc: Stronger, kupo.
Nono: ...Grenades? *pulls out a Grenade*
Grenade: RAWR! >:O
Montblanc: Keep going.
Nono: Mom Bombs, kupo? *pulls out a Mom Bomb*
Mom Bomb: RAWR! >:O
Montblanc: The strongest you have, kupo!
Nono: The strongest? Okay, kupo, you asked for it. *pulls out a Purobolos*
Purobolos: <b>RAWR!</b> >:D
Montblanc: YES! That's what I want, kupo! I want 100! >:D
Nono: That will be 10,000 gil.
Montblanc: 10,000 gil?!?
Nono: Each, kupo.
Montblanc: These better be good >:( *pays 1,000,000 Gil*
Nono: You'll want a base for these explosives to do the most damage.
Montblanc: Ugh. What do you have, kupo? >.>
Nono: *pulls out a Pineapple* This is fine.
Montblanc: That the best?
Nono:...No, kupo. *pulls out a Matriarch Bomb* This is the good stuff.
Montblanc: I heard about this experimental bomb you made. I want it, kupo. >:D
Nono: What? You don?t want that, kupo. >.>
Montblanc: Yes I do! >:(
Nono: Alright? *pulls out Bombshell*
Bombshell: *growls and bounces back and forth in the chains* RAWR >:O
Montblanc: Yes? that?s the stuff! :D
Nono: Careful. It?ll kill you.
Montblanc: I?ll be fine. How much, kupo?
Nono: 500,000 gil.
Montblanc: This is robbery! >:( *pays 500,000 gil*
Nono: What exactly do you need these for, kupo?
Montblanc: Uhh? getting rid of a statue? a giant, chocobo-poop covered statue? shaped like a dragon >_>
Nono: Still trying to get rid of Yiazmat, kupo? -_-
Montblanc: Yes. :3
Nono: I wouldn?t waste my time.
Montblanc: Well, I wouldn?t waste my time with explosives, kupo. How did you pull those giant things out of your overalls anyway? o_O
Nono: Moogle magic of course! :P
Montblanc: Sure?

Yiazmat: MUAHAHAHA! BURNIFY THEM ALL, MOMO!
Hell Wyrm: *Bleep*, that MOMO can burnify everything.
Yiazmat: Q_Q
Hell Wyrm: WTF?!
*Tiamat walks in*
Yiazmat: WTF? HOW DID MY LITTLE TOOL OF BURNIFICATION DIE? *replays*
Tiamat: Oh, haha *points and laughs*
Yiazmat: What, Ms. Pro?
Tiamat: She was broken. Then Pellegri stabbed her with her best move. xD
Yiazmat: ... *kills Tiamat*
Hell Wyrm: What was that for?
*Game over*
Yiazmat: Q_Q
Hell Wyrm: Lemme try that Pellegri...
Yiazmat: Fine
Hell Wyrm: *Slaughters Pellegri* Nubcake.
Yiazmat: NUUUU!

*cue the two statuesque wyrms playing Xenosaga III*

Hell Wyrm: Is she the only one here?
Yiazmat: I think. Fafnir and Lindwyrm went with Behemoth King to find his mommy. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Huh. Whatever.
*GAME OVER*
Hell Wyrm: This game cheats! >:O
Yiazmat: Or you just suck. Gimme the wire >.>

*Meanwhile*

Montblanc: Where is Yiazmat anyway, kupo? I'll ask Ma'Kenroh.

*uses a Teleport Stone at the Balfonheim Save Crystal and arrives at Rabanastre*

Montblanc: Ma'Kenroh!
Ma'Kenroh: He's at Fafnir's Den in Silverflow's End.
Montblanc: What?
Ma'Kenroh: You're looking for Yiazmat, is that correct?
Montblanc: Yes. How did you know, kupo?
Ma'Kenroh: Young one. I am all knowing. And you do nothing but try and kill him, even though it's not possible. And Monid saw him walking towards Silverflow when he was tracking Trickster. >.>
Montblanc: Right... Well I have a new weapon. >:D
Ma"Kenroh: You mean those Purobolos? Be careful >.>
Montblanc: Stop that, kupo. -_-

*After an hour of chocobo riding, he arrives at Fafnir's Den.*

Montblanc: It's time for your demise! >:D

*walks in and finds them playing Xenosaga III*

Montblanc: That's... odd, kupo. At least he's distracted. Now where to place these bombs? >_>

*sees Tiamat's corpse*

Montblanc: What did they do here, kupo? Never mind. o_O

*opens up Tiamat and plants the bombs inside*

Montblanc: For the final piece... *sticks Bombshell inside*
Bombshell: RAWR! >:O
Montblanc: The fuse... *plants fuse on Bombshell's mouth* That should keep you quiet, kupo >.>
Yiazmat: *stomach gurgles* Uh oh. Something's going south. O_O *farts*
Hell Wyrm: C'mon! I'm in the middle of a boss battle here! >_<
Montblanc: *sniff* AHH! THAT'S SO PUTRID, I'M BLIND, KUPO! Dx
Yiazmat: Who's that?
Montblanc: Uh oh. *hauls ass*
Yiazmat: What are you doing here? *gets up and walks towards Montblanc... and past Tiamat...*
Montblanc: YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE! D:< *pushes trigger*

*EPIC EXPLOSION!*

Montblanc: *cough* Is he dead?

*Yiazmat lies still on the ground with a couple of Tiamat's ribs sticking out of his head and side*

(OH NOES! YIAZMAT IS DEAD!... Okay, not really :P)



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2008, 10:53:55 PM »
Montblanc: WOO! I've done it! They said it wasn't possible but I did it! *turns around and does a moogle dance*

Yiazmat: *cough* Oh man. That sucked. You okay over there? >_<
Hell Wyrm: *cough* I'm still here. What was that? >_<
Yiazmat: *pulls out the ribs* Ow. Suicide bomber?
Hell Wyrm: HOLY CRAP!
Yiazmat: What?
Hell Wyrm: AHHH! O_O;; *one of Tiamat's ribs is buried in his skull*
Yiazmat: Just pull it out. -_-
Hell Wyrm: *pulls it out* >_< Fafnir isn't going to like it when he finds out that his girlfriend decided to "decorate" with her entrails.
Yiazmat: I don~ OMFG! NO!
Hell Wyrm: What?
Yiazmat: The PS2! It's... destroyed! TT_TT
Hell Wyrm: WHAT!?!? NO!!!!! TT_TT
Montblanc: WHAT! HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?! D:<
Yiazmat: You...! YOU DESTROYED MAH PS2! >:( *throws one of the ribs at Montblanc and knocks him down with the force*
Hell Wyrm: GET HIM!
Montblanc: Ow.... Oh no ._.

*Yiazmat and Hell Wyrm beat him to death with random pieces of Tiamat and revive him. And beat him again. For an hour.*

Hell Wyrm: *drops what remains of Tiamat's spine* This isn't helping!
Yiazmat: *continues beating Montblanc's corpse with Tiamat's wing* It's helping.
Hell Wyrm: Why don't we just get a new PS2 and another copy of Xenosaga III?
Yiazmat: *drops Tiamat's battered wing* How?
Hell Wyrm: Revive him and I'll use my awesome powers of MIND CONTROL! >:D
Yiazmat: You can't do that. -_-
Hell Wyrm: O RLY? Well... I'm pure evil! I can do it!
Yiazmat: Okay... *revives Montblanc*
Montblanc: Please! No mo~ *mind-controlled* O.O *drool*
Hell Wyrm: See? :3
Yiazmat: Okay... I'll try and reassemble Tiamat while you do that... >.>
Hell Wyrm: *opens a portal to Rabanastre and makes Montblanc walk through* I believe Migelo sells video games...

*Montblanc walks into Migelo's Sundries*

Ktjn: Hello Montblanc. How can I help you, today?
Hell Wyrm: *thinking* *Bleep*. How did moogles speak again?
Montblanc: *in Hell Wyrm's voice* Hi, kupo.
Ktjn: Your voice has... changed. You want to buy anything? o_O
Montblanc: I kupo would kupo like kupo to kupo-po-po buy kupo a kupo PS2 kupo and kupo-po Xenosaga III, kupo kupo kupo.
Ktjn: What the.... Okay... *takes out a PS2 and Xenosaga III* That will be 20,000 gil. o_O
Hell Wyrm: *thinking* Oh *Bleep*. No gil ._.
Montblanc: ... *drool*
Ktjn: Are you okay?
Hell Wyrm: *thinking* What do I do? What do I do? O_O

Hell Wyrm: Oh, wait, he ALWAYS carries several firearms, and at least twenty or thirty different close-combat weapons....
Montblanc: ...*drool* GIMME THOSE, NAO! *Pulls out dual Fomalhauts (with special wyrmscale shots)*
Migelo: I thought so.... *Pulls out staff*
Montblanc: EAT LEAD! *Fires*
Migelo: Dx
Montblanc: *Steals PS2 + Xenosaga III*
Yiazmat: Wow, he actually did it.
Montblanc: *Hands over PS2 and game to Hell Wyrm*
Yiazmat: What's awesome is that despite everything being destroyed, the memory card is still intact O_O
Hell Wyrm: *looks around* Wow, it's actually clean O_o
Tiamat: Huh, what happened? And why is my rib sticking out of my foot?
Hell Wyrm: Blame Montblanc.
Tiamat: *Strangles montblanc with fried PS2 controller* *****!

Yiazmat: Stop strangling him >.>
Tiamat: Fine >:( *drops Montblanc*
Montblanc: *drool*
Hell Wyrm: We are done with him. Send him back.
*GAME OVER*
Hell Wyrm: WTF?
Yiazmat: *opens a portal and sends Montblanc back*
Tiamat: You mind putting my rib where it belongs? -_-
Yiazmat: Sure. *stabs Tiamat with her rib*
Tiamat: WTF?~ X_X
Yiazmat: *revives Tiamat* Oops. ._.
Tiamat: RAWR! >:O *beats Yiazmat with her neck ring*
Yiazmat: I'm sorry! Ow! >_<

*Meanwhile... cue the other wyrmy party walking through Golmore*

Fafnir: Where to now, Barney?
Behemoth King: We have to cut through Ozmone Plains,Giza Plains, Estersand, Mosphoran Highwaste, Salikawood before getting to the Necrohol.
Fafnir: Oh god. -_-
Behemoth King: Lind! Stop talking to Elder Wyrm and lets go!
Lindwyrm: You keep yourself from decaying now! Bye!
Elder Wyrm: See ya later! It's been great talking to you! (*thinking* Who is that? o_O) :D

*the wyrmy party reaches Ozmone*

Lindwyrm: *stomach rumbles* I'm hungry >.>
Fafnir: I told you to eat before we left!
Lindwyrm: I did. That was 6 hours ago.
Fafnir: You fat~ *stomach rumbles* Wow. I'm hungry too. Where did BK go?
Lindwyrm: He's over there asking directions from those Zaghnals.
Fafnir: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Lindwyrm: Depends. Are you wondering how many steaks we can get out of those things? o_o
Fafnir: Hell yeah. o_o *drool*
Lindwyrm: Me too. *drool*

*they begin running towards the group of Zaghnals*

Behemoth King: Thanks for the directions.
Zaghnal: Wait. Answer me this.
Behemoth King: Hmm?
Zaghnal: So you are the *Bleep* child of a wyrm god and a humbaba? o_O
Behemoth King: Would you not say that? -_-
Zaghnal: But that's~
Other Zaghnals: RUN! O_O

*Lindwyrm and Fafnir storm the group with magicks*

Zaghnals: X_X
Lindwyrm: Yay food! :D *eats a Zaghnal*
Fafnir: OM NOM NOM! *devours Zaghnal*
Behemoth King: WTF? You just killed my cousins!
Lindwyrm: You mean distant cousins on your mother's side *eats another Zaghnal*
Fafnir: Calm down big guy. Eat one. They taste good! :D
Behemoth King: You idiots. *stomach rumbles* O_O

*sees chocobos and uses Firaga*

Behemoth King: *takes a whiff of the awesome smell of Kentucky-Firaga'd Chocobo* :D
Lindwyrm: Save some for me! :D

Behemoth King: I refuse to eat my cousins. *rumble*
Lindwyrm: -_-;; *Smacks Behemoth King on the back of teh head, and shoves a steak in his mouth*
Behemoth King: O_O This is delicious.
Lindwyrm: I told you.
Fafnir: Alright...
*Everyone eats their fill*
Behemoth King: March! March March March!
*Behemoth King pinches teh Linda*
Lindwyrm: What was that for?
Behemoth King: Not wearing green.
Lindwyrm: ... What about Helen?
Fafnir: Nopes, I'm wearing green.
Lindwyrm: D:

*cue Frank, Barney, and Link (o.O?) arriving at Giza*

Behemoth King: *sigh* It's raining. That's going to be a big problem...
Lindwyrm: Are you kidding? I come out to play in the rain. It's awesome! :P
Behemoth King: I don't think you ever played in the rain with a giant lightning rod close by. >.>
Lindwyrm: What are you t~
*Lightning strikes Fafnir's giant umm... sword thingy?*
Fafnir: AHH! Dx
Lindwyrm: Dx
Behemoth King: Why didn't you take those out?!? Dx

*cue the other three being bored as they fail at Xenosaga III*

*GAME OVER*
Tiamat: That's your 50th game over Hell Wyrm, lets do something else. >.>
Hell Wyrm: I'm about to crush this cheating box! >:O
Yiazmat: Don't do that. It's boring in this frozen wasteland.
Hell Wyrm: Well, what do you want to do?
Yiazmat: Hmm... Fafnir has that giant case of Guiness chilling outside. We also have 3 giant rings courtesy of Tiamat. All we need to do is carve giant cups for the beer and we can play quarters!
Hell Wyrm: BRIILIANT! :D

*they gather the supplies*

Yiazmat: Just bounce the ring into that giant ice glass and you can force someone else to drink.
Tiamat: That's it? That's no fun -_-
Yiazmat: Okay...you have to drink if you tell someone to drink, point at them, or talk about yourself. If you say a swear word, you have to drink from the giant tub of bathwater.
Hell Wyrm: Fine. Is it my turn?
Yiazmat: Drink up idiot.
Hell Wyrm: Well now you have to drink. *chugs glass*
Yiazmat: *chugs another glass* Drink >.>
Hell Wyrm: *chugs another glass* Grr... >.>
Yiazmat: *chugs glass* I shouldn't have made these rules >.>
Hell Wyrm: Push another one down big boy!
Yiazmat: *chugs another glass* You too. >.>
Tiamat: What about me? o_O
Yiazmat: Oh! Now you drink, Tiamat :P
Tiamat: *chugs glass* What about you?
Yiazmat: What? Ugh... *chugs another glass*
Hell Wyrm: You drink another one Tiamat~ Oh man. You know what? HELL WYRM! HELL WYRM! HELL WYRM! *takes four glasses and drinks them all*
Tiamat: Why the **** did you do that? o_O
Yiazmat: UH OH! *slightly drunk* You said a swear word!

*the other two shove her face in the tub*

Tiamat: EWW! THAT'S PUTRID! Dx
Yiazmat: *points and laughs* xD
Hell Wyrm: Drink another one Cinderella! :P

*this leads on for a day until the booze is gone* >.>

Yiazmat: *seriously drunk* Iz...iz.... there any moar beer?
Hell Wyrm: *face down in the snow* I dunno. Amazing how we didn't actually play quarters though. You have to drink another one too. @_@
Tiamat: You t~ O_O *runs in a jagged line towards the exit before puking 10 meters from where she was*
Hell Wyrm/ Yiazmat: HAHAHA~ O_O *pukes*

Hell Wyrm: ZzZzzZ
Yiazmat: (hehe, good thing I can purge booze easily from mah body)
Tiamat: ZzzZzzZ
Yiazmat: OMFG! BIG SECKS PARTEH! WAKEY WAKEY!
Hell Wyrm: *Throws a cleaver at Yiazmat* Shut up, douche.
Tiamat: Yeah, we sleepz here.
Yiazmat: *Goes to play Xenosaga III*
Tiamat: If you're going to fail at Xenosaga, then turn down the volume... -.-

*Meanwhile*

*Zap*
Fafnir: ****! Again?!
Lindwyrm: -.- *Throws Fafnir into the clouds*
Fafnir: Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiii------------------------------
Behemoth King: What was that for?!
Lindwyrm: Because he fails. Let's go before I decide to change my mind and go back.
Behemoth King: Ok, ok...

*Meanwhile*

Albel: I'm still here?

*cue the traveling wyrms arriving at the Westersand*

Fafnir: Ohhh... >_<
Lindwyrm: Here he is. xD
Fafnir: ... *pulls out the giant piece of steel in his back and shanks Lindwyrm*
Lindwyrm: X_X
Behemoth King: You immature idiot. -_- *revives Lindwyrm*
Fafnir: The little *Bleep* flung me! I don't even know how he did it!
Lindwyrm: >_<
Fafnir: Eww... Sandstorm >.>

*a very strong sandstorm rages*

Lindwyrm: I can't see! The sand keeps on getting in my eyes >_<
Behemoth King: Use your wings >.>
Lindwyrm: Oh yeah. *covers face with wings* That's better :P
Fafnir: Lucky *Bleep* >_<

*they stumble through the Westersand until...*

Behemoth King: Where are we? >_<
Lindwyrm: I was following you! I thought you knew! D:
Fafnir: Wait, so we're LOST?
Earth Tyrant: RAWR! >:O
Lindwyrm: STHU~ OMFG! IT'S HUGE! O_O;;
Fafnir: DAAAAAMMMMNN! What have you been eating? O_O;;
Behemoth King: That's one big mother~!
Fafnir: Shut yo' mouth >.>

*It bites Lindwyrm at the neck and begins flinging him around*

Lindwyrm: AHHH! HELP! D:<
Fafnir: I'LL SAVE YOU! >:O

*pulls out the giant piece of steel in his back and whacks Earth Tyrant with it*

Earth Tyrant: RAWR! D:<
Lindwyrm: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. >_<
Fafnir: Barney! It's trying to kill us! Help! D:
Behemoth King: Is it related to us? o_O
Fafnir: Well if it is, someone seriously wronged him. O_O

*it tries to bite Behemoth King but he moves out of the way*

Behemoth King: OH... HELL NO! Did he just try to bite me? I KNOW he didn't just try to bite me! GET HIM BOYS! >:O

*super beatdown on the large mother~*

Albel: Shut yo' mouth!

*the sky clears up*

Earth Tyrant: X_X
Fafnir: Finally! No more sandstorm! :D
Lindwyrm: What should we do about the body?
Behemoth King: Eat it?
Lindwyrm: Great idea! You bit me so I'MA BITE JOO! >:O
Fafnir: We will probably double our weight by the time we get back >.>
Behemoth King: ...So? o_O

Albel: THAT'S RIGHT, RUN MOTHER****ERS, RUN!
Lindwyrm: Hey, wait a sec..

*Smacks Albel with Fafnir's sword*

Albel: x_X
Lindwyrm: :D

*cue the party walking through the Estersand*

Fafnir: I didn't think we could eat the entire *Bleep* thing. o_O
Lindwyrm: We didn't. BK did >.>
Behemoth King: Can't... move. Too...full! Dx
Lindwyrm: Fat ass. -_-

*they drag him toward the border of the Mosphoran Highwaste*

Behemoth King: ZzZzZz...
Fafnir: He is not sleeping. -_-
Lindwyrm: What the... wake up! *kicks BK*
Behemoth King: ZzZzZz...
Fafnir: He's out cold.
Lindwyrm: Not for long.... >:D *flies up to a nearby cliff*
Fafnir: This will be good. xD
Lindwyrm: *jumps off the cliff* SWANTON BOMB! >:D

*lands on BK with an Epic thud*

Behemoth King: AHH! *pukes* Dx
Fafnir: ROFL XD
Lindwyrm: I... I think I broke something... totally worth it! xD Ow. xD

Behemoth King: *Fart* Uh, I think this is why you don't eat earth affinity dinosaurs. *Diarrhea*

*meanwhile*

Hell Wyrm: *Dies again in FFXII*
Yiazmat: *Dies also*
Tiamat: My god, you two fail at video games.
Yiazmat: Show us how it's done then. Miss I can play games better than those two!
Tiamat: *Shoves Yiazmat's money where his mouth is* There. I did.
Hell Wyrm: *Jaw drop* How the **** did you do that?!
Tiamat: Simple, I moved Penelo's cure gambit ABOVE her attack gambit. You guys, PHAIL.
Hell Wyrm: :'(
Yiazmat: Meany.

*meanwhile*

Montblanc: *drfoooolz*

*cue Team F.L.(a)B. King traveling through the Highwaste*

Fafnir: That's a long drop O.O
Lindwyrm: So don't fall off.
Fafnir: Easy for you to say. You have wings. -_-
Behemoth King: Just watch where you step. We are almost at the bridge to the Promised Land. :D
Fafnir: You mean the Salikawood?
Behemoth King: Yeah :P

*they reach the bridge*

Fafnir: Is that the ONLY way to the Salikawood?
Behemoth King: Yeah. ._.
Fafnir: *pushes the wooden bridge which rocks violently* That's a rickity frickin bridge O_O
Behemoth King: Why don't they make these things wyrm-friendly? D:
Lindwyrm: *already on the other side* C'mon slowpokes! :O
Fafnir: I'm eating his wings when we get over there. -_-
Behemoth King: I'll go first. o.o;;

*runs across and knocks out all of the planks in the process*

Behemoth King: I LIVE! :D
Fafnir: WTF? You knocked out all of the planks! >:O
Behemoth King: Oops. ^_^;;
Lindwyrm: Just cut the rope and swing to the other side!
Fafnir: It looks like I have no choice D:

*cuts the rope and swings across*

Fafnir: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! D:<

*slams against the cliff*

Lindwyrm: That look like it hurt. o_o
Behemoth King: You still there Faf?
Fafnir: YES! NOW PULL ME UP *Bleep* IT! D:<

*they pull him up*

Fafnir: OMG! SOLID GROUND! I'll never leave you! >_<
Lindwyrm: Get a grip man >.>

*Fafnir throws him off the cliff*

Lindwyrm: AHHH! D:<
Fafnir: Take that fly boy! :P

*Lindwyrm flies back up*

Lindwyrm: Are you done? :P
Fafnir: ...BLAST! D:<
Behemoth King: Stop that bickering! We are almost there... o_o

*they advance into the Salikawood*

*meanwhile... cue Team H.Y.W.T. (Hell. Yiazmat. Wyrm. Tiamat, pronounced Hawt :P) playing FFXII for some odd reason*

Hell Wyrm: Hehe! Hey Tiamat! Come here! I'm fighting you right now! :D
Tiamat: ORLY? :O
Hell Wyrm: Yeah! Watch me kick your butt! >:)
*GAME OVER*
Hell Wyrm: WTF!
Tiamat: You sure kicked my butt. XD
Hell Wyrm: You can't use Disablega! >:(
Tiamat: Uhh, yeah. I can. Face it. You suck. :P

*kills Tiamat 4reelz*

Tiamat: X_X
Yiazmat: *walks into the room* Why is she dead? o_O
Hell Wyrm: I can't beat her in the game so I killed her in real life.
Yiazmat: You're fighting Tia? Lemme play! :O

Yiazmat: *resses Tiamat* Lemme try you nub.
Hell Wyrm: Fine, but if you pfail, we'll see how Ms. Pro does >:)
*Tiamat has 1 HP left*
*Tiamat casts Disablega (how is that different from disable, besides the ga?)*
Yiazmat: ...
FFXII: GAME ****ING OVER!
Yiazmat: Try it, Ms. Pro.
Tiamat: Scooch over, noobs.
*Insert Victory theme here*
Yiazmat: ...
Hell Wyrm: ...
Tiamat: Nu-----

*Insert sudden change of screens to Team F. L. A. B.*

Behemoth King: I just have this feeling that your house is going to be ****ed up when we get back, Fafnir.
Fafnir: I regretted following you since I realized that those three idiots were going to be there.
Behemoth King: Hey, it's the Necrohol.
Lindwyrm: Eww, it sure smells like dead ass.
Behemoth King: Hey, at least you didn't have to smell your breath all night. I nearly suffocated.
Fafnir: How bad is it?
Behemoth King: Well, let's just say this. It's worse than shoving your head into Yiazmat's ass after he had Mexican.
Fafnir: Oh, wow...
Lindwyrm: Are you done abusing my breath? Because these Baknamies are staring at us funny, like they want to kill us or something.
Behemoth King: *Blizzaga* What now? *Holds Linda like a minigun*
Lindwyrm: HEY!
Behemoth King: Not only does your breath smell, but it's freezing cold. It'll work nicely against these ice weak monkeys....

*cue team F.L.A.B at the Necrohol*

Lindwyrm: I'd like to buy 10 ethers.
Baknamy: Here you go. Anything else?
Lindwyrm: You guys want anything?
Behemoth King: Yeah. Buy Scathe! :D
Lindwyrm: Lemme get Scathe.
Baknamy: *passes Lin a scroll* That will be 20,000 gil.
Lindwyrm: K. Here you go. *casts Scathe* RUN! D:<
Baknamy: Ow! GIT'EM BOYS! >:O
Team F.L.A.B: AHHHH!!! D:<

*gets chased through the Necrohol.*

Baknamies: YOU GET BACK HERE NAOW!
Fafnir: Quick! In that room!

*they duck into a nearby room*

*the Baknamies run by*

Lindwyrm: We're safe for now. o_o;;
Fafnir: Why did you rob that merchant? >:(
Lindwyrm: Uhh... because I felt like it?
Behemoth King: Uh... what is this place?
Fafnir: *looks at map* According to this... the Cloister of Reason.
Behemoth King: WHAT? The Cloister of Reason? We better get the **** out!
Fafnir: Why?
Lindwyrm: Hey! Look at that cute bunny over there!
Fury: *takes a long drink from his bottle of wine* WHO YOU CALLIN' CUTE? GET AWAY FROM MAH BOOZE! >:O * Breaks the bottle on his head and lunges at Lin*
Lindwyrm: AHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! D:<

*Behemoth King casts Scathe*

Behemoth King: RUN FOR YOUR INSIGNIFICANT LIVES! D:<
Fury: YOU GET BACK HERE AND LEMME KICK YOUR ASS! >:O

*Fury chases after them with a pair of broken bottles*

Fafnir: There's another room in there!

*they dive into another room as Fury runs by yelling drunken obscenities*

Lindwyrm: Holy crap that bunny is a mean drunk! O.O;;
Fafnir: He's as bad as Hell Wyrm! D:
Behemoth King: What is this place?
Fafnir: It's supposed to be a treasure room but all I found was rust and this silver stick.
Behemoth King: Gimme that. *puts it in his mouth* I look badass with this toothpick don't I? :3
Fafnir: Ye...no. -_-

*Cue team H. Y. W. T., who is still failing at games except for Tiamat*

Hell Wyrm: Haha, you died again, super noob.
Tiamat: Uh, Helly, look out!
*Hell Wyrm gets hit by Yiazmat's rocket*
Hell Wyrm: WTF?!
Yiazmat: Stand in my line of fire, you idiot..
Tiamat: Gimme the *Bleep* controller you idiots.
*Tiamat beats Halo III on mythic in less than 3 minutes*
Yiazmat: You suck.
Tiamat: *flipping teh burdie*

*LOL TEAM H.Y.W.T*

Hell Wyrm: Where did the X-Box come from? o_O
Tiamat: Found it in Faf's room.
Hell Wyrm: That's bizarre. How does he power it?
Tiamat: Probably uses Shock. *pwns Yiazmat in Multiplayer* How did that taste? Did it taste good? Mmm mmm mmm. :P

*Yiazmat tears her heart out*

Tiamat: X_X
Yiazmat: FATALITY! :O
Hell Wyrm: Okay... you need to stop playing video games >.>



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2008, 10:54:31 PM »
*cue Team F.L.A.B in the NoN*

Fafnir: Next right is the Cloister of Solace where Humbaba Mistant is located.
Lindwyrm: So... we get to meet your mommy. Is she hot? :3
Behemoth King: *smacks Lindwyrm* You're an idiot. -_-
Lindwyrm: What was that for? I'm just asking if your mom is hot!
Behemoth King: *smacks Lindwyrm again* What the hell is wrong with you? Just stop talking. >.>
Fafnir: Cmon. The door's open.

*they walk inside... and find Humbaba Mistant and Catoblepas... yeah >.>*

Fafnir: OMFG! I NEED TO GOUGE MY EYES OUT! *runs outside*
Humbaba Mistant: AHH! WHO THE **** ARE YOU?
Lindwyrm: *Bleep*! YO' MOM IS SO UGLY AND BIG THAT~

*Humbaba Mistant throws her giant sword thingy at Lindwyrm and catches him between the eyes*

Lindwyrm: X_X
Behemoth King: GET AWAY FROM MAH MOM! *Om nom nom's Catoblepas in half*
Humbaba Mistant: Why did you kill my boyfriend and why are you calling me mom? I'm not your mother!
Behemoth King: Yeah you are. You disowned me when I was little! Why did you do that? TT_TT
Humbaba Mistant: That was you? I disowned you because I didn't want to spend the rest of my life raising a child with that *Bleep* Hell Wyrm! I have a life! >:(
Behemoth King: What kind of reason is that to disown your own child?!?
Humbaba Mistant: Good ones! You also screwed up my sex life and killed my boyfriend! Need more?
Behemoth King: ...

*meanwhile*

Fafnir: Why am I being constantly scarred for life when I travel with my friends? -_-

Behemoth King: *walks out covered in blood and dragging Lindwyrm's corpse* >:(
Fafnir: *Bleep*. What happened to him? o_O
Behemoth King: He got what he was asking for.
Fafnir: He asked for a huge blade to be buried in his skull? Why are you covered in blood? o_O
Behemoth King: Tied up loose ends.
Fafnir: Okay... what happened?
Behemoth King: Eviscerated my mother and her boyfriend.
Fafnir: Why?
Behemoth King: ...SHUT YOUR MOUTH OR I'LL KEEL YOU! >:(
Fafnir: Okay ._.
Behemoth King: Good. Help me get this blade out so I can revive him. We need to head back to your place. >.>

*Team F.A.T*

Lindwyrm: Ahh, does anyone have a bottle of aspirin? My head is killing me. Q_Q
Behemoth King; Shut it, or it won't be your head that's killing you.
Fafnir: Gah. I swear, if anything is messed up at home, I'm going to throw all of you into the Frozen Brook.
Behemoth King: If anyone tells my dad what happened, I'll kill them.
Fafnir: Okies, my lips are shut.
Lindwyrm: *genderbender* Like OMG OKAAAAAAAAY~ *cheerleader style* *genderbend*
Behemoth King: What the hell? Does I have to choke a *****?!
Lindwyrm: I think aspirin forces me to genderb*genderbend*end*genderbend*
Fafnir: This is going to be a LOOOOOOONG trip home -.-

*Meanwhile*

Tiamat: Wow, you guys just plain FAIL at video games. Please do the world a favor, and never play them again.
Yiazmat: Do you have to be so mean?!
Tiamat: *nags about how Yiazmat and Hellwyrm suck at video games*
Hell Wyrm: Bah, shut up, *****.

*TEAM H.Y.W.T*

Hell Wyrm: *walks out from Fafnir's room* Anyone want to play Kingdom Hearts II?
Tiamat: What? No! I can beat that game in my sleep. >.>
Yiazmat: Can you beat it while you're dead? Put it in :O
*He phails hard at Twilight Thorn*
Tiamat: My god Yiaz. USE THE TRIANGLE BUTTON! -_-
Yiazmat: Using electricity through a wire to play a video game is hard so STHU. >.>
Tiamat: Gimme that.

*one hour later and the fruity ending cutscenes play*

Yiazmat: Why do you do that?
Tiamat: Do what?
Yiazmat: Beat the game I'm trying to play in an hour.
Tiamat: I'm just awesome like that :3
Yiazmat: ... *rams her neck ring down to her forearms*
Tiamat: HEY! Get this off of me you sore loser!
Yiazmat: No. *pushes her into a corner* You're on time out. >:(
Tiamat: Oh noes! D:
Hell Wyrm: YIAZ! I'm starting a new game! Get your butt over here!
Yiazmat: WAIT FOR ME! I WANNA GET ON THE HYDRA'S BACK!
Hell Wyrm: ...That was wrong. Don't talk. Ever. >.>

*black portal opens behind them*

Saix: Oops. Wrong turn o_O

*sees Yiazmat*

Saix: *Bleep* THAT'S A LARGE MOTHER~
Xaldin: Shut yo' mouth!
Saix: What are you doing here?
Xaldin: Wrong turn. *sees Yiazmat*... you thinking what I'm thinking?
Saix: Find those fanfic writers and kill them?
Xaldin: ...Yeah but I was thinking we should turn that giant white dragon into a Heartless and use its Nobody to further our goals!
Saix: Oh yeah. We should do that.

*Saix goes Berserk and throw 3 claymores at Yiazmat*

Yiazmat: That's right! I'M GONNA GET ON YO' BACK *****!
Hell Wyrm: Didn't I tell you to *thwack* Ow!
Yiazmat: What?
Hell Wyrm: Something hit me. What the hell was~

*both of them turn around and get a claymore stuck in their horns*

Yiazmat: *pulls out the claymore* Where have I seen this before?
Saix: WHAT THE HELL MAN! Why aren't you dead?
Hell Wyrm: Who the **** are you two? *pulls out the claymores* >.>
Saix: *takes off hood* I AREZ SAIX
Xaldin: *takes off hood* I'm Xaldin >.>
Hell Wyrm: *looks through strategy guide* You guys are Organization XIII aren't you?
Saix: YEAH! AND WE ARE HERE TO TAKE YOUR HEARTLESS! >:O
Yiazmat: Those are the white and black things in that game aren't they?

*Yiazmat and Hell Wyrm look at each other* o_O

Yiazmat: Whoa.
Hell Wyrm: That is... odd.
Yiazmat: So wait. I'm a nobody and you are a Heartless?
Hell Wyrm: Well... I'd like to think I care about things. ._.
Yiazmat: I'm not a nobody! I'm somebody right? D:

*Xaldin launches 6 spears at them for SIX THWACKS*

Hell Wyrm: *pulls them out* Alright. That's getting really annoying.
Xaldin: Why aren't you dead? D:<
Hell Wyrm: I dunno. WHY AM I CHARGIN MAH LAZOR? >:O

*JUDGMENT! OMFGWTFBBQHAXOHSNAP*

*Saix and Xaldin are Stopped*

Yiazmat: Cool! Organization XIII figurines!
Hell Wyrm: Let's get Montblanc to sell them to crazed fans >:D

*later*

Montblanc: Do I have 1 million gil for Saix?
Crazed KH Fan: 2 MILLION GIL!
Another Crazed KH Fan: 3 MILLION GIL!
Crazed KH Fan: NO WAI! HE IS MAH HUBBY!
Another Crazed KH Fan: NO WAI HE IS XEMNAS'S HUBBY!

*they fight*

*back to the hywtness*

Tiamat: LEMME OUT! D:
Yiazmat: Fine >.> *loosens her neck ring*
Tiamat: I'M KICKING SEPHY'S BUTT! >:O
Yiazmat: HEY! YOU GET BACK HERE NAOW! I WANT TO KEEL SEPHY!

Yiazmat: Oh noes-desu!
Hell Wyrm: What?
Tiamat: I kicked his ass, again in Star Ocean 3 vs. Mode. With one of the ****iest techs ebar created.
Hell Wyrm: Replay?

*replay*
Maria: GRAVITY BULLET!
Sophia: *AHAOHOSDFHOA*! Ouch!
Maria: GRAVITY BULLET!
Sophia *OHADIFHKLSJDFKL* Ouch!
Maria: GRAVITY BULLET! *tackles Sophia* GRAVITY BULLET!
Sophia: Not ni---NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*end replay*

Hell Wyrm: You suck at SO3.
Yiazmat: I'm better than you, aren't I?
Hell Wyrm: Not really, according to Tia, I've improved?
Yiazmat: Prove it.

*replay*
Sophia: EFREET!
Sophia: FIRE BOLT!
Sophia: EFREET!
Sophia: THUNDER FLARE!
Sophia: NoooooOOOOOO!
*end replay*

Yiazmat: You cheated. All you did was run and then spam Fire Bolt and Thunder Flare.
Hell Wyrm: Not my fault you suck hard core.
Tiamat: XD OMG! *continues to laugh*
Hell Wyrm: I know he's bad, but he's not that bad, is he?
Tiamat: OMG! XD *laughing*
Yiazmat: Tiamat?
Tiamat: *silence*
Yiazmat: Oh noes-desu.
Hell Wyrm: This isn't good.
Yiazmat: I hope Fafnir doesn't walk in on this.

*cue Team Flab at the Westersand as the trip from NoN to the Highwaste was mostly Lindwyrm GB'ing and getting killed by Behemoth King because it pissed him off* >.>

Fafnir: At least there aren't any sandstorms this time around.

*LOL Sandstorm occurs*

Fafnir: WTF DUDE?
Lindwyrm: You jinxer >.>
Behemoth King: That's odd. I thought there was going to be less sandstorms this time around since we killed that large mother f~

*A roar is heard in the distance*

Fafnir: Guess he was revived from your hot butt mud >.>
Behemoth King: Don't remind me. -_-
Fafnir: Anyway, how do we get home?
Lindwyrm: Ooh! Look! Tunnel!
Fafnir: That would be the Zertinan Caverns. Let's go! :O

*they proceed into the Caverns*

Lindwyrm: What the hell is that walking pile of bones?
Fafnir: Your mom. :P
Lindwyrm: Shut up >.>
Behemoth King: Just walk past it. It won't bite.

*Skulwyrm attacks Barney* :O

Behemoth King: What the hell? KEEL IT NAOW! >:O

*they kill it*

Behemoth King: *Bleep*. -_-

*LOL LIEK 50,211,254 MOAR POP UP*

Fafnir: WTF?
Behemoth King: Is there like a dragon graveyard on that damned map of yours? -_-
Fafnir: No... secret area?
Lindwyrm: Could it be that you pissed off someone with your ugliness? :P
Fafnir: Shut up. >.>
Lindwyrm: no u :P
Behemoth King: Now is not the time. Dig out that Scathe magick. We'll need it >.>


Lindwyrm: Cover me! I'll count how many there are!
Fafnir: Just hurry it up, will ya? OUCH! *yanks his sword out of his back*
Behemoth King: I'll take the one on the left.
Fafnir: And which one would that beh?
Behemoth: I dunno!
Lindwyrm: 50,211,251...50,211,252...50,211,253...50,211,254... THERE ARE 50,211,254!
Behemoth King: *ardor* ****! How the hell are we gonna take down 50,211,254 of these *Bleep*.

*jumps in out of nowhere*

Lindwyrm: Hey, aren't you one of the writers?
Me: Yes. Now shut up, and let me concentrate!
Fafnir: Linda, cover him...
Lindwyrm: Stupid human....
Me:
Tenkou mitsuru tokoro ni warewa ari
Yamino mon hiraku tokoro ni nanji ari
Ideyo! Kami no Ikazuchi!
Kore de owari/saiko da!
Indignation!'

*nukifies the zombies*

Me: Run! Before more arrive!
Lindwyrm: What about you?
Me: I got's myself a ride! *pulls hoverboard out of thin air*
Fafnir: RUN, LINDA!

*cue Hywtness playing more video games*

Hell Wyrm: Yiaz.
Yiazmat: Wut?
Hell Wyrm: I just noticed something... I'm longer than you, dude.
Yiazmat: No wai. >_>
Hell Wyrm: Yeah way. I have a couple more feet over you.
Yiazmat: Really? Where? >.>
Hell Wyrm: I have a longer, sharper horn and glyph loops on my tail where you just have tail.
Yiazmat: No wai. >_>
Hell Wyrm: Yeah way :P
Yiazmat: Stand up. -_-

*they stand side by side*

Yiazmat: Tia, who's longer?
Tiamat: Hell Wyrm. *stares mindlessly at video game projection* Take that! >:O
Hell Wyrm: See? :O
Yiazmat: D:
Hell Wyrm: My wings also look more awesome. :O
Yiazmat: Shut up. ._.

*back to that skeleton field where our group is taking random pieces of Skulwyrm and randomly bashing them*

Lindwyrm: Why won't you go away?!? D:<
Fafnir: There is so many of them! D:<
Behemoth King: Just keep whacking them! D:<

*Suddenly a huge burst of light comes out of ****ing nowhere and all of the Skulwyrms disappear*

???: MWHAHAHAHA!
Lindwyrm: Hey! No more skeles! :D
???: I've come to claim your sssssoul! >:D
Fafnir: Who the **** are you? o_O
???: Your sssslayer! >:D
Behemoth King: *Holy's the guy* Get out of the shadows >.>
The Seer: WTF MAN? D:<
Behemoth King: Eww... Shadowseer. -_-
Fafnir: What the... I thought you were supposed to be in your emo basement in the Lighthouse. o_O
The Seer: Well, I have to get out onsssssce in a while.
Lindwyrm: Seriously, you look dead.
Fafnir: He is dead >.>
Lindwyrm: Oh. ._.
The Seer: Anywayssss, I need ssssssome more minionssss. You'll do. >:D

*summons Pandaemonium*

Pandaemonium: *Stomp stomp stomp*
Behemoth King: Seriously though? -_-

[Team Fat]
Behemoth King: *whack* Next >_>
*Shadowseer summons his next minions, which all fall to a single "whack"*
Behemoth King: NEXT! Oh, wait. *holy's Shadowseer*
Shadowseer: X(
Behemoth King: Yeah, I'm out.
Lindwyrm: Me too.
Fafnir: I think we should stop at Archades for a couple of Big Macs.
Behemoth King: *smacks Fafnir* That's so far from your house though! Better idea, let's have Linda drag the turtle to your place, and make some turtle soup. Then we can use the shell as a sled! :3
Fafnir: Sounds good to me.
Lindwyrm: *female* NO WAY, BOYS! *male* Why the hell do I have to do it?
Fafnir: Because, you contribute very little to FFXII: The Animated Series's plotline.
Lindwyrm: You arse....

*Party heads back to Paramina Rift*

[Team Smex]
Tiamat: Must... beat.... somebody named.... Kaikuro at.....Super Smash Bros Brawl...
*Tiamat ish teh KO'ed by Kaikuro*
Hell Wyrm: OWNED! LEMME TRY!
*Hell Wyrm gets owned very fast*
Yiazmat: You pfail. Move teh over! Nao!
*Yiazmat suicides all 10 of his lives*
Yiazmat: Oh noes-desu. WHY MUST I FAIL AT GAMES?
Tiamat: Because you have no claw-eye coordination?
Yiazmat: Maybe.

*Team Flab makes it out of the Zertinan Caverns into the Ozmone Plains*

Lindwyrm: *Bleep* it, did we have to walk through that sand pit? You are making me carry this giant tortoise >.>
Fafnir: It was the only way out of the Caverns.
Behemoth King: We are almost home. Just keep walking and shut you mouth. -_-
Lindwyrm: Why do YOU carry this thing then? >:(
Behemoth King: Fine.

*picks up the tortoise and hurls it across the plains*

Lindwyrm: Alright. Now find it -_-
Behemoth King: Shut up. >.>

*Fafnir's place*

Tiamat: *gets pwned by Kai again* OMG! This guy is pissing me off! >:O
Yiazmat: How many times have we played? >_>
Hell Wyrm: Never mind that, what day of the week is it?
Tiamat: I don't know... o_O
Hell Wyrm: Gimme that, maybe I'll have some luck.
Yiazmat: Sure. >.>
Hell Wyrm: *PWNED* ALRIGHT! I'M GONNA KILL HIM! *summons Vossler... from the ceiling*

Vossler (That's me! :D First appearance! :O) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *thud* WTF MAN?
Hell Wyrm: Shut up. I need you to go kill someone. >.>
Vossler: What? I'm busy. I have to write this damned story you know. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Forget it. Just go kill someone.
Vossler: Why?
Hell Wyrm: Because if you don't, I'll eat you. -_-
Vossler: If you put it like that... who do I have to kill? =/
Hell Wyrm: Some guy named Kaikuro.
Vossler: He's the other guy writing this story~
Hell Wyrm: YOU THINK I GIVE A *Bleep* ABOUT THIS STORY? KEEL HIM NAOW! >_O
Vossler: Okay! Okay! Gimme a portal >.>

*Vossler arrives at Kai's house where he is still playing SSBM* (Do you have this game, Kai? >.>)

Vossler: KAI!
Kaikuro: OMG VOSSLER! WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE? o_O
Vossler: You pissed off one of the characters and I have to kick your butt now >.>
Kaikuro: Seriously? We can do whatever we want! We created this story you know. <.<
Vossler: But I'm already dead and I don't want to be eaten >.>
Kaikuro: Wow? Really? o_O
Vossler: Yeah =/
Kaikuro: When?
Vossler: On the Shiva. The ship exploded.
Kaikuro: Sorry to hear that.
Vossler: It's okay. *pulls out the Nightmare and readies it in his sexy fashion :3* Let's get this over with. Are you ready?
Kaikuro: *pulls out -insert weapon name here-* Alright. LETZ GIT IT ON! >:O

Montblanc: Sweet, I'm gonna go get some poppy corns! *gets popcorn and rings bell*
*DING DING DING*
Kai: *begins charging spell*
Vossler: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~ *charges Kai*
Kai: ...(half a lame incantation later)...rain down your divine wrath! Prism Lance! *miss*
Vossler: *epoch swing* I got you now! *miss*
Kai: *divebombs Vossler with feet forward* Too slow! *miss* Ok, maybe I'm too slow!
Vossler: *charges Kai again*
Kai: ...ier of frost! Ice Wall! *blocks Vossler*

Vossler: Rawr! >:O *swings huge sword* *PARRY*
Kaikuro: LOL! You're blind! >:P *swings katana* *PARRY*
Vossler: Look who's talking! >:P *swings blade* *PARRY
Kaikuro: I am! >:P *swings blade* *PARRY*
Vossler: O_o
Kaikuro: o_O

*they take off Jade Collars*

Vossler: RAWR! >:O
Kaikuro: RAWR! >:O

*crazy awesome battle with lots of jumping and blocking and sword noises*

...

*anyway*

Fafnir: *Bleep* it Barney, you threw away our lunch! >:O
Behemoth King: Stop complaining. I saw it land over there. >.>
Lindwyrm: In the middle of nowhere?
Fafnir: According to this, the Eruyt Village is supposed to be here.
Lindwyrm: But there's nothing here >.>
Fafnir: I think you are supposed to use magick and wag a claw or something like that.
Lindwyrm: Well, I'm not *** so I can't do that :P
Fafnir: ...you genderbend. That's about 10x worse than being *** >.>
Behemoth King: Seriously. xD
Lindwyrm: Shut up! It's all Yiazmat's fault. He did something weird when he placed me back together after that Moogle raid at Hell Wyrm's house. ._.
Fafnir: ...so does anyone know the combination for the Eruyt Village?
Behemoth King: I do. *a little bit of wavy rave party light with his claw and...*

*the path to Eruyt Village is shown*

Fafnir: ...okay. How do you know the combination?
Behemoth King: Apparently Elder Wyrm is a pimp...
Fafnir: So...?
Behemoth King: So...? *rolls eyes*
Fafnir: Oh... what the hell is the matter with you? o_O
Behemoth King: Hey. They know their way around a wyrm.
Lindwyrm: O rly? :)
Behemoth King: Ya rly. :)

*they start talking in a low voice*

Fafnir: I guess I have to get the *Bleep* turtle myself >.>

*he walks into the Eruyt Village where Tetran and Luluuce is talking*

Fafnir: Hey have you seen a turtle around here?
Tetran: Yeah kupo, it landed over there past... OMFG GIANT DEAD WYRM! RUN LULUUCE! D:<
Luluuce: AHHHHH!!!!!... kupo! D:<
Fafnir: Yeah... thanks... -_-

*he walks into the square where the silicon tortoise is*

Fafnir: I thought there was supposed to be Viera here?

*he picks up the tortoise and begins~*

Vieras: ATTACK! >:O
Fafnir: WTF? O_O

*A myriad of arrows rain down upon Fafnir*

Fafnir: AHHHHHHHHHH! D:<



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2008, 10:55:41 PM »
*meanwhile*

Lindwyrm: That sounds awesome. I need to talk to Elder Wyrm then. :D
Behemoth King: Yeah. :P
Fafnir: *covered in arrows* RUN FO' YO LIFE! D:<
Vieras: GIT'EM GIRLS! >:O
Lindwyrm: Yay! Vieras! :D
Behemoth King: What the... run *Bleep* it! They aren't here to give you a happy ending! o_O

*all three of them haul ass*

Fafnir: *hanging on to pandaemonium (I speeled that the correctly rite?)* A HA! *shields self*
Behemoth King: You turd! *hides behind*
Lindwyrm: *flies away* See you later, asses!
Fafnir: Remind me to kill him or her later.
Behemoth King: *sleepga* Okay.

[cue epic battle]
Kaikuro: Time to finish this! *stab*
*epic miss, and falls into a pit*
Vossler: I win :3
Kaikuro: Nope, still alive! :D
Vossler: What teh eff- *block*
Kaikuro: *haxes and insta-casts Meteor Swarm*
Vossler: Oh ****ing....

[cue Team Hot]
Hell Wyrm: Wait, there's a Meteor spell in this game?
Yiazmat: Nope.
Tiamat: Jeez, you fail more than I thought at games.
Hell Wyrm: Then how is Kaikuro doing that?
Tiamat: He's not from this game. DUH!
Yiazmat: Jeez, I thought even you could figure that one out.
Hell Wyrm: ...Shut up...
Tiamat: No.
Yiazmat: Harassing you is too much fun NOT to do.

Kaikuro: Take that! :O
Vossler: OH NO! YA GOT MEH! D:<

*Vossler is like... on the floor man o_O*

Kaikuro: HAHA! I win! :O
Vossler: PSKYE! I GOTS ONE HP LEFT! >:O

*casts Balance and totally floors Kai*

Kaikuro: OH NO! YA GOT MEH! D:<

*LOL both of them are on the floor*

Montblanc: Double K.O? Wow.

>_>

<_<

*steals their wallets*

Montblanc: >:P

Kai: THAT *Bleep*! *runs after Montblanc*
Vossler: Aren't you going to help me?
Kai: *yells back* Nope.
Vossler: That *Bleep* >_>
Kai: I HEARD THAT!

Vossler: *opens Kai's fridge* What does he have in here? Behemoth Steak, Serpentwyne, Chinese food... what's this? *takes out a bottle*

*FFXII Potion*

http://youtube.com/watch?v=U2of98A86aI

Vossler: I wonder how what this tastes like... *chugs potion*

*2400 DAMAGE!*

Vossler: WTF! THIS TASTES LIKE CRAP!... *thud* x_x

*Lol, echoing voice fills the kitchen*

Hell Wyrm: Vossler is Kai dead yet? Vossler, speak to me! Voss? VOOOOOOOSSSSSSS!
Yiazmat: Would you shut up? Trying to play Metal Gear Solid 3 here >.>
Hell Wyrm: Let me be dramatic, *Bleep* it -_-
Yiazmat: Whatever drama llama. :P
Hell Wyrm: Looks like he raided his fridge and drank one of those FFXII Potions. They taste like Adamantitan. >.>

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-8DIacV5VkE

Yiazmat: Well, bring him back. We need moar butter! :O
Hell Wyrm: For what? o_O
Yiazmat: Steak, duh! :P
Hell Wyrm: We got more steak?
Yiazmat: That's all we eat isn't it?
Hell Wyrm: I want some chocobo >.>
Yiazmat: Yeah... me too. Bring Vossler back and tell him to get Kupo's Firaga'ed Chocobo :O
Hell Wyrm: You don't have to tell me twice! :D

*Portal opens and Vossler falls through*

Vossler: *thud* x_x
Hell Wyrm: Wake up *Bleep* it.
Vossler: Ugh. What happened? o_O
Hell Wyrm: You drank FFXII Potion.
Vossler: I can still taste it. Eww. >:O
Hell Wyrm: Go get us some KFC.
Vossler: I don't wanna! D:
Hell Wyrm: Okay. *opens mouth*
Vossler: OKAY! I'll go >.>

Kai: *pins down Montblanc*
Montblanc: You're gonna kill me, aren't you, Kupo?
Kai: *hesitates* *Bleep*! You're too cute and fuzzy. Now just gimme back my wallet.
Montblanc: What about Vossler's?
Kai: Keep it. I don't need it.
Montblanc: Ok, kupo.

*meanwhile*

Behemoth King: I have just the strangest inkling that we missed an epic fight between Kai and Vossler.
Fafnir: Why?
Lindwyrm: Because on TV, there was a commercial about it.
Fafnir: *Bleep*, I wanted to see who won.
Lindwyrm: Neither. On TV, it said it was a tie, then Kai ran off to take back his wallet.

*cue the traveling circus arriving at Paramina Rift*

Lindwyrm: *Bleep* it. It's cold again D:
Behemoth King: Yay! It's cold again :D
Fafnir: Cmon! I wanna see if my den is still standing >.>
Lindwyrm: Gimme a break. I've been carrying Pandaemonium for hours on end and now I have to drag him through the snow. -_-
Behemoth King: Cry moar please >.>

*meanwhile*

Vossler: *Bleep* wyrms, making me go out in the cold to get fried chocobo -_-

*callz teh Kai*

*LOL FRUITY RINGTONE!*

Kaikuro: This is teh Kai.
Vossler: Get your ass over to the Ozmone Plains. I need to get some fried chocobo for the *Bleep*.
Kaikuro: What do you need me for? o_O
Vossler: They aren't exactly small you know. I need to get like 30 chocobos to feed all of them >.>
Kaikuro: Whatever.
Vossler: By the way. I was raiding your fridge and one of the drinks killed me -_-
Kaikuro: I have those lying around when unwanted company comes by :P

*At the Golmore Jungle SC*

Vossler: You ready to go?
Kaikuro: Sure, I just need to check how much gil I have left.
Vossler: Speaking of gil, what happened to my wallet?
Kaikuro: Oh yeah... about that... Montblanc still has it.
Vossler :*facepalm* Never mind. -_-

Kai: Yeah, you know what?
Vossler: Hm?

*Grabs Vossler by the hair, and leaps back into the writing studios*

Vossler: *rubs head* Oww.. did you have to pull me by the hair.
Kai: Yes. *scripts in KFC (marinated in Potion btw) for the wyrms*

MEANWHILE

*Insert massive cry moar here*

Lindwyrm: I'm tired.
Behemoth King: Cry moar.
Lindwyrm: *genderbend* Waaaaaaah~ *cry*
Fafnir: I haet you. I think I'll speak to Hell Wyrm about raeping you in your sleep.
Behemoth King: Eew, I don't think he'll incest rape me in the middle of the night.
Fafnir: Good point.

Vossler: Dude. This chicken tastes like crap >.>
Kaikuro: So? You aren't eating this.
Vossler: Well then you deliver it to them. -_-
Kaikuro: No wai.
Vossler: See? Don't you want to beat up some chocobos?
Kaikuro: But I love them! D:
Vossler: *drags Kai by the collar* Cmon >.>

*Ozmone Plains*

Vossler: Ahh! This is great weather... for sword-whipping chocobos! >:D
Kaikuro: I'm not touching them >.>
Vossler: Fine. You pick a chocobo for me to beat up then.
Kaikuro: Okay. *secretly puts on his bangle* That one.
Vossler: That red one over there?
Kaikuro: Yeah.
Vossler: Okay! :D

*smacks the red chocobo... the LV 99 Red Chocobo*

LV 99 Red Chocobo: WARK! *bites Vossler's head* >:O
Vossler: AHHH! YOU *Bleep*! D:<
LV 99 Red Chocobo: WARK! >:O *knees the crap out of Voss multiple times*
Kaikuro: XDDDDDDD!
Vossler: *cough* You *Bleep*... >_<

*At teh house*

Fafnir: WE'RE BACK AND WE BOUGHT FOOD! :D
Lindwyrm: Correction. I bought food -_-
Yiazmat: OMFG FOOD! :D
Tiamat: Fire up the grill BK! :D
Hell Wyrm: So, did you meet your mother?
Behemoth King: Yep.
Hell Wyrm: How did it go?
Behemoth King: It was fine.
Hell Wyrm: Really? Then why is she chilling in the pits of Hell right now? >.>
Behemoth King: Uhh... because I put her there? o_O
Hell Wyrm: ...That sounds like what I would do. FIRE UP THE GRILL! :O
Behemoth King: Yeah! :O

Tiamat: Do you have any brains at all?
Yiazmat: I...don't...know o_O
Tiamat: I didn't think so. >.>
Yiazmat: I just noticed something. Five out of the six letters in your name are in my name. o_o
Tiamat: You are hopeless.
Yiazmat: No, I'm just messing with you. :P
Tiamat: Really? >.>
Yiazmat: Yeah. But seriously, why does Ashe have 0 mp?
Tiamat: *facepalm* A moogle just died. -_-
Yiazmat: Really? *Yells* HEY HELLIE! DID A MOOGLE JUST DIE?
Hell Wyrm: LEMME CHECK! *pause* YEAH! A MOOGLE JUST DIED!
Yiazmat: WELL BRING IT BACK TO LIFE!
Hell Wyrm: WHY?
Yiazmat: BECAUSE ASHE HAS ZERO MP!
Hell Wyrm: ...
Yiazmat: HELLIE?
Hell Wyrm: YOU ARE A ******* IDIOT, YOU KNOW THAT?
Yiazmat: I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT SEVERAL TIMES, YES!
Tiamat: STOP YELLING! >:O
Yiazmat: Okay! Okay! You don't have to yell >.>
Tiamat: ...I'm going to watch the turtle cook now. -_-

*meanwhile*

Vossler: I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! D:
Lv 99 Red Chocobo: WARK! >:O
Kaikuro: AHHH! D:
Vossler: This is all your fault! D:
Kaikuro: How? D:
Vossler: You told me to hit him and now were are hauling ass through the jungle. D:
Kaikuro: But you hit him! D:

*they run into the Dragon's Dell*

Elder Wyrm: Are you holding out on me Jote? I told you to give me 75% of the profits!
Jote: No you didn't and besides, they are MY Viera.
Vossler: AHH! D:
Kaikuro: AHH! D:
Elder Wyrm: What the... GET THE HELL OUT! >:O *begins casting Sporefall*

*Vossler and Kai jump off the wall and do some crazy sword slashes on the green giant and runs out the other exit*

Red: WARK! >:O *jumps over Elder Wyrm and Choco-comets it*
Elder Wyrm: X_X
Jote: *Bleep*! I guess you don't need that gil anymore >.>

Kai: Wait... *pulls out a gummy worm* Here birdie... Nice birdie...
Red: Wark? *sniffs the gummy worm* *eats gummy worm*
Kai: Here, have the whole bag. Just leave me alone. *gives Red the whole bag*
Red: *begins eating gummy worms*

*Vossler and Kai begin running again*

Vossler: We gave it the slip, didn't we.
Kai: Yeah, about that.

*Chocometeor comes flying at Vossler*

Vossler: Yeah, I've told you I hate you, right?
Kai: Yup

*EPIC K.O*

Kai: I will see you later *runs off*

[back with the wyrms]

Tiamat: Fafnir, you suck at cooking. I wouldn't use pepper for this application. Pandaemonium will taste much better with cumin.
Fafnir: Lies. Cumin gives Yiazzy gas anyway.
Tiamat: You bring a good point. HEY! GIANT IDIOT-GOD! HAVE YOU FIGURED OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ASHE YET?!
Yiazmat: NO!

[at Clan Centurio's HQ]

Montblanc: I feel funny ku- *dies*

Vossler: And I run... I run so far away...
Kaikuro: Don't sing. Just run >.>

*they end up in Paramina Rift*

Red: WARK! Wark? o.o *stares at snow*
Vossler: I think we lost it D:
Kaikuro: Aww! That is so cute! It's staring at the snow falling! :3
Vossler: I guess? o_O

*The cave*

Yiazmat: Won't someone help me with my dilemma? D:
Hell Wyrm: *walks over and removes Dawn Shard and slams Yiazzy's face into the ground* You deserved that. -_-
Yiazmat: Ow! :(

Everyone but Yiazmat: ...
Yiazmat: What?
Everyone: ...noob...

[us, insert chocobo theme here]
Kai: *riding on Chocobo* Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *Red chocometeor's everything that I don't chop/spellnuke*
Vossler: Hey! I want a turn!
Kai: It doesn't like you remember?
Vossler: Since when?
Red: Wark! *translation* SINCE WHEN YOU ****ING HIT ME!
Kai: Exactly.
Vossler: But you told me to!
Kai: I never forced you to.
Vossler: *throws Dawn Shard at Kai*

Yiazmat: I'm so BORED. D:
Hell Wyrm: You are so STUPID. >.>
Yiazmat: You are so ODD. :P
Hell Wyrm: How am I odd? I'm exactly like you in image, only opposite in color. -_-
Yiazmat: Oh yeah? You have a Dark affinity but your special attack is Holy.
Hell Wyrm: I control Hell. I need it >.>
Yiazmat: Do you even know what would happen if you were hit by your own Judgment?
Hell Wyrm: No... my attack can't be reflected. -_-
Yiazmat: O RLY?
Hell Wyrm: YA RLY!
Yiazmat: Try me then. :P
Hell Wyrm: You asked for it. >:O

*JUDGMENT*

Yiazmat: *opens a portal and redirects the attack* Didn't see that coming did you? :o
Hell Wyrm: WTF? Oh ****. ._.

*OMGWTFBBQHITBYUROWNATTAX*

Hell Wyrm *3 stars spin overhead* X_X
Yiazmat: Now who's stupid? :P
Fafnir: HEY! No area destroying attacks in my house! >:O
Yiazmat: Wuteva. >.> *looks at the sars spinning* Hmm... I wonder if this works.

*Picks up Hell Wyrm and drops him. An item box pops up and spins*

Yiazmat: Whoa. Metal Gear Solid physics. o_O

*picks it up and gets a Dark Crystal*

Yiazmat: Eww. Dark Crystal. -_-

*an hour later*

Hell Wyrm: *a star falls off* X_X *droolz*
Yiazmat: How long will this guy be unconscious?... AND WHEN WILL THE FOOD BE READY? >:O
Fafnir: SHUT UP! IT'LL BE DONE WHEN IT'S DONE!

Hell Wyrm: We need some help on cooking. It appears none of you can think of an idea for a good recipe.

*Giant portal appears in front of Vossler and Kai*

Kai: What the f-----AHHH!
Vossler: HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII---Huh?
Kai: MOOOOOOOOOMY!
Vossler: Dude, we stopped falling.
Kai: Ahem. You didn't hear that.
Vossler: Where are---
Kai: What smells... OH MY GOD!
Vossler: Mention this to nobody.
Kai: And if I do?
Vossler: Then I will force Balthier to raep you.
Kai: Pretend it never happened.
Hell Wyrm: Are you two idiots finished babbling yet?
Vossler: Can you change my armor?
Hell Wyrm: Yeah *changes armor* Ok, now, we need a way to cook Pandemonaeum [Ha, I can't spell the *Bleep* thing's name].
Kai: Turtle soup? Just add chopped onions, celery, and some salt to a pan with some butter, saute until translucent, add garlic, saute until light gold, and then add turtle + turtle stock. Stock is made by boiling down the shell for 8 hours. Cook soup until turtle is falling apart. Meanwhile, take pieces of Yiazmat's secret recipe behemoth steak, uncooked, and puree it with flour, salt, pepper, chilies, and cream, and pipe it into the soup just before service.
Vossler: Anything else?
Kai: Dollop of chive sour cream, and just a few crushed up (bags in their case) pieces of fried tortillas should be more than enough.

*Due to Kai's ability to manipulate time and space, the soup was cooked in record time*

Kai: *taste* Alright, it just needs another cup of dried chilies, and another teensie pinch of salt.

*Vossler adds the ingredients*

*Everyone sits down for a nice bowl of Turtle Soup while Yiazmat attempts to solve his dilemma*

Yiazmat: When is dinner?
Kai: We ate it.
Yiazmat: WHAT?!
Vossler: We called you over earlier, but you ignored us.
Lindwyrm: Your loss. There's still a bowl in the- oh never mind.

*Behemoth King is gorging on the last bowl of soup*

Kai: You ass, we saved that for Yiazmat.
Behemoth King: *sob* MY MOMMY HATES ME!
Hell Wyrm: Who doesn't?

Yiazmat: Dude.
Hell Wyrm: What?
Yiazmat: Dude.
Hell Wyrm: What?
Yiazmat: Dude.
Hell Wyrm: WHAT? >:O
Yiazmat: I'm bored.
Hell Wyrm: ... Me too >.>
Yiazmat: You know what I want to do?
Hell Wyrm: What?
Yiazmat: Pay a visit to Clan Centaurio. Some of the hunters actually think I'm dead. :o
Hell Wyrm: You act like no one will see you >.>
Yiazmat: Yeah... you should go do something so you can be a Mark so I can surprise them.
Hell Wyrm: I like not being hunted, thank you. -_-
Yiazmat: *pokes him* Come on! ;D
Hell Wyrm: No.
Yiazmat: *pokes him again* Come on! ;D
Hell Wyrm: No.
Yiazmat: *pokes him again* Come on! ;D
Hell Wyrm: OMFG SHUT UP!
Yiazmat: *pokes him once more* COME ON! ;D
Hell Wyrm: *Bleep* it man!... What should I do? >.>
Yiazmat: Well, the only thing you have to do is show your face around a major city.
Hell Wyrm: That sounds boring.
Yiazmat: Alright then. Judgment a city or something.
Hell Wyrm: And create another Nabudis? o_O
Yiazmat: Well, how DO you want to be noticed?
Hell Wyrm: Shoot a couple of warning shots into the air?
Yiazmat: You might as well just aim a little lower then! :O
Hell Wyrm: Never mind. I'll just say hi to hunters at the Phon Coast.
Yiazmat: Fine. :D

*they portal to the middle of the ocean*

Seeq: This was a good swim. :o
Hume: How is this good? There were no big waves for me to surf on. D:
Hell Wyrm: *under the water, humming the theme from Jaws* Da dum. Da dum. Da dum da dum da dum dum... >:D
Seeq: Dude. Did you ever get the feeling that you were being watched?
Hell Wyrm: Hai.
Hume: Sup man.
Seeq: Hey.
Hume: O_O
Seeq: O_O

*they look back*

Hell Wyrm: ^_^
Hume: AHHH! GIANT KILLER WYRM! D:
Seeq: DON'T EAT ME! I'M TOO SEXY! D:<
Hell Wyrm: Eww... no >.>
Yiazmat: XD

*the next day*

Fafnir: *reading the newspaper* Hell Wyrm.
Hell Wyrm: Wut?
Fafnir: Did you go out and scare people?
Hell Wyrm: Yeah. Why?
Fafnir: Look.
Hell Wyrm: *reads the newspaper* Giant wyrm found in the middle of the ocean... scared a few people... deemed a TROPHY RARE GAME! WTF MAN?
Fafnir: That's pitiful! Lin, Barney, and I were considered a high level hunt on our first try! XD
Yiazmat: Did you make it on the boards yet?
Hell Wyrm: I'M A ******* TROPHY RARE GAME!
Yiazmat: LOL! XD
Hell Wyrm: THATS IT!
Yiazmat: Where you going?
Hell Wyrm: I'm going destroy the Phon Coast.
Yiazmat: Wait for me! :O

*they fly off to the Phon Coast*

Hell Wyrm: EAT THIS! *JUDGMENT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ******* OCEAN!*

*GIANT TSUNAMI!*

Hume: AWESOME! Those look like killer waves! Seeq buddy! Let's go surfing! :D
Seeq: Dude. The water just went reeeeeeeeeaaaaally far back. ._.
Hume: So? *sees giant wave coming towards the coast* ._.
Seeq: EVERYONE! GE TEA EFF OH SNAP!

*wave hits... and the next day*

Vossler: Here you go.
Hell Wyrm: What's this?
Vossler: A bill for your death.
Hell Wyrm: *reads* Hell Wyrm: Rank VII Mark. Wanted for the destruction of Phon Coast property worth 10,000,000,000 Gil. Current location unknown. Petitioner: Montblanc. Now THAT is awesome.
Vossler: Awesome? You destroyed choice beach front property! >:O
Hell Wyrm: At least no one died. The Archadians have too much money anyway.
Vossler: How do you know no one died? -_-
Hell Wyrm: Silly *****, do you know who I am? I'M HELL WYRM *****!
Vossler: Oh yeah. I forgot that >.>
Yiazmat: Nice job! :O
Hell Wyrm: Wuteva. Now I'll be bugged again by annoying people that want a piece of me. -_-
Yiazmat: At least we won't be bored for long :P
Hell Wyrm: ...just don't talk >.>

Kai: Hey, Helen, can I fake-kill you?
Hell Wyrm: Did you just call me "Helen"?
Kai: Yes.
Hell Wyrm: Then in that case, yes.
Kai: O_o
Hell Wyrm: It'd be nice to see what happens when we fake it.

*party sets up a giant stage*

Vossler: Scene 1: ACTION

*three weeks of recording later...*

Kai: *turns on news* Hey, it's us!

*NEWS*

Balthier: In other news today, a young boy, no older than 16 has just slain Hell Wyrm.
Fran: Oh. That makes me warm.
Balthier: Fran, please don't talk naughtily on live television.
Fran: No, not that. I mean this tea. It's positively delightful.
Balthier: Oh, in that case. *continues to babble*

*END NEWS*

Hell Wyrm: Those *Bleep*.
Kai: They totally ****ing ignored us.
Vossler: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Kai: But I don't kiss my mom.
Vossler: What kind of person are you?
Kai: Cruel, unusual, sarcastic, *continues to blither*
Vossler: zZzzZZz
Kai: Alright, now that he's not paying attention, off to the club.

*leaves*



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2008, 10:57:07 PM »
Yiazmat: Dude.
Hell Wyrm: What?
Yiazmat: Dude.
Hell Wyrm: What?
Yiazmat: Dude.
Hell Wyrm: Don't start this again. -_-
Yiazmat: Dude.
Hell Wyrm: *punches Yiaz in the face* ESS TEA EFF JOO! >:O
Yiazmat: Why did you hit me? I was just bored! TT_TT
Hell Wyrm: Ugh. *facepalm* -_-
Yiazmat: Anyway, the hunt thing didn't last too long >.>
Hell Wyrm: I didn't want it to. -_-
Yiazmat: What did Vossler get anyway?
Hell Wyrm: 50,000 Gil and this weird weapon called the Wyrmhero Blade.
Yiazmat: WTF? They only paid 20,000 Gil and a puny badge for my defeat! >:O
Hell Wyrm: Well they think I'm better than you. :P
Yiazmat: Oh please >.>
Hell Wyrm: Wait. Isn't that the Wyrmhero Blade yours?
Yiazmat: Is it?
Hell Wyrm: I seem to recall you killing people over a particular sword.
Yiazmat: OMFG! YEAH! I LEFT IT SOMEWHERE! *portals somewhere*
Hell Wyrm: Wait for me! >:O *walks through*

*they end up in the Lhusu Mines*

Yiazmat: OH THANK ME! It's still here! ^_^;;
Hell Wyrm: You stored it in a mine?
Yiazmat: Yeah.
Hell Wyrm: A mine in a FLOATING continent?

*meanwhile at the ocean near Phon Coast*

Tiamat: I'm glad we got out of that cave. They are complete idiots >.>
Lindwyrm: Yup. *splashes Tiamat* >:D
Tiamat: Oh no you didn't! *splashes Lin*
Lindwyrm: Take~ OW! WTF HIT ME?
Tiamat: Oh my god... *facepalm* -_-

*the city of Bhujerba is hovering a few feet above the ocean*

Lindwyrm: I don't recall Bhujerba being that low. *rubs head* >_<
Tiamat: It isn't. -_-

*back to Lhusu*

Yiazmat: So who's been replicating mah weapon? >:O
???: MWHAHAHAHA!
???: Woof. :D

*WHO'S THAT FFXII CHARACTER?*

???: BARK BARK!
Yiazmat: ...
Hell Wyrm: Yiazmat, I blame you.
Yiazmat: Why?!
Hell Wyrm: Because -----------------

[sudden screen change]

Lindwyrm: *does inappropriate things to a shield wyrm*
Tiamat: I'm telling aunt Susan.
Lindwyrm: No, wait, please, no!
Tiamat: Why shouldn't I?!
Lindwyrm: Because she'll [insert a painful verb here] me!
Tiamat: So? YOU [insert inappropriate verb here] a shield wyrm.
Lindwyrm: Does that justify me being [insert verb from above]?
Tiamat: Yes.
Lindwyrm: *charges Tia, and is ready to claw off her head when...*

[SUDDEN SCREEN CHANGE O_O]

Behemoth King: *eating a giant tub of ice cream, and watching All My Children* WAAAAAAH *Cry*
Fafnir: What is wrong with you?
Behemoth King: I'm a *Bleep* child, and my mommy hates me. And now she's dead. And my dad is somewhere. Don't tell him I called him "Dad".
Fafnir: I won't. Besides, you dragged us across the world, just to find your mommy, we nearly died 6 times along the ****ing way, and then you killed her.
Behemoth King: Not my fault. *eats another scoop of ice cream, and bawls some more*
Fafnir: I need a vacation. TO the Phon Coast.
Behemoth King: NO! DON'T LEAVE ME FAFNIR! I WANT TO------------------------

[Yet another sudden screen change]

Kai: *is pwning nubs on Warriors Orochi*
Vossler: Gah, what was the button to jump again?
Kai: X. OMG, DON'T ****ING DIE. JUST LIVE LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO KILL THE BOSS.
Vossler: Yeah, well it's kind of hard when you have 30 soldiers on your ass.
Kai: That's why you KILL them...
Vossler: OH------

[back to Helen]

Hell Wyrm: ...touch yourself at night.
Yiazmat: So who are you?
???: BARK! MY NAME IS ---

???: Why haven't we been introduced yet? o_O
???: Recauze da rydder iz a ridiot?
???: HOLY ****, YOU CAN TALK?!? O.O
???: Woof? o_O
Yiazmat: Just get out of the shadows, Gilgamesh -_-
Gilgamesh: How did you know it was me? D:
Yiazmat: You are the only one looking for my sword >.>
Hell Wyrm: You also smell weird. Like demonic dog to be exact :o
Enkidu: *Whimper* D:
Gilgamesh: Whatever. IT IS ME, GILGAMESH!
Yiazmat: *blows him off the bridge* >_>
Gilgamesh: AHHHH~! D:<
Enkidu: XD
Hell Wyrm: XD
Yiazmat: XD
Gilgamesh: God *Bleep* it, thats not funny! >:(
Yiazmat: XD
Hell Wyrm: XD
Enkidu: XD
Gilgamesh: RAAAA! TAKE THIS! *sticks a katana in Yiazmat*
Yiazmat: HAHAHA~ Ow. *looks down*
Gilgamesh: How do you like my sword in your heart? >:D
Yiazmat: OH NOES! I IS DEAD *begins to fall on his~* No, I'm just kidding. xD
Gilgamesh: Why aren't you dying? ._.
Yiazmat: I dunno. You gonna pull that out?
Gilgamesh: *tries to pull it out* It's stuck >.>
Yiazmat: Here, let me help. *picks up Gilgamesh and the katana and flings him towards the wall*
Gilgamesh: AHHHH! *thud* Thats it! you have ridiculed me for the last time! PREPARE TO DIE! >:O *pulls out the Tournesol, Brotherhood, Zantetsuken, Buster Sword, Revolver, and the Orichalcum*
Yiazmat: Hold on, let me get my weapon. My REAL weapon. ;) *pulls the Wyrmhero Blade out... WITH HIS TEETH*
Hell Wyrm: You are going to fight him with a sword in your mouth?
Yiazmat: *mumbles* Yesh.
Hell Wyrm: Okay... do you know how ******* ridiculous you look?
Yiazmat: *hits HW with the sword* >_>
Hell Wyrm: OW! That hurt! A lot! D:
Yiazmat: Exzakre. :)
Gilgamesh: Let's go Enkidu! We shall defeat him, take his sword, and drink his blood! >:O
Enkidu: >_> *backs away slowly*
Gilgamesh: Oh come now! D:
Yiazmat: *quietly* Two rad re ruzn't know rhat I raste rike crwap :P
Hell Wyrm: Just... stop talking. You sound like a bigger idiot than usual. -_-
Yiazmat: *hits him again* >_>
Hell Wyrm: Ow! D:
Yiazmat: Yoo go-ring two attack?
Gilgamesh: I'm not just going to attack, I'm going to demolish you! *charges* >:O

*little bit of action before the fight at the Phon Coast...*

Lindwyrm: RAWR! *begins to swing at Tiamat* >:O
Tiamat: *blocks the attack, grabs him, and flips him into a vertical suplex* Whee! :o

*EPIC SLAM*

Lindwyrm: *stars spin overhead* X_X
Tiamat: WHO DA WYRM? I'M DA WYRM! You don't mess with this *****! Oh no! >:O

*and then the cave*

Fafnir: Would you stop bawling? -_-
Behemoth King: But~it~so~sad! TT_TT
Fafnir: Okay. You need to stop watching those soaps and man up. Get over it. -_-
Hell Wyrm: *in echo-ey voice* HEY! GILGAMESH AND YIAZMAT ARE FIGHTING! AND YIAZ IS FIGHTING WITH A SWORD IN HIS MOUTH!*
Fafnir: Whoa. Weird voice. Since when can you do that? o_O
Hell Wyrm: *in said voice* Since like ever. I'm godly like that.
Behemoth King: Open a portal so we can watch it! :D
Hell Wyrm: *voice* It's pay-per-view. 50,000 gil :o
Fafnir: Just shut up and open the *Bleep* portal so we can watch >.>

*the house*

Vossler: DUDE!
Kaikuro: What?
Vossler: DUDE!
Kaikuro: What?
Vossler: DUDE!
Kaikuro: *backhands* WHAT? >:O
Vossler: Ow! It's Yiazmat v. Gilgamesh on Pay-per-View! :o
Kaikuro: OH SNAP! BUY NAOW!
Vossler: Way ahead of you buddy! :D

*teh fight*

Gilgamesh: EAT MAH BUSTER BLADE! *swings blade* D:<
Yiazmat: *elegantly blocks with his sword* Rai rhave a sword in my routh already. ;)

[Everyone watching the "epic fight]

Yiazmat: *muffled* RHAHGSKLH!
*Decapitates Gilgy*
Gilgamesh: X_X
Enkidu: *soils self, then runs*

[House]
Kai: OH COME ON!
Vossler: WE PAYED 30,000 GIL FOR THAT?!
Kai: BOO!

[Cave]
Fafnir: ...I payed 100,000 gil for that? What a good deal. NOT.
Behemoth King: *continues to watch soaps*
Hell Wyrm: What's wrong with my *Bleep* child?
Behemoth King: *watching soaps, eating ice cream, and bawling*
Fafnir: His mommy no wubb him.
Hell Wyrm: Who does?
Fafnir: Good point.

[Other cave]
Hell Wyrm: Well, 160,000 gil. And all you had to do was decapitate a nub.
Yiazmat: Really? Now we can buy Fafnir a big screen TV.
Hell Wyrm: We're moving in with him?
Yiazmat: Well of course, where are we going to live? In a ****ing desert?
Hell Wyrm: True.

[EPIC HIDING SPOT]
Red: WARK! *chocometeor' Vaan*
Vaan: X_x

The rest of the party: *vanished* XD
Penelo: I told you it would work! XD
Balthier: I didn't think Vaan could be that stupid! XD
Penelo: Oh crap, stop laughing! It's coming over here! o_o
Balthier: Okay. Back away. Slowly...

Combat Message: Penelo has hauled ass.

Balthier: ._.;;
Red: Wark? (Is someone there?)
Vaan: Ohhh~ >_<
Red: WARK! >:O *pecks Vaan again*

*Phon Coast*

Lindwyrm: Wha...what happened? >_<
Tiamat: You lunged at me so I suplexed you.
Lindwyrm: You suplexed me? How? o_O
Tiamat: Like this. *picks up Lin and vertical suplexes him again* :o

*THUD*

Lindwyrm: *cough* Why did you do that?!? >_<
Tiamat: Just to send the point home.
Lindwyrm: Well you did! I think you broke some ribs! Dx
Tiamat: Oops. Let me check... *pokes Lin's chest* ._.
Lindwyrm: OW! D:
Tiamat: Yep, it's broken. What should I do? D:
Lindwyrm: Just take me to my place so I can get this fixed. >_<

*they trek to Tchita Uplands to his place*

Fafnir: HEY! Stop running in here! This isn't your house!
Hell Wyrm: Just trying to set up the PS2 again >.>
Lindwyrm: WTF~ ow, How did you get in here?!?
Hell Wyrm: We portaled in here, duh :o
Yiazmat: Hey Lin, this steak needs moar butter. :o
Lindwyrm: Oh god. Just put me dow~
Tiamat: *drops Lin* Hey! Let me play! :D
Lindwyrm: OW!
Hell Wyrm: No wai! >:(
Lindwyrm: That's right, don't mind me, I just have a couple of broken ribs is all, nothing to worry about. -_-

Balthier: Oh well. *pulls out ridiculous weapon given to him by Kai* A rubber ducky?
Penelo: His instructions were to squeak it.
Balthier: *squeaks ducky*

*Suddenly, a localized nuclear fusion reaction nukifies Red*

Balthier: Well, that worked out well.
Penelo: Well, now that that's over, we can head home, yeaaaaaaaaah. Oh ****. I caught. The "yeaah".
Balthier: The "yeaaaaaah"?
Penelo: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Lfu_hKwY1gs
Balthier: Oh. That's not good, yeaaaaaah. Crap, now I'm doing it too, yeaaaaaaaah.

[Meanwhile]

Kai: *twitch*
Vossler: Did you just twitch?
Kai: Yep.
Tiamat: Why?
Kai: Because, I think Balthier nukified Red with my rubber ducky :(.
Vossler: Good. Red was a class-A ass.
Kai: That's not nice.
Tiamat: Who the hell is Red?
Kai: A level 99 Red Chocobo.
Vossler: Capitan Asshat over here (Kai: :3) told me to whack it. And he then spammed chocometeor at me.
Tiamat: Ha, nub.
Lindwyrm: Help over here?
Vossler: I'll help you when Yiazmat gets good at video games.
Kai: I'll help you when Yiazmat gets past the first goomba in Super Mario World.
Vossler: *dies laughing*
Kai: *mumbles incantation* Renew Life! Yeh, sorry about that.
Vossler: *breathing* No problem, that was just too amazing.

[Tiamat, Kai and Vossler pwning in Tales of Destiny: Remake]

Lindwyrm: Hey boys want to help me *female*
Kai: Nope.
Vossler: Nah.
Lindwyrm: QTF?! *male*
Kai: (is controlling Rutee) EAT MAELSTROM MOTHER****ERS!
Rutee: MAELSTROOM! *giant whirlpool ownifies enemies*
Vossler: (is Philia) I BLOWS ALL OF JOO UP!
Philia: TSUIN-BOMBU! TSUIN-BOMBU! TSUIN-BOMBU! TSUIN-BOMBU! TSUIN-BOMBU! BOMB RAIN!
Tiamat: (is Lilith) Eat my *uses Mambo Senkou* fish? Ok, WTF?!
Lilith: MAMBO SENKOU! *does 25k damage*
Tiamat: O_O
Lindwyrm: Are you guys going to help me?
Kai: Depends. Yiazmat, have you gotten past the first goomba yet?
Yiazmat: Nope.
Kai: Then no.

Lindwyrm: You know, if I don't get medical attention soon, I'm going to die. >_<
Tiamat: Someone can revive you later. Right now, we gotta kick some butt.
Kai: OH YEAH! Take that! >:O

*an hour later*

Lindwyrm: *face down clutching his side* >_<
Yiazmat: Super Mario Bros. cheats. -_-
Lindwyrm: >_<
Yiazmat: You okay there Lin? o_O
Lindwyrm: *cough* o_<
Yiazmat: Wow. That's a nasty injury ._.
Lindwyrm: Ooh... there's a bright light...
Yiazmat: OMFG! STEP AWAY FROM THE LIGHT! Crap. Don't worry! I'll perform surgery naow! D: *cuts Lin*
Lindwyrm: OW!
Yiazmat: Shut up. *continues cutting Lin*
Lindwyrm: OWWWWWW! DX<
Yiazmat: *Bleep* it, I can't work like this. HELLER!
Hell Wyrm: WHAT?
Yiazmat: HAND ME MY STICK!
Hell Wyrm: WHICH ONE?
Yiazmat: THE STICK!
Hell Wyrm: *toss the stick*
Lindwyrm: What are you going to do with th~

*WHAM*

Lindwyrm: x_x
Hell Wyrm: *walks over* Dude. You broke his neck. >.>
Yiazmat: It's anesthetic.
Hell Wyrm: You also bashed his skull in >.>
Yiazmat: *hits HW with the stick* Now shut up. That rib is like... buried in his lung. o_O
Hell Wyrm: *rubs head* I find it amazing that you can't play video games and are overall, a complete idiot but you can perform any kind of surgery. Weird.
Yiazmat: Yeah well, I've killed many things accidentally so I learned. -_-
Hell Wyrm: *picks up the stick* What's this thing called? o_O
Yiazmat: Whale Whisker. Found it a while back.
Hell Wyrm: So this is anesthesia?
Yiazmat: Yup. NOW HAND ME MAH SPONGE NURSE HELEN! :O
Hell Wyrm: -_- *whacks Yiaz with the stick*
Yiazmat: WTF? You don't hit a surgeon in the middle of surgery! >:(
Hell Wyrm: You aren't a surgeon -_-
Yiazmat: Yes I am. What am I doing right now?
Hell Wyrm: You aren't a real surgeon. >.>
Yiazmat: I don't need your criticism. I HAVE LIVES TO SAVE! *puts on Healing Vision: Angelic Mix*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqpoCzgtMhY&feature=related

Hell Wyrm: You know that song is going to seriously screw with your surgery right?
Yiazmat: That's how I like my surgeries; with a little bit of flat line as background music.
Hell Wyrm: You're weird. -_-
Yiazmat: You know what this song needs?
Hell Wyrm: Here it comes... -_-
Yiazmat: MOAR FLATLINE! *turns it up* :O
Kai: WHO THE **** IS DYING OVER THERE? >:O
Hell Wyrm: *Bleep*. I thought he was going to say more cowbell >.>

*3 hours later*

Lindwyrm: *Bleep*... that hurts >_<
Hell Wyrm: That's because your surgeon bashed your brains in and called it "anesthetic" >.>
Lindwyrm: Who's that?
Hell Wyrm: Yiazmat >.>
Lindwyrm: Wait, the same dragon that can't get past the first goomba on Super Mario Bros.?
Yiazmat: OH **** NO! D:<
Hell Wyrm: Yep.
Lindwyrm: Wow. Is it considered a miracle that I'm still alive?
Hell Wyrm: He's a good surgeon :P
Lindwyrm: Wait. What's this bandage on my leg? *takes it off*

*the words "Yiazmat owns this! :P" is stitched into his leg*

Lindwyrm: Oh god, that is so ***. *facepalm* -_-
Hell Wyrm: ROFL! It was my idea! XD
Lindwyrm: *whacks Hw with the sitck* >:(
Hell Wyrm: OW! It's just a superficial stitch! It'll go away >_>

Lindwyrm: You guys suck, you know that?
Yiazmat: No, not in public.
Hell Wyrm: O_o
Yiazmat: I'm kidding.
Hell Wyrm: But that isn'
Yiazmat: Shh, trying to get past the goomba.

Kai: OMG! DIE BARBATOS *is shot* *Bleep*!
Vossler: *uses life bottle* EAT BIG BANG, MOTHER ****ER! *dies* Oh...my...God... I hate Barbatos.
Lilith: Mambo ----*is Genocide Braver'd*

[GAME ****ING OVER]

Tiamat: These guys cheat.
Kai: There is no way that he could spam so many Genocide Bravers in one minute.
Vossler: I hate him.

[Three hours later]

Hell Wyrm: Lemme try.

*All four of them beat barbatos, after wasting all of their healing items*

Kai: That. Was. Insane >_<
Vossler: Yeah.
Tiamat: Whew.
Hell Wyrm: How'd we manage that? WITH MY AWESOME SKILLS!
Tiamat: Ya know, if Kai got bored of reviving us with Raise Dead and Life Discharge, he probably could have soloed it.
Vossler: I could have too.
Tiamat: 'Cept you'd be stuck flashing the entire time. He hates you for some reason.
Hell Wyrm: So what was I, bait?
Tiamat, Vossler and Kai: Yeah, pretty much.
Hell Wyrm: *middle finger*

Behemoth King: Old Heller!
Hell Wyrm: *walks over* Don't call me that. -_-
Behemoth King: Wuteva. Can I go hang out with some friends?
Hell Wyrm: ...Are your legs working?
Behemoth King: Yeah....
Hell Wyrm: Then go. I have no idea why you are asking me, you are old enough to make your own decisions. Scratch that, you are OLD. >.>
Behemoth King: Thanks! :D
Hell Wyrm: Whatever >.>

*an hour later, Alteci and a bunch of Zaghnals walk in* (For some reason, that sounded geeky >.>)

Alteci: Yo, BK!
Behemoth King: Yo, wassup Al.
Alteci: *does a "gangster" handshake* Big King! I haven't seen you in a while.
Behemoth King: *handshakes with Zaghnals* Yeah, yeah, I've been busy. :)
Alteci: So wha'cha call us ova fo?
Behemoth King: I was thinkin we should go hang out, ya no, find a party with sum *******.
Alteci: Sounds great! Let's go!

*they leave*

Hell Wyrm: That... was uncomfortable. o_o
Kai: HW, GET OVER HERE! WE NEED YOU TO BE BAIT AGAIN!
Hell Wyrm: What?!? No wai.
Vossler: Come on! Moar players means it's more fun!
Hell Wyrm: Ugh... WAIT FOR ME! :D

*a day later*

Yiazmat: Dude, come with me.
Hell Wyrm: Don't bother me, I'm busy kicking ass. :D
Yiazmat: No, serious. You NEED to see this.
Kai: Go. Just don't be gone for long. >:P
Hell Wyrm: Where are we going?
Yiazmat: Just follow me >.>

*they portal to the Salikawood*

Hell Wyrm: What am I supposed to be seeing?
Yiazmat: Not see, smell.
Hell Wyrm: *takes a whiff* *Bleep*! What is that?
Yiazmat: Follow it and find out. >.>
Hell Wyrm: You didn't crap in a tree or anything did you?
Yiazmat: *snickers* No. -_-

*a little walk and...*

Behemoth King: *lying down, covered in blood and fur* @_@
Hell Wyrm: *Bleep*. WTF happened here? O.O
Yiazmat: They had a huge party and someone decided it would be "fun" to experiment with Pumpkin Heads. -_-
Hell Wyrm: Oh crap. Barney, I thought you knew better! >:(
Behemoth King: @_@ *pukes out a dead Zaghnal*
Yiazmat: Anyway... he ate everything. Pizza, chips, the guests. :o
Hell Wyrm: Oh god. -_-
Yiazmat: Shame. This was a good party.
Hell Wyrm: If you were here, why didn't you stop him?
Yiazmat: Because I was chatting up some guests and I left before they broke out the drugs. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Whatever. Help me take this guy home. I'm going to kick his ass.



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2008, 10:57:45 PM »
Hell Wyrm: Remind me to beat in his face when he wakes up.
Kai: 'Kay.
Vossler: You missed...Nothing. This epic douche *points at Kai* refuses to revive me or Tiamat when we die...
Kai: Hey, not my fault that you guys DON'T ****ING UNDERSTAND STAY THE **** AWAY FROM MIKTRAN! Let AI Stan do that!
Tiamat: Oh, and what am I supposed to do, kick rocks and make it rain fi-- ...oh.
Vossler: Yeah, but epic AI Stan won't juggle. He needs my FORCE FIELD and BOMB RAINS to do so.
Kai: Just stick to spamming EXPLODE and Holy Lance won't you?
Vossler: ... Fine. But once I get a juggle going, I'm going melee, too.
Kai: Good. Now that we have epic bait over there *points to Hell Wyrm*, juggles shouldn't be a prob. He likes Dankuuken anyway, so that should help.

[Whatever Hell Wyrm's HP in Game Over's later..]

Kai: I blame epic fail over there. *points at Hell Wyrm*
Hell Wyrm: Why?!
Vossler: Let's see here...

*flashback*

Kai: Alright, good rhythm we got going.
[screen]
Philia: Judgment-o! (whatever she says after a successful hit)! Judgment-o! (<---)
Rutee: SNIPE ROAR! SNIPE ROAR! SNIPE ROAR!
Lilith: Yakima! Yakima! (that's what it sounds like she's saying. Yakima as in Ya-key-maah, not yak-eh-muh).
Stan: SHISHISENKOU! *knocks Miktran onto the ground*
Miktran: *casts Divine Saber and proceeds to WTF us by using Black Wing*
Everyone: ....

*end flashback*

Tiamat: We had it going, so ****ing well. Then you HAD to make the lion pop out instead of Dankuuken spam like you usually do.
Hell Wyrm: We---
Vossler: Shut it, and beat the **** out of your son. We're joining in too.
Hell Wyrm: Okay.

*Everyone beats BK with a club made of rock salt and coated in acid*

Behemoth King: *seriously unconscious* x_x
Vossler: Amazing thing is that he will wake up in about a week and be fine. o_O
Kai: Whatever. Can we get back to what we were doing and actually BEAT Miktran before I die of old age?
Hell Wyrm: Screw this. *pushes Lindwyrm towards them* You, entertain them -_-
Lindwyrm: Why? o_O
Hell Wyrm: Because I'll impale you if you don't?
Kai: Well we don't need you anyway! >:(
Hell Wyrm: Well I don't give a *Bleep*! I'd like to see Polish boy over here generate enough electricity to even move the character through the wire! *stamps away angrily*
Lindwyrm: So... how do I use this thing? o_O
Vossler: Since you guys are too *Bleep* big to use the controller, the others just use some Thunder or Thundaga in Hell Wyrm's case~
Kai: Which practically overloaded the *Bleep* game and lagged the crap out of us. -_-
Vossler: ...to generate electricity to send it through the wire and play the game. >.>
Lindwyrm: Is Thundara okay?
Vossler: That will work.
Kai: Yeah yeah, anything will work. LET'S PLAY THE *Bleep* GAME! >:O

*meanwhile*

Yiazmat: Yay! I got past the first goom~ *gets killed by the second goomba* ARGH! D:<
Hell Wyrm: *drags Yiazmat by the tail* >:(
Yiazmat: Dude, WTF? What are you doing? I wanna play Super Mario! D:
Hell Wyrm: You'll find out in a second. *opens a portal and throws him in*

*they end up in Giruvegan*

Yiazmat: Okay... why did you take me out here? -_-
Hell Wyrm: I needed to get away from video games and the idiots who play them. Apparently, so do you.
Yiazmat: But why are we in... where is this place? o_O
Hell Wyrm: Giruvegan.
Yiazmat: Giruvegan?
Hell Wyrm: Because Barney lives here.
Yiazmat: He lives here? Wow. This place is huge. o_o
Hell Wyrm: Yeah, I know. *dives into the giant pool of surrounding the area*
Yiazmat: How far does this pool stretch?
Hell Wyrm: Not far. It's just the mist that makes it seem that way.
Yiazmat: So we are just going to stay here?
Hell Wyrm: Actually, I was planning to raid the Great Crystal later for treasure.
Yiazmat: Treasure? Oooh! Treasure! I like treasure! :D
Hell Wyrm: Yeah, yeah, treasure. Just leave me alone for a bit. Still angry. -_-

Yiazmat: Why are you angry?
Hell Wyrm: Because they accuse me of making them fail beating Miktran.
Yiazmat: It seems like you did.
Hell Wyrm: Shut it, Mr. I-spent-8-hours-and-over-9000-lives-on-Super-Mario's-first-Gooma.
Yiazmat: *slap*
Hell Wyrm: *raging anger*

[Meanwhile...back at the house]

Lindwyrm: *is playing Woody*

*Screen*

Woodrow: Dankuuken! Dankuuken! Dankuuken! Dankuuken! Dankuuken! Dankuuken! Dankuuken! Dankuuken! Dankuuken! Dankuuken!
Rutee: Slash Rai-Slash Rai-Slash Rai-Slash Rai-Slash Rai-Slash Rai-Slash Rai-Slash Rain!
Philia: Force Field-o! HORY RANSU! EXXU-STENSION! FORCE FIELD-O!
Lilith: MAMBO SENKOU!
Miktran: *blast calibur*

*everyone but Rutee dies O_o*

Rutee: *flash spam of cheapness*
Miktran: *fails*
Rutee: *Slash* *LIFE DISCHARGE*

*Vossler enters menu, and equips Philia with a Stan Naikiri doll*

Stan: ZAN! KU! TEN-SHOU-KENNNNNNNNNNNN!

*Back to party*

Vossler: YEAH! WHO OWNED?!
Kai: We owned!
Tiamat: We're lucky Kai ran away from his Slash Rain chain so he could Life Discharge us.
Kai: I'm lucky Vossler remembered to equip Philia with the Stan Naikiri doll. If he didn't we may not have won.
Lindwyrm: How'd I do?
Kai: Quite well, actually.
Lindwyrm: Yay?

[Back to the failures]

Hell Wyrm: *goes underwater*

*water begins to boil*

Yiazmat: Oh shi-------YEAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
Hell Wyrm: Ass.
Yiazmat: *rubbing ass* What was that for?!
Hell Wyrm: Slapping me.

Yiazmat: Are you... okay now?
Hell Wyrm: Shh... -_-
Yiazmat: It's been a day. o_o
Hell Wyrm: Wow. Really? I was wondering why I didn't look so rocky anymore. o_O
Yiazmat: Can we go now?
Hell Wyrm: I guess >.>

*at the waystone*

Yiazmat: So how do we use this thing? o_O
Hell Wyrm: I... don't know. *pokes it*

*Waystone activates*

Yiazmat: Hey it works!

*waystone stops working*

Yiazmat: What happened? D:
Hell Wyrm: According to the error message, we are about 100 tons over the weight limit. ._.
Yiazmat: One at a time then?
Hell Wyrm: Yeah....
Yiazmat: We are kinda big aren't we?
Hell Wyrm: Big is an understatement >.>

*they use the waystone and end up at Daedalus's area*

Yiazmat: Ooh! A statue! Lets take that and see how much we can sell it for! :D
Hell Wyrm: Sounds like a plan! :D

*Yiazmat goes to pick it up*

Daedalus: MMM! *shanks Yiazmat in the foot with it's sword*
Yiazmat: OW! WTF! D:
Hell Wyrm: It came to life! o_O
Daedalus: MMM! *swings sword*
Yiazmat: Why is my statue trying to hurt me? TT_TT
Hell Wyrm: I dunno. Maybe it's a guardian? >.>
Daedalus: MMM! *swings at the two treasure hunters*
Hell Wyrm: I'll handle this. *OMGWTFBBQJUDGMENT!*

*INSTANT K.O*

Daedalus: *collapse* x_x *turns back into statue*
Yiazmat: Yay! I have a statue again :D

*they use the next waystone*

Yiazmat: Whoa. O.O
Hell Wyrm: Whoa. O.O

*they gaze upon the Ancient City of Giruvegan*

Yiazmat: I forgot how big this place was. ._.
Hell Wyrm: Me too. ._.
Yiazmat: ...
Hell Wyrm: ...
Yiazmat: Let's go?
Hell Wyrm: Let's go! :D
Yiazmat: Alright! >:D

*they start nuking Behemoths and Gargoyle Barons with magicks and tearing **** apart with their POWAH*

Yiazmat: -.-
Hell Wyrm: I need to kill my *Bleep* child for living in such a stupid place.
Yiazmat: Duh.
Hell Wyrm: ...
Yiazmat: ?
Hell Wyrm: ALL THE CHESTS ARE EMPTY?!
Yiazmat: ... I'm going to find out who!
[SUPA LIBRA]
Vaan: (With all of these treasures I stole, I'll easily kick Yiazmat and Hell Wyrm's ass, with my best base stats! :3)
[End SUPA LIBRA]
Yiazmat and Hell Wyrm: *go off to kill Vaan*

[MEANWHILE]

Maria: Crescent Loc-Triple Kick!
Sophia: No! Noo!
Mirage: NOOOOOO!

Vossler: Kai, you cheat.
Tiamat: Yeah. No picky on Sophie!
Kai: We all know Maria > j00.
Tiamat: >:( You're banned from using Maria.
Kai: Fine >_> *picks Peppita*
Vossler: *picks LR Nel*
Tiamat: *picks Sophia...again*
Vossler: START!

[Screen]

Nel: Li-
Peppita: *major counter*
Nel: Ouchies!
Sophia: *short major's Nel in the back*
Nel: MORE OUCHIES!
Peppita: *short Major*
Nel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Players]

Vossler: You guys are asses, you know that?
Tiamat: No Lightning Chain abuse 4 u!
Kai: That's just as bad as Maria's Triple kick >_<

[30 seconds later]

Vossler: ... You're banned from using Peppy too.
Kai: D:

Hell Wyrm: According to this... he's in there.

*they stare out into the Great Crystal*

Yiazmat: Okay... how do we get there? o_O
Hell Wyrm: There's no railing here. I think we are supposed to step out into the... darkness o_o
Yiazmat: You go first. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Wuss. -_- *steps out*

*the platform activates*

Hell Wyrm: Let's go fool!
Yiazmat: This flimsy light is supposed to hold us? ._.
Hell Wyrm: Just go. -_-

*they reach the giant circle*

Hell Wyrm: I think there is supposed to be a waystone here.
Yiazmat: But there clearly isn't. -_-
???: RAWR! >:O

*Tyrant flies in from the distance*

Hell Wyrm: Who the **** is that? o_O
Yiazmat: Let's see o.o

*Tyrant runs in and dissolves the platform along the way*

Hell Wyrm: Dude, you're destroying the only way back! D:
Tyrant: RAWR! >:O
Yiazmat: Hey, you know how we can get into the giant crystal over there?
Tyrant: RAWR! >:O
Yiazmat: I think it's devoid of reason. o_O
Hell Wyrm: Like you? :P
Yiazmat: Oooh... low blow. >.>
Hell Wyrm: So... are you here to help us get in?
Tyrant: *tries to bite HW*
Hell Wyrm: Hey! What the hell?
Yiazmat: Hey! You're out of line! >:(
Tyrant: *stabs Yiazzy with its tail*
Yiazmat: OW! WTF! What is with the stuff here trying to cause me physical harm? D:
Tyrant: *uses Piercing Graviga* >:D

*IMMUNE*

Yiazmat: Did that thing just try to deal 25,056,127 damage to me? o_O
Hell Wyrm: I think it~ Wait. What?
Yiazmat: Half of my HP, dumbass >.>
Hell Wyrm: That's ironic. :P
Tyrant: *uses Blizzaga*
Hell Wyrm: OW!
Yiazmat: Oh hell no! KEEL IT! >:O
Hell Wyrm: RAWR! >:O

*they punch the crap out of it for an hour*

Tyrant: X_X
Hell Wyrm: What should we do with it?
Yiazmat: Eat it? o_O
Hell Wyrm: Eww. No. Besides, Rigor mortis already set in.
Yiazmat: So it's like a statue now?
Hell Wyrm: You wanna take it with us? o_O
Yiazmat: Moar decorations for the house. :D
Hell Wyrm: .... ALRIGHT! :D

*the waystone appears*



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2008, 10:58:17 PM »
Yiazmat: Lets go kick Vaan's butt! >:O
Hell Wyrm: I'd rather find more treasure :P

*they arrive inside the Great Crystal*

Hell Wyrm: *RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA---

[Meanwhile, back at Fafnir's house]

Sophia: TAKE THAT!
Roger: *insert deathcry here*

[Players]

Tiamat: RUN MOAR, NUB!
Vossler: Hah, you got pwned.
Tiamat: So did you.
Vossler: No..wtf?!

[Game]

Albel: *short minor*
Sophia: Ow...Ow...oow...stop that!...ow ow.....stop that!.... NOOOOO!
Albel: *victory speech here*

[Players]

Tiamat: That's what you get for hurting rojjer!
Vossler: He just loves stunlocking everyone we play >_<
Tiamat: No, I think Alby was his first stunlocker.
Vossler: Gr...
Kai: *picks Fayt*
Vossler: *picks Cliff*
Tiamat: *picks Cliff*

[Game]

Fayt: *running around in circles*
Cliff x 2: *following Fayt*

[Players]

Tiamat: RUN MOAR, NUB!
Vossler: I just have a bad feeling about this...

[Game]

Fayt: DIMENSION DOOR!
Cliff x 2: *MP Damage* *More MP damage* *more MP damage*
Fayt: *slash*
Cliff (Tiamat): *pwnified*
Cliff (Vossler): AERIAL ASSAULT!
Fayt: NOOOO!

[Players]

Kai: D:
Vossler: Finally, I win.
Tiamat: U HAX!

TO BAH CONTINUED...

O WAET!

[Hell Wyrm]

Hell Wyrm: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR*
Vaan: *pops into room, dead with treasures surrounding his body*

Hell Wyrm: *cough* >_<
Yiazmat: I CAN'T HEAR A *Bleep* THING! D:<
Hell Wyrm: Why do you think he was here? o_O
Yiazmat: WHAT?
Hell Wyrm: I said why do you think he was here?
Yiazmat: WHAT?
Hell Wyrm: I SAID WHY DO YOU THINK HE WAS HERE? >:O
Yiazmat: WHAT?
Hell Wyrm: *smacks Yiaz* I know you heard me. -_-
Yiazmat: But you didn't need to hit me. D:
Hell Wyrm: So why do you think he was here?
Yiazmat: How the hell should I know? You should revive him and find out. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Wutevar. >.>

*revives Vaan*

Vaan: Ohhh... >_<
Hell Wyrm: C'mon, shake it off >.>
Vaan: WTF! You again! This time I'm ready! >:D

*reaches around for... nothing*

Hell Wyrm: Yeah... you are unarmed. :P *grabs Vaan*
Vaan: LEMME GO! D:
Hell Wyrm: Tell me why you are here first.
Vaan: NEVA! >:O
Hell Wyrm: Okay. *opens mouth* :D
Vaan: OMG NO! I'LL TELL YOU! D:
Yiazmat: Works every time, doesn't it? XD
Hell Wyrm: Yup. Now spit it out!
Vaan: Penelo told me of this gigantic treasure chest in the Great Crystal that had lots of weapons that I could use to kick your butts.
Hell Wyrm: Really? Hmm...
Yiazmat: Let's go get the treasure, Hellie! :D
Hell Wyrm: I'm pretty sure this guy gets ridiculed a lot.
Yiazmat: BUT THERE'S WEAPONS! :O
Hell Wyrm: ... Okay!
Vaan: Can you let me go now? D:
Hell Wyrm: No.
Yiazmat: We are taking him along with us? o_O
Hell Wyrm: I'm not letting him go to get stuff to harm us. >.>
Yiazmat: Good point. *takes Vaan and ties him to Hell Wyrm's leg*
Hell Wyrm: Dude! Why am I carrying him?
Yiazmat: Your idea? :P
Hell Wyrm: Whatever. >.>
Vaan: No sudden movements please! D:
Hell Wyrm: Okay.

*He shakes Vaan violently in the air*

Vaan: AHHHHH! D:< *pukes*
Hell Wyrm: EWW! That's nasty!
Yiazmat: Well, you shouldn't have shook him. :P
Vaan: Ohhh... >_<

*Several hours later*
Hell Wyrm: What's that I feel against mah leg..EWWWW!
Yiazmat: ?
Hell Wyrm: *takes Vaan and smears him into a bloody mess against Yiazmat's butt cheeks*
Yiazmat: Aw, WHAT THE ****, DUDE?!
Hell Wyrm: He got a [insert naughty sex term of choice here]
Yiazmat: O_o. Seriously?
Hell Wyrm: No. But his nagging was driving me crazy.
Yiazmat: -.-
Hell Wyrm: We all know that my *Bleep* child's going to----

Hell Wyrm: Whoa. o_o
Yiazmat: *cleans off the bloody mess and revives Vaan* What? -_-
Hell Wyrm: I totally forgot what I was going to say when we transitioned into the next chapter.
Yiazmat: A senior moment perhaps? :P
Hell Wyrm: Yea...no.

*cue Yin and Yang with Vaan at the Sagittarius diamond*

Yiazmat: Crap. This waystone won't work. D:
Hell Wyrm: Let's try going down one of these paths.

*after walking through a sea of Mom Bombs...*

Vaan: You guys are brilliant, you know that?
Hell Wyrm: We know. ^_^
Vaan: Yep. Brilliant. Because you took us in a complete circle back to the waystone. -_-
Hell Wyrm: WTF?
Yiazmat: Let's just try the other paths. >.>

*after an hour*

Yiazmat: WTF is this place?!? D:
Hell Wyrm: How the hell did we waste an hour going through 4 paths?
Vaan: You tell me. I'm tied to your arm. >.>
Hell Wyrm: And I'm about to turn you into a bloody smear against the waystone in a moment if you don't shut your mouth. >:(
Vaan: How about, I don't know... unlock one of the two gates on either side?
Hell Wyrm: Oh yeah... didn't see those there. ._.
Vaan: Now just go through the diamond and unlock the doors with the pedestal and we can move along. >.>
Yiazmat: Or... we can just do this. *touches the gate and makes it disappear*
Vaan: Or that. Now let's go! D:
Hell Wyrm: We'll take our time, thank you. >.>

*they arrive at the Leo gate*

Yiazmat: Isn't the Excalibur supposed to be stored in a chest around here?
Hell Wyrm: HISS! D:<
Yiazmat: WTF dude? o.O
Hell Wyrm: I hate the Excalibur... it hurts me. TT_TT
Yiazmat: Not my fault you are pure evil. :P

*they reach the place where the Excalibur is and find... an empty chest*

Yiazmat: Oh noes! We've been beaten to the Excalibur! D:
Hell Wyrm: That's just ******* great. I can expect to be whacked by it in the next week or so now. *facepalm* -_-
Vaan: There's still other stuff here you know. Like the gigantic treasure chest I told you about?
Yiazmat: Yeah, lets go. I wants mah treasure! :D
Hell Wyrm: There's still a chest here. *opens it and finds...* A ring?
Vaan: *takes it* Ooh! This is a Sage Ring. :D
Hell Wyrm: Gimme that! I should break your arms for that.
Yiazmat: Well as long as you have that, you don't have to worry about Holy attacks ever as it heals you now. :P
Hell Wyrm: Really? AWESOME! :D

*accidentally drops the ring into the Great Abyss*

Hell Wyrm: TT_TT
Yiazmat: LMAO! XD
Vaan: Can we go now? D:

Hell Wyrm: Hmm. This works better.
Yiazmat: You look like a freak.
Hell Wyrm: That's not what you said last night.
Vaan: *enjoys furries*
Yiazmat: Touche.
Hell Wyrm: Why, thank you. Now let's get going-desu.
Yiazmat: I'll go, if you promise never to desu again.
Hell Wyrm: Fine.
Vaan: *is sad*

*MEANWHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE*

Penelo: *voink*
Ashe: WTF?!
Basch: Where'd she go?
Balthier: Who cares? Let's go find her and save her!
Ashe: We can't.
Balthier: Why?
Ashe: We don't have a safety mat.
Fran: *deploys her [insert object here] as a giant safety mat*
Ashe: O_o.
Penelo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAearpiercingscreamAAAAAAh! *falls onto Fran's [insert object here]*
Fran: My [insert object here] comes in handy.
Ashe: O_o.

Vaan: ZzZzZzZz *drool*
Hell Wyrm: Aww... look. He's sleeping.
Yiazmat: How cute.
Hell Wyrm: Yep.

*he shakes Vaan violently*

Vaan: AHHH! WTF MAN? D:<
Yiazmat: XD
Hell Wyrm: XD

*the third layer of the Great Crystal...*

Vaan: Is there any chance that you'll untie me from your arm? >_>
Hell Wyrm: Nope.
Vaan: Oh come on! What can I do? I'm unarmed!
Hell Wyrm: You're right. *unties Vaan*
Vaan: Thanks! :D *hauls ass*
Yiazmat: OMG! He's getting away! Why did you let him go?
Hell Wyrm: Don't worry. Just watch. ;D
Vaan: Eat my dust you ass~ *THUD*

*hits a gate*

Vaan: WTF!

*runs again but hits the other gate*

Vaan: Oh crap. ._.
Hell Wyrm: Are you done yet? >.>
Vaan: So you let me go just to watch me run into gates, knowing that the only way out is blocked.
Hell Wyrm: Yep.
Vaan: Why?...
Hell Wyrm: I'm evil that's why. >.>
Vaan: .... *facepalm*
Hell Wyrm: You going to tie yourself to my arm or what?
Vaan: Whatever. *ties himself down* TT_TT
Hell Wyrm: Remember: this is your fault that this is happening to you. >.>
Yiazmat: Can we go now? I want mah treasure! D:

[OMG WTF Barbie Girl STARTS TO PLAY]

Hell Wyrm: *answers Wyrm-sized Cell Phone* Hello.
Vaan & Yiazmat: pffftt
Hell Wyrm: Shut it, you pair of asses. Oh, sorry, what? Uh huh.... WTF?! Okay, see you later.
Yiazmat: What happened?
Hell Wyrm: Penelo was randomly telepor----
Vaan: PENELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hell Wyrm: *shakes his arm vigorously, and bashes it into the wall several times* Done yet?
Vaan: Yes.
Hell Wyrm: As I was saying, before Super Ass tied to my arm so rudely interrupted, Penelo was teleported 20,000 feet into the air.
Yiazmat: And then?
Hell Wyrm: Then Fran deployed her [insert object here] as a safety mat, and prevented Penelo from going *squish*
Yiazmat: Her [insert object here]?
Hell Wyrm: No, her [insert other object here]. Yes her [insert object here] you dunderhead.

[Meanwhile....]

Penelo: I can't believe I landed on Fran's [insert object here].
Ashe: Hey, at least you didn't go *squish* on the side walk.
Fran: I told you my [insert object here] work.
Ashe: Sorry for doubting your [insert object here], Playboy Bu---Fran.
Fran: Thank you. And I am a Playboy bunny. Nobody just knows it yet, except you.

Hell Wyrm: Hey look! A chest! :D
Yiazmat: WOO! TREASURE! :D

*they open it and find...*

Vaan: A Brave Suit?
Hell Wyrm: What can we do with this? o_O
Yiazmat: Wear it?
Hell Wyrm: ...
Vaan: ...
Yiazmat: What?
Vaan: You aren't serious. -_-
Yiazmat: Uh, yeah. I am. <_<
Hell Wyrm: Look at it, then look at yourself.
Yiazmat: So? I can fit this. o.o
Vaan: LMAO! XD
Hell Wyrm: That thing would probably fit a 6 foot humanoid being. You on the other hand are almost 20x that size. >.>
Yiazmat: OH YEAH? WATCH MEH FIT IT! :O
Hell Wyrm: That'll be the day. XD
Yiazmat: Turn around! I don't need you to see me change! >.>
Hell Wyrm: Dude. We run around naked all the time. We're not people. -_-
Yiazmat: Turn around...
Hell Wyrm: Wutevah. >.>

*a half an hour of grunts and expletives later*

Hell Wyrm: ZzZzZzZz...
Vaan: *snore...*
Yiazmat: I'm done! :D
Hell Wyrm: What? -_o
Vaan: *yawn* Finally.

*they turn around*

Yiazmat: How does it look? :D
Hell Wyrm: O.O
Vaan: WTF? O.O
Yiazmat? Well? >.>
Hell Wyrm: ROFL! XD
Vaan: LMAO! XD
Yiazmat: Come now! I don't look that bad, do I?
Vaan: Look at it! Can you breathe? XD
Hell Wyrm: That suit is crying man!
Brave Suit: TT_TT
Yiazmat: *Bleep*! D:

*takes it off... which takes an hour*

Nene: Oh dear! That giant dragon that could bite me in half needs help!
Kunoichi: We better go help him!

*they help Yiazmat take the suit off*

Yiazmat: Thank you, la--*looks down*. Excuse me for a moment. *walks off*
Hell Wyrm: Oh, crap. *unties Vaan and leaves*
Vaan: YESSSSSS!
Nene: Vaan, you have been a naughty boy.
Kunoichi: Uh oh...
Nene: IT'S TIME FOR PUNISHMENT

*the rest of this post has been censored, to keep this from becoming obsessively violent.*

Hell Wyrm: *pokes a bloody mess* Is that what's left of Vaan?
Yiazmat: Wait, part of him is over here!
Hell Wyrm: Where?
Yiazmat: *chew, chew, chew, swallow* IN MAH BELLY! >:O
Hell Wyrm: ... *facepalm*
Yiazmat: You can revive him with what's left. :P
Hell Wyrm: And what's left?
Yiazmat: His turtleshell abs.
Hell Wyrm: He had turtleshell abs because you put him back together the wrong way the last time he was eviscerated. -_-
Yiazmat: Now you can fix it. :D

*cue the duo at the waystones before the treasure*



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2008, 10:58:51 PM »
Vaan: Hey! My abs are fixed :D
Hell Wyrm: Yeah >.>
Yiazmat: How many waystones are there? This must be the 3rd pair. o_O

*one more waystone later and...*

Yiazmat: Do you see what I see?
Hell Wyrm: I see what you see. Do you see what I see?
Vaan: Yes I do.
All: TREASURE! :D

*they run towards the giant treasure chest.*

Yiazmat: Okay, we found it. How do you open it?
Hell Wyrm: Pssh. You poke it like all the other ones. *pokes giant treasure chest*
Yiazmat: It didn't open.
Hell Wyrm: Let me try again. *pokes again*
Vaan: How about you whack it instead? >.>
Hell Wyrm: Eh. Sounds like a plan.

*WHAX TREASURE CHEST*

Chest: *twitch*
Yiazmat: It moved o.o
Chest: *begins to open*
Hell Wyrm: Yay! It's opening :D
Vaan: Ooh! Ooh! What's inside?
Yiazmat Give it a moment there.
Chest: *FIREZ ITS LAZOR*
Yiazmat: OMFG! IT FIRED A LASER! D:
Hell Wyrm: Why is my treasure trying to attack me? D:
Vaan: It's not treasure? >.>
Omega MK XII: *in a hot, automated woman's voice* Warning. Defense mechanism has been triggered. Please step away from me or I will not miss again.
Hell Wyrm: Whoa.
Yiazmat: *Bleep*. That voice is turning me on.
Hell Wyrm: You do know it's willing to harm us right?
Yiazmat: I know but that voice is just so *Bleep* sexy! D:
Hell Wyrm: It's a VOICE! -_-
MK. II: Attack mode triggered. Run for your lives ******-*******.
Yiazmat: Did it just say run for your lives mothe~

*LAZOR*

Yiazmat: AHH! *falls and dodges it* HA! YOU MISSED! Come Hell Wyrm! Let's counterattack!... Hellie?
Hell Wyrm: *at the zone line* You have fun with that! Bye naow!
Vaan: *still tied to HW's arm* I hope you enjoy the treasure! We don't want it!
Yiazmat: OMG! D:
MK II: Acquiring target. Target found.
Yiazmat: CMON! LETS PLAY EXTREME LASER TAG! :O
MK II: *fires a bunch of lasers*
Yiazmat: MAAAAATRIIIIXX! *imitates heartbeat and dodges those suckers*
MK II: *shoots Yiazzy in the foot*
Yiazmat: OW! You cheated! D:
MK II: *fires moar lasers*
Yiazmat: OMG! *rolls around to dodge them*
MK II: Increasing voltage to laser.
Yiazmat: Oh snap! I better GE TE EF OH!

*ge te ef ohz*

Hell Wyrm: Did you have fun? >.>
Yiazmat: Yep! We played laser tag! :D
Hell Wyrm: ... *facepalm* Let's get out of here. -_-

Omega Mk. XII: *chasing the two Wyrms*
Hell Wyrm: Oh s------*pulled by Yiazmat*
Yiazmat: *gets on twos, grabs Hell Wyrm by the collar, and drags him at breakneck speeds*

[Meanwhile]

Nene: Do you hear something?
Kunoichi: Ye---OH MY GOD! HIT THE DECK!

*Yiazmat and Hell Wyrm barely miss smashing Kunoichi and Nene into bits*

Nene: Well, we better grab this thing's attention, so those two buffoons can escape!
Kunoichi: What's the plan? Plan Yoshimoto ball kicking?
Nene: Nah, too risky. How about plan Sakon!
Kunoichi: Sounds good! HEY! YOU! BIG-LASER-BOT-THING! DOWN HERE! GOOD LUCK! *cloak*
Nene: *clones self* *hops on Omega's back*
Omega: *Targeting lazors at Kunoichi*
Kunoichi: Haa...WHEE! *chops off a lazor*
Omega: *lazors Kunoichi*
Kunoichi: *ish cloaked*
Omega: *miss*

[meanwhile]

Nene: *Bleep*! I remember Lord Hideyoshi and Sakon telling me what to do with a giant robot. I'll just tear out all of these wire instead.
Kunoichi: HEY, NENE! HURRY IT UP!
Nene: ALRIGHT! ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! GET UP HERE!
Kunoichi: *jumps up* Hm?
Nene: I need you to tear these wires to shreds!
Kunoichi: Alright. Hey, Omega! Die for me, will ya? *spins around like tornado, shredding up wires*
Nene: Tiem for punishment! *tears up more wires*

Omega: *in that smexy automated woman's voice* 30% of circuits damaged. Activating regeneration mode.

*giant sparks fly where the wires have been split*

Nene and Kunoichi: AHH! Dx *falls off*
Omega: Circuits repaired. System running at optimum efficiency. Increasing voltage to laser.
Nene: Ohh... OH CRAP! Get up Kunoichi! D:
Omega: *fires its laser*
Nene: You'll never take us alive! >:O

*kicks Kunoichi aside and backflips as the laser flies by only inches from his face*

Nene: *smacks Kunoichi awake*
Kunoichi: Ow! What did you do that for?
Nene: I'm not sure if you wanted to die yet so I woke you up. >.>
Kunoichi: Oh... well tha~ *kicks Nene away as another laser flies by*
Nene: Stop firin your lazors at us! >:O
Omega: Then get the **** out.
Kunoichi: Whoa. That thing talks. o.o

*meanwhile*

Yiazmat: Is it safe? D:
Hell Wyrm: GET OFF OF ME! *throws Yiazmat by the arm*
Yiazmat: What the hell was that for?!? I just saved your life!
Hell Wyrm: We could have taken that thing on!
Yiazmat: WHAT? Then why didn't you help me? >:(
Hell Wyrm: Because... we had a guest.
Vaan: Oh yeah. Nice save. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Just sh~ Whoa. o_o
Yiazmat: What?
Hell Wyrm: Look... *points towards the bright light*
Vaan: That's bright. o_o
Yiazmat: Ooooh, shiny. o_o

*they stare at it for a while...*

Nene: NOW I REMEMBER!
Kunoichi: Does it involve me distracting again?
Nene: Yes. *whistles*
Hideyoshi: You called, honey?
Nene: We need your help!
Hideyoshi: In what?
Kunoichi: Jeez, ya big monkey, OF COURSE!
Hideyoshi: Okay, okay! It's simple. Cover me while I ready the "object".
Kunoichi: Alright. Let's go, Nene!

[Meanwhile]

Hell Wyrm: I feel terrible.
Yiazmat: Why?
Hell Wyrm: Because we left those two ladies back there.
Yiazmat: We should go back, huh?
Hell Wyrm: No, we should eat Vaan. Yes, let's go back.

[Back to two ninjas + monkey dood]

Hideyoshi: Kunoichi! Catch!
Kunoichi: *catches* Alright! Now what?!
Nene: Hand it to me!
Kunoichi: *throws "object" to Nene* Hey, was that one of Yoshimoto's kemaris?
Nene: Yeah! *opens Omega's "brains, and shoves kemari in* HIT THE ****ING DECK!

[Fassive explosion later]

Omega: *sizzle* ---
Nene: *cough* Is everyone okay? >_<
Kunoichi: Yeah.
Hideyoshi: *Bleep*! My forehead is bumping! Let's get out of here and get wasted. >_<
Nene: Sounds like a plan. :O

*they leave through the waystones.*

*meanwhile*

Hell Wyrm: Okay... I don't know how to get back. o_O
Yiazmat: Let's try that waystone right over there.

*they use the waystone*

Hell Wyrm: Okay, now where are we?
Yiazmat: There's a lot of mist here. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Let's go.

*they open the giant door thingy*

Vaan: Hey what's that?

*giant, swirly mass of mist comes down and reveals... Shemhazai. o_O*

Hell Wyrm: Hey! It's Shemhazai! :D
Yiazmat: Eww, Shemhazai. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Why do you hate her? o_O
Yiazmat: Because you sent her to annoy me and despite her name, she's not a Whisperer; she's actually pretty ******* loud. -_-
Shemhazai: *raises her guns* I'm going to keel you for sealing me here! >:O
Yiazmat: See? She's one loud mother~
Vaan: Shut your mouth. >.>
Hell Wyrm: I don't want to fight her. D:
Yiazmat: Well, neither do I. I'm tired from playing laser tag with Omega. >.>

*they look at Vaan*

Vaan: What? o.o
Hell Wyrm: *unties Vaan* Go ahead :o
Vaan: I have no weapons. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Not a problem. *puts an Amber Armlet on him*
Vaan: ...I have my Brawler license >.>
Hell Wyrm: Gimme that back then. Set him up, Yiazzy.
Vaan: Set me up with what? o_O
Yiazmat: *Berserk, Bravery, and Hastes Vaan* GIT SOME! >:O
Vaan: RAWR! D:<

*Jet Li's, Jackie Chan's, and Bruce Lee's the crap out of Shemhazai in a minute*

Shemhazai: ACK! x_x

*Lol Victory cutscene.*

*meanwhile*

Omega: ---

*it goes back online and repairs itself*

Omega: *in that oh-so-sexy automated woman's voice* DUN DUN DUN~.... Eww, I'm covered in dust. Time for some wax on, wax off...

*stomps away*

Hideyoshi: So, Ne-*lazor'd before sex offer/comment*
Nene: Oh ****.
Kunoichi: Not again!
Nene: I know! *shows lady lumps*
Omega XII: *wolfwhistle*
Kunoichi: NENE!
Nene: Take'z off your top. If the controller gets horny enough, he'll do naughty things with his hand. That'll fry the computer when he's "done"
Kunoichi: Yeah, but the thing has a chick voice!
Nene: I just know it's a guy.
Kunoichi: *shows her lady lumps*

*INSIDE OMEGA*
Pervy Red Neck: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAW!

Omega: *aslpodes*

Nene:*puts top back on* Told you.
Kunoichi: *buttons shirt* Nice.
Nene: Let's drag this monkey out of here. *they leave*

*cue Vaan, Yin and Yang at that platform in the...sky? o_O*

Hell Wyrm: Whoa.
Yiazmat: How the hell did we get here? o_O
Hell Wyrm: Didn't that waystone have an inscription on it?
Yiazmat: What inscri~ ooh look! Statues! :D

*goes to pick one up but then the Occurians come out*

Gerun: *in that annoying warbling voice of his* Who dares disturb my slumber? >:O
Vaan: You aren't the tiger head from Aladdin. >.>
Gerun: Quiet, mortal!
Vaan: Who are you guys?
Slagathor: (Lmao I made up a name for an Occurian, guess where it came from. xD ) We are the Occurians, the Gods of Ivalice.
Yiazmat: Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Wait a minute!... Did he say, Gods of Ivalice?
Hell Wyrm: I think he did.
Yiazmat: >_>
Hell Wyrm: <_<
Both: *Literal Rolling on the Floor Laughing* xD
Yiazmat: He said "Gods"! xD
Hell Wyrm: And-and then! He said "of Ivalice"! xD
Vaan: o_O
Slagathor: Why are you laughing?!? >:(
Gerun: We should condemn you two fools to death!
Yiazmat: O.O
Hell Wyrm: O.O
Both: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! XD
Hell Wyrm: This guy is a comedian! XD
Yiazmat: I...can't...feel...my...sides! XD
Gerun: QUIET! WITNESS THE POWER! >:O

*kills Vaan*

Vaan: x_x
Yiazmat: *stops laughing* I'M... I'MA SHAKING IN MAH BOOTS! O.O
Hell Wyrm: ...You don't have boots.
Yiazmat: I know. Those would be some pretty big boots, wouldn't they? :o
Hell Wyrm: I don't want to think of the foot odor. :P
Yiazmat: Pssh. My feet don't smell ;) *revives Vaan*
Vaan: Ohhhhhh~ >_<
Gerun: What the... we've condemned him to death! Who are you to reverse our decisions?!? >:(
Yiazmat: Silly *****, do you know who I am? I'M YIAZMAT, *****!
Hell Wyrm: And I'm Hell Wyrm. :o
Yiazmat: Team Rocket blast off at the speed of~ OW! *is shot* D:
Vaan: You got issues saying that line. -_-
Hell Wyrm: Where did you pull that Fomalhaut from? >.>
Vaan: It was on the floor.
Hell Wyrm: ...Good one. I wanted to shoot him myself. -_-
Yiazmat: Anyway... like I was saying before I got shot, we own Ivalice, fool. >.>
Gerun: How dare you impersonate us! Prepare to die! >:(

*Shocks Yiazmat*

Yiazmat: *doesn't feel anything* What was that?
Hell Wyrm: I dunno. Let's get out of here with our treasure. >.>
Yiazmat: But where's the exit? o_O
Gerun: We've sealed all the exits! You cannot escape! MWAHAHAHA! >:)
Hell Wyrm: ORLY? *charges laser*
Yiazmat: Bai funny talking thingies! :D
Gerun: What's goin~

*JUDGMENT*

*EPIC ASPLOSION*

*the floor shatters*

Hell Wyrm: Whee!!! :D
Yiazmat: Haha! :D
Vaan: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! D:<

*they land a pool of water near the Giruvegan gate*



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2008, 10:59:21 PM »
Vaan: *cough* >_<
Hell Wyrm: C'mon! Let's get home with our treasure! :D
Yiazmat: You don't have to tell me twice! :D

Vaan: I'm leaving. I have no idea what will happen to me if I keep following you two idiots.

*the screen fades into shadows*

[Insert epic squish here]

*camera comes back, as I finish wiping the camera with a bloody rag*

Yiazmat: Oops, sowwies.
Hell Wyrm: Good job, you idiot. You ruined all the donuts and coffee!
Yiazmat: Well sorry.
Nene: I'm back! Where's my donut?
Hell Wyrm: He ruined all the coffee and donuts by smashing Vaan.
Nene: What?! YOU RUINED MY COFFEE AND DONUTS?!
Kunoichi: *whispers to Hell Wyrm* We'd better leave... because it's----
Nene: TIEM FOR PUNISHMENT!
Hell Wyrm: Good idea. *picks up Kunoichi and they flee*
Nene: *charges Yiazmat*

*screen fades black*

[Insert Yiazmat screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]

*camera comes back, with me wiping off Yiazmat's blood and tears*

Nene: And don't make me punish you again.

Yiazmat: *peeks out from under his wing* Is...is it over? O.O
Hell Wyrm: Dude... what did she do?
Yiazmat: To be honest... I don't know. o_o
Hell Wyrm: You don't know?
Yiazmat: I don't know.
Hell Wyrm: Then what's with the blood and tears? >.>
Yiazmat: I think she kicked me in my eye. *rubs eye* >_<
Hell Wyrm: Whoa.
Yiazmat: *stands up* What?
Hell Wyrm: Look down. >.>
Yiazmat: What? *looks down* Oh.

*huge gaping hole in chest*

Yiazmat: That is so weird. *puts hand (or claw or...whatever) inside*
Hell Wyrm: Maybe you should close that up. >.>
Yiazmat: Yeah... *pokes lung* Cool. :D
Hell Wyrm: So that's how we look on the inside. -_-
Yiazmat: Yep. *pulls out heart and sniffs it*
Hell Wyrm: ...You got issues.
Yiazmat: Oh please... *licks heart and smacks lips*
Hell Wyrm: O.O *runs off and pukes*
Yiazmat: Ew.... that tastes HORRIBLE. >_< *puts it back and seals up the wound*
Hell Wyrm: Can we go back now? -_-
Yiazmat: Yeah. I'm hungry.

Hell Wyrm: You're always hungry, fat ass.
Yiazmat: I am not!
Hell Wyrm: Oh yeah?

*flashback*
Yiazmat: *burp* I'm hungry.
[Thousands of corpses on Giza Plains]
*end flashback*

*flashback*
Yiazmat: *burp* I'm hungry
[Several million Wyrm-sized plates stacked up]
*end flashback*

*flash---*

Yiazmat: Ok, ok, I get it. I eat a little too much.
Hell Wyrm: A "little"?
Yiazmat: Ok, ok. Waay too much.
Hell Wyrm: Thank you.
Yiazmat: I wonder what Nene's up to when she isn't punishing naughty childrens.
Kunoichi: Well...

*flashback*
Kunoichi: *opens door into Nene's bedroom* Hey Nene---OH MY GOD *flees*
[Nene fornicating with Hideyoshi]
*end flashback*

Kunoichi: She volunteers at the local be-I mean hospital.

*after a long trip back to Faf's place*

Hell Wyrm: We're ho~
Yiazmat: I'M HUNGREH! D: *is face-floored*
Hell Wyrm: And we brought treasure! :D
Yiazmat: *rubs head* Where is everyone? >_>
Hell Wyrm: Good question.
Yiazmat: Actually, a better question would be why does it smell like a thousand asses in here? o_O
Hell Wyrm: I think you account for about 985 of those asses. >.>
Yiazmat: -_-

*they check the rooms*

Yiazmat: Nothing in here.
Hell Wyrm: Nothing in here either.
Yiazmat: The smell is getting stronger though. >.>
???: *slurred* WUT IZ LUV?!?
Yiazmat: What the **** was that? o_O
Hell Wyrm: I think it came from the hot spring.

*they go to the hot spring*

Yiazmat: OH *Bleep*! *covers nose* D:
Hell Wyrm: *facepalm* -_-

*several decapitated Mandragoras and the half-eaten corpses of Lindwyrm, Fafnir, and Tiamat are lying around. Oh yeah, he used corpses of Kai and Vossler as floss* >.>

Behemoth King: *covered in blood* BABY DUN HURT MI! DUN HURT MI! NO MOAR! @_@
Hell Wyrm: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? >:O
Yiazmat: A high from Mandragoras is what's wrong with him. >.>
Hell Wyrm: *face-floors Yiazmat again* Don't interrupt me, Yiaz.
Behemoth King: WUT IZ LUV? @_@
Yiazmat: ...Just get over here and revive everyone. He's stoned like the Tomb of Raithwall. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Was...was that a pun? -_-
Yiazmat: MOVE IT HELEN! >:O

*they repair and revive everyone in an hour*

Tiamat: I'MA KEEL YOU! >:O
Fafnir: NO WAI! I'M GONNA KEEL HIM! >:O
Lindwyrm: QUIET FOOLZ! I'M GONNA KEEL HIM! >:O
Tiamat: DID HE *insert inappropriate word* YOU BEFORE BITING YOUR HEAD OFF?!?
Lindwyrm and Fafnir: ...you win. ._.
Hell Wyrm: If you three won't SHUT THE HELL UP RIGHT NOW, I'll keel all three of you. >:(
Them: :x
Hell Wyrm: *drags BK by the mane inside* Oh boy.
Behemoth King: Lemme go. ur killin mah hi @_@
Hell Wyrm: *throws him inside* KAI! GET THE BELL! I'm kicking his ass.
Kaikuro: Okay. ._.
Yiazmat: Ooh! Come on guys! There's going to be a ass-kicking! :D

*they go inside*

Vossler: This match is a Parental ass-kicking match scheduled for~
Hell Wyrm: SHUT UP! >:(
Kai: *rings bell* ._.
Hell Wyrm: RAWR! >:O
Behemoth King: WUT IS LUV? BABY DUN~ @_@ *is stopped in mid-high-induced-song*

Kai: 5 bucks says I have to wipe the camera again.
Vossler: 5 bucks says you're gonna need a squeegee.
Lindwyrm: Shh. Epic fight is about to begin

*epic fight begin!*

Hell Wyrm: I CALL UPON THE DARK WRATH OF HELL! I SUMMON THEE! PAIN!
*giant foot smashes Behemoth King into paste*

Kai: Or not.

*Kai and Vossler give each other 5 bucks*

*Kai cleans camera*

Yiazmat: Was that necessary?
Behemoth King: Ba---
Kai: Sing one more time, and you'll never have children.
Behemoth King: ...by do---
Vossler: Sing one more time, and we'll have to send Nene in.
Yiazmat: O_O Oh snap.
Hell Wyrm and Kunoichi: Oh ****.
Lindwyrm: Who's Nene?
Yiazmat: *asplains*
Tiamat: O_o
Fafnir: O_o

*Behemoth King begins to sing*

Kai: EVERYONE! FLEE NOW! *releases Nene into room*

Nene: *cracks neck* EEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! >:O
Behemoth King: --hurt me. Don't hurt me. No moa~ @_@

*PUNISHED*

Behemoth King: WHAT IS LOVE? BABY DON'T~unhhh~ *collapse*

*Nene walks out of the room*

Tiamat: So how did it go? Did he suffer? D:
Nene: See for yourself. VOSS! KAI! Let's go get wasted! :D
Vossler: I'm already out the door! :D
Kai: Wait for mee! D:
Kunoichi: *Bleep* it Nene! You know what happen when you get booze! D:

*the four leave while the others walk in the room*

Lindwyrm: DAAAA~
Fafnir: AAAAAAA~
Tiamat: AMNNNN! O_O
Behemoth King: *unconscious and bleeding* x_x
Hell Wyrm: Now that he got what was coming to him, how did he get the Mandragoras? -_-
Tiamat: The Onions invited them over to ice skate. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Wow. Really? o_O
Tiamat: Yep. Those poor, poor mandragoras. TT_TT
Hell Wyrm: So what happened to the Wild Onions?
Lindwyrm and Tiamat: Uhh... >_>

*flashback*

Lindwyrm: *chows down on a Wild Onion*
Tiamat: Should we be eating these? *already stuck an onion in her mouth by the word "we"*
Lindwyrm: How long did we wait for this stuff to wo~ Whoa. *collapse*
Tiamat: OMG! Are you al~ *collapse*
Lindwyrm: HOLY **** TIA! Luuk at yur hand! @_@
Tiamat: *holds up a foot* WHOA! IT'S... @_@
Lindwyrm: *stares at hand It's like... scaly and... sharp and stuff. @_@
Tiamat: REELY? *starts scratching head with foot* OH SNAP IT IS! *is bleeding* @_@

*end flashback*

Tiamat: *covers head* I don't know. >_>
Lindwyrm: <_<
Hell Wyrm: Ugh *facepalm*

Kai: *drinks yet another shot*
Vossler: Jeez, how many shots of vodka have you had?!
Nene: Let's see... 29,941,203. That that was his 29,941,204th.
Vossler: O_o Shouldn't you be dead from alcohol poisoning by now?
Kai: Nope.
Vossler: *tries to drink another shot*
Kunoichi: God *Bleep* Voss, you've already had a -- oh *Bleep*. To late, he's screwed.
Nene: Hm?
Vossler: *is having seizure*
Nene: That's what you get for trying to outman the Kai.
Kai: Huh? Outman me? This is non-alcoholic vodka.
Nene: Oh. Jeez, can't you revive him or something?
Kai: Nope. My little bro could (don't actually have a little bro), but he's not here right now.
Nene: Oh. Well, let's go home.
Kunoichi: I'll drag him -.-

MEANWHILE...

Yiazmat: Holy ****.
Hell Wyrm: What?
Lindwyrm: OH MY GOD!
Tiamat: O_O *dies of shock*
Hell Wyrm: *revives Tiamat* WHAT?!
Yiazmat: She cut off his ****. AND SMEARED IT INTO THE WALL.
Fafnir: Yeah, I'm not cleaning that up.
Hell Wyrm: Don't worry. My good for nothing *Bleep* child will do it.

Yiazmat: Dude! How can you be like that? No one deserves to have their wyrmhood chopped off! D:
Hell Wyrm: Then why don't you put it back on? >.>
Yiazmat: Uh, no. I don't touch those. >_>
Hell Wyrm: Except your own. >.>
Yiazmat: ...he's your *Bleep* son. -_-
Hell Wyrm: *Bleep* IT YIAZ, I'M A WYRM GOD NOT A DOCTOR! >:(
Yiazmat: Ugh... where are those gloves? >_>

Hell Wyrm: OMFG! THIS GAME CHEATS!
Yiazmat: *throws tainted gloves at HW* What game are you playing?
Hell Wyrm: What the... EWW! PEN FIFTEEN GLOVES! *throws them off and Firaga's them* D:<
Yiazmat: XD
Hell Wyrm: So how is he?
Yiazmat: I sewed the thing back on and it should still work. Anyway, I have him hanging from the ceiling by a leg... Anyway, what game are you playing?
Hell Wyrm: FFXII: Revenant Wings.
Yiazmat: Isn't that on the DS? How are you playing it? o_O
Hell Wyrm: I said "LET THERE BE WYRM-SIZED DS". And then it came.
Yiazmat: ...No, really.
Hell Wyrm: I used a bunch of wires. >.>
Yiazmat: So why is the game cheating?
Hell Wyrm: Bahamut keeps wasting my party. D:
Yiazmat: Bahamut? Don't we know Bahamut?
Hell Wyrm: We do? o_O
Yiazmat: Yeah, he comes to our parties.
Hell Wyrm: I remember now. He always has something different on. First he painted himself red and added giant red wings, then he got rid of the paint and added metallic wing covers, then he covered himself in gold plating.
Yiazmat: Then he painted his wings magenta. o_O
Hell Wyrm: What did he come in last time? :o
Yiazmat: I forgot. I think Fafnir remembers. FAFNIR!

*Fafnir walks over*

Fafnir: *giant steak in mouth* I'm eating. -_-
Yiazmat: You remember Bahamy?
Fafnir: The guy who changes his appearance everyday?
Yiazmat: Yeah. What did he come in last time?
Fafnir: Hold on, I have a picture *takes out a picture of Yiazmat and Bahamut ****-faced with lamp-shades on their heads* Haha! Good times. :)
Yiazmat: Ew.
Hell Wyrm: Lemme see.
Yiazmat: Golden grieves, fruity wing covers and a giant gold hula hoop on his back to boot.
Hell Wyrm: Where does he get this stuff? o_O
Yiazmat: Beats me. >.>
Hell Wyrm: You should call him over here.
Yiazmat: Why? o_O
Hell Wyrm: Don't you want to see an old friend?
Yiazmat: I guess. *opens a portal*
Hell Wyrm: Wait, you know where he lives?
Yiazmat: Yeah, The Throne of Feolthanos.
Hell Wyrm: Where the hell is that? o_O
Yiazmat: Check the game. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Oh. That's what the place is named... What makes you think he's going to fall through that?
Yiazmat: I don't expect him to. *reaches through the portal*

*meanwhile*

Kytes: *hauling ass from Titan* KILL HIM ALREADY, LLYUD! D:
Llyud: SHUT THE HELL UP AND STAY STILL!
Filo: OMG! BAHAMUT IS SO KAWAII! ^_^
Vaan: I'MA KEEL YOU BAHAMUT! >:O
Penelo: SHUT UP AND MAKE IT HAPPEN! >:(
Bahamut: COME ON, YOU FILTHY HUMES! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU, ******-*******! >:O
Llyud: I'm not a hume, I'm an Aegyl. o_O
Bahamut: *spins lance* I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE MY MOTHER, I'LL KILL~ AHH! *is face-palmed by Yiazmat and pulled through the portal* (In this context, face-palm means your face in my palm :)
Vaan: What the hell? o_O

Yiazmat: I got something! :D *throws Bahamut*
Bahamut: *THUD* AHHH! I'LL KILL YOU FOR THAT! *shanks Hell Wyrm in the face* ...Oops. Hey HW. Yiaz. ._.
Yiazmat: Hey Bahamy :D
Hell Wyrm: -_- *pulls the lance out* So you have on gray and lavender armor and a giant lance today?
Bahamut: You like it? :3
Hell Wyrm: I do! I'm really liking this lance though.
Bahamut: Yeah, I made it myself.
Hell Wyrm: No kidding? Wow. *looks at lance*

...

*impales Bahamut with the lance*

Bahamut: Oh *Bleep*... *collapse* X_X
Yiazmat: OMG! You killed Bahamy! You *Bleep*! D:
Hell Wyrm: That's what he gets for stabbing me in the ******* face and wasting my awesome party in Revenant Wings! >:(
Yiazmat: That's no reason to shank him in the heart! *revives Bahamut* -_-



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #13 on: July 09, 2008, 10:59:50 PM »
Bahamut: *Mega Flares the place*
Hell Wyrm: O_O Was that supposed to tickle?
Bahamut: O_O
Tiamat: *pushes W1N button*
Bahamutt: BARK BARK!
Yiazmat: O_O
Lindwyrm: I REMEMBER THIS THING. IMMA KEEL IT!
Yiazmat: Why?!
Lindwyrm: CUZ IT OWN'D ME SO MUCH IN SUPER MARIO RPG!

*epic fight ensues*

*Mega Flare'd*

*lol, what epic fight?*

Yiazmat: -.-

Lindwyrm: X_X
Yiazmat: You've made plenty of enemies, haven't you? *revives Lin* >.>
Lindwyrm: ._. *walks away*
Bahamut: Well I did act in a lot of games and I'm always ungodly strong in them. :P
Tiamat: Oh please. I've wasted you in every game I've played. ;o
Bahamut: Oh yeah?

*shanks her in the face*

Tiamat: X_X
Yiazmat: ...Issues, Bahmy? >.> *revives Tia*
Bahamut: No... :P
Tiamat: What was that for?!? >:(
Hell Wyrm: *playing FFXII: RW* Grrr... forget you Bahamut. I'll defeat you later.
Bahamut: You'll never be able to beat me. :o
Hell Wyrm: Orly?
Bahamut: Yarly. :P
Hell Wyrm: Okay. *impales Bahamut with his wyrm-sized DS Stylus*
Bahamut: Oh dude... you suck... *collapse* X_X
Tiamat: ROFL! XD
Yiazmat: That...is... funny. XD
Hell Wyrm: Lemme see if your blood can help me beat Midlight Deep. :P *picks up stylus with Bahamut's corpse still on it*
Yiazmat: Okay, enough fun. *pulls Bahamut off and revives him*
Bahamut: RAAAAAA! >:O *stabs Hell Wyrm in the face*
Hell Wyrm: ... Use this because you ain't getting this back. *throws him the DS Stylus and pulls out the spear* -_-
Bahamut: Aww. D:

*Midlight Deep starts*

*Vaan and co. are teleported to the dungeon for the trials ahead*

Yiazmat: That place looks like... my front yard. o_O
Hell Wyrm: Really? o_O
Yiazmat: Yeah.
Hell Wyrm: According to this, Feolthanos sealed you down there because he thought you were too strong.
Yiazmat: Nah. I killed him when he tried that. He was a good friend though. =/
Hell Wyrm: So that's where you live. o_O
Yiazmat: Yep. I own the entire castle. :D
Hell Wyrm: Then why are we in this hellhole? Let's go to your place. :D
Yiazmat: No way, man. I don't want it destroyed like this place and your house.
Hell Wyrm: Most of that was your fault. >.>
Yiazmat: You still aren't going there. -_-
Hell Wyrm: *closes DS* Alright... I'm going to get a drink. Bahamut! Tiamat! Lindwyrm! Let's go.
Tiamat: Why? o_O
Bahamut: Just go before he shanks you. ._.
Lindwyrm: I'm not going anywhere with him.
Bahamut: BOO!
Lindwyrm: AHHHH! D:< *hauls ass*

*they go into the other room*

Yiazmat: That's weird. o_O

*he walks into another room where Fafnir is going to town on a steak*

Yiazmat: It's that good huh?
Fafnir: *mouth full* Yep.
Yiazmat: Mind sharing?
Fafnir: Yesh. *tears into steak*

*THUD*

Yiazmat: What was that noise?
Fafnir: *finishes steak in one huge gulp* It came from the room where Barney was hanging.

*they go into the room*

Yiazmat: HOLY CRAP! He's gone!
Fafnir: And according to this note on the floor, so is everyone else. o_O
Yiazmat: What? *reads note* *Bleep*! They did not just go there! D:
Fafnir: Go where?
Yiazmat: My house. ._.
Fafnir: Midlight Deep? i wanna go there! D:
Yiazmat: Well c'mon then! *opens portal*

*meanwhile*

*Vaan and co. are teleported to Midlight Deep*

Penelo: Uhh... Vaan? Why are we here?
Vaan: According to this map, Yiazmat lives here. I wanna see if he has any treasure. :D
Balthier: Ooh! Treasure! :D
Penelo: What? Oh god. *facepalm* -_-

Penelo: Hey, Ashe, you wanna go get a smoothie? My treat :3
Ashe: Sure. Anyone else wanna go?
Basch: Sure, why not? It's not as if going with these two idiots is going to get something productive done.
Fran: It sounds like a good idea to me.

*they leave*

Balthier: Oh dear. It seems we're all alone. Bend over, Vaan.
Vaan: What the hell?!
Balthier: Bend over. Nao.
Vaan: Wha--aaah!

*insert sexy laugh from Balthier*

[Screen Fades to Black]

Vaan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Fades back]

Balthier: I told you to bend over.
Vaan: *ish on the groudn*
Balthier: That way, we wouldn't have to bother with that stalactite, now would we?

Vaan: Weird place for a stalactite. o_O
Balthier: Yep. *zips up pants*
Vaan: DUDE WTF? O.O
Balthier: Oh calm down. I had to pee. I didn't do anything to you. -_-
Vaan: Right... who's left to go through the 10 trials of Yiazzy?
Balthier: Let's see. There's me, you, the girl on the hoverboard, the brat with the magic stick and the flying guy.
Filo, Kytes and Llyud (respectively): We have names you know. >.>
Balthier: Sure you do. :P
Vaan: Isn't something supposed to come out and kill~

*a guy in a red helmet and pants comes out swinging a sword over his head*

Berserker: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! >:O
Llyud: According to this, we are supposed to destroy the enemy's soul crystal to finish this trial. You can kill him if you want to but that dude looks pissed. >.>
Berserker: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~
Vaan: He's almost here! Where's the *Bleep* soul crystal?!? D:
Llyud: Behind you. -_-
Vaan: What? *hits face on enemy SC* Ow! OH SNAP! *whax the crystal in half*
Berserker: AAAAA~ oop! O_O *trips and falls into the endless abyss.
Filo: LMAO! XD

*a portal opens*

Balthier: Anyway... shall we go?
Vaan: Lemme get a chance to rest. I almost got my head cleaved off!

*everyone leaves*

Vaan: -_-

*The Second Area*

Kytes: Eww... what's that smell? >_<
Balthier: Are you sure you haven't soiled yourself, little boy? :P
Kytes: -_-
Llyud: Well the next mission says to clear out all of these Mom Bombs and Great Malboros. >.>
Vaan: Alright. Rock-paper-scissors to see who goes.

*Vaan throws out rock while everyone else throws out paper*

Vaan: WTF?
Balthier: Go, you loser.
Vaan: How did you guys do that? D:
Kytes: That's because you always throw out rock. :o
Filo: Now go get rid of the weeds and explosives and don't come back until you've taken a shower! :P
Vaan: Aww... D:

*an hour later*

Vaan: *panting* Lets...go... *collapse*
Kytes: No wai man! You smell like ****! D:
Balthier: Don't worry, I have this perfume that I was going to give Fran on our anniversary tomorrow. *uses it on Vaan*
Vaan: WTF? Mmm... I smell guud. :D
Balthier: Yes you do sexy. >:)
Everyone: O.O
Balthier: *shakes head* Sorry, I don't know what came over me. I went a little crazy because this perfume makes me *insert inappropriate word or phrase* :o

*Meanwhile as they go onto the 3rd trial*

Yiazmat: HEY! WHO TOLD YOU TO COME TO MY HOUSE?!? >:O
Hell Wyrm: Oh hush up. *presses button*

*EPIC ASPLOSION!*

Everyone: LMAO! XD
Yiazmat: OMFG! WHY DID YOU BLOW UP MY HOUSE?!?
Hell Wyrm: That's what you get for ******* up all of our homes. :P
Yiazmat: ...those Mom bombs that you used are for the front gate. >.>
Hell Wyrm: Yeaaaaahhhh... we used them all. XD
Tiamat: *looks at the magicite that monitors the front door* Speaking of which, looks like we have visitors. Fire up the grill Fafnir! :D
Fafnir: Way ahead of you! :D
Yiazmat: WHAT? Oh hell no. BAHAMUT!
Bahamut: *still holding the wyrm-sized DS stylus as a weapon* Yeah? >.>
Yiazmat: Stand here and watch the crystal. When they reach the 6th area, go out and greet them.
Bahamut: What? Why should I do that? >.>
Yiazmat: Because I released you from that ******* wannabe God Feolthanos and if you don't, I'll turn you into Bahamut Kabobs.
Bahamut: ...No.
Yiazmat: If you don't believe me, I actually have a recipe right here. *shoves cookbook in his face* -_-
Bahamut: *reads* 10 large onion chopped into quarters, 10 bell peppers chopped into quarters, 1... Bahamut. O.O
Yiazmat: *takes out huge cleaver and begins sharpening it* Mmm... I can already taste those kabobs. :D
Bahamut: *hauls ass to watch the crystal*

Bahamut: *grumbles*
Yiazmat; I HEAR THAT
Bahamut: *continues to grumble*
Yiazmat: *sharpens cleaver. Very loudly*
Bahamut: *shuts up*

MEANWHILE:

Kai: U IS DEAD NAO!
Vossler: NO U!
Tiamat: NO U!
Lindwyrm: NO U!

[Onscreen]

<ISH PLAYING A GAME KAI MADE>

Kai (Kai): Meteor Swarm! *casts Meteor Swarm*
Shinji (Voss): Crescent Moon! *kills Tiamat's character*
Miyu (Tiamat): Noo...
Shugo (Lindwyrm): *ish hit by Meteor* I'm sor...ry... bi..g... b..ro---

Vossler: OWN'D NUBS!
Kai: Don't mess wid teh Kai.
Lindwyrm: You guys cheat.

*Shugo walks in*

Kai: Hey, little bro.
Shugo: Okay, who's seriously failing at me?
Lindwyrm: *whisles*
Shugo: Scooch over, noob.

[Back on screen]

Shugo: Healing Hands! *time slows*
Shugo: HAWKEYE! *time stops O_O*

*Shugo proceeds to ownificate everyone*

Kai: Cheater. *conks Shugo on teh head*
Voss: O_O
Lind: O_O
Tia: O_O


Tiamat: OMG! You cheated so bad, I'm getting hungry! >:O

*goes to eat Shugo*

Shugo: HAWKEYE! *time stops*

*time is...stopped >.>*

Tiamat: >:O *frozen*
Kai: WTF dude? >.>
Shugo: Why aren't you frozen?
Kai: Power Armlet. It looks sexy so I have it on all the time. :P
Shugo: Right...
Kai: What now?
Shugo: I dunno.
Kai: Wanna paint Tiamat green?
Shugo: ...why? o_O
Kai: For some reason, Yiazmat has a ****load of large green paint cans lying around.
Hell Wyrm: HAHAHA! YOU CAN'T STOP ME WAR CHIEF! INSTANT OWNAGE IN 10 SECONDS! :o
Shugo: Why isn't he frozen? >.>
Kai: Instant immunity. Don't know why Tiamat or Lindwyrm is frozen though. They have immunity to Stop. >.>

*meanwhile*

Vaan: What do we do here? -_-
Llyud: Kill a Seeq named War Chief.
Vaan: Where is he?
Llyud: In the middle of the area with the Soul Crystal.
Vaan: Do we have to destroy that?
Llyud: No.
Vaan: Just kill War Chief right?
Llyud: Yep.
Vaan: Be right back then... >:D *takes out the Godblade, Anastasia*

*10 seconds later, a portal opens behind the rest of the party*

Vaan: I'm back! *is covered in blood*
Balthier: Where did you get that thing? O_O
Vaan: When I was dead in that Illusion world. I do remember my butt being sore when I woke up. >.>
Balthier: Yeah. We kinda dropped you off a cliff when carrying you back. :P
Vaan: OH THANK GOODNESS! D:
Balthier: What did you think happened? >.>



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...

VYAzelas

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Re: The Wyrm Saga by Kaikuro and yours truly.
« Reply #14 on: July 09, 2008, 11:00:18 PM »
*4th area*

Vaan: What now?
Llyud: It says here, "Survive for 5 minutes with only three party members*
Balthier: Survive? I think I'll take a breather, thank you. >.>
Vaan: Oh please. Nothing can kill us when I have this! *hold up the Anastasia* :D
Filo: I'll go! :D
Kytes: Me too! Nothing can take us down! :D
Vaan: Let's go troops! *sees Shiva* KILL HER! >:O
Shiva: Fufufufu! >:D *uses Diamond Dust, which is 100x stronger due to the fact that it is that time of the month >.>*
Vaan: X_X
Kytes: OH ****! RUN! D:< *is Diamond Dusted* X_X
Filo: AHHHH! *hauls ass on her hoverboard* D:<
Shiva: COME BACK HERE! >:O
Llyud: *is enjoying tea* Enjoying the show?
Balthier: *is also enjoying tea* Heh. Who wouldn't? Sugar?
Llyud: Please.

*5 minutes later, the portal to the next area is open*

Filo: AHHHHHH! D:< *hauls ass through the portal carrying Vaan and Kytes*

*5th area*

Llyud: *revives Vaan and Kytes* Idiots. -_-
Vaan: What now? *rubs head* >_<
Llyud: It's another Soul Crystal mission.
Vaan: Shiva isn't here, is she? -_-
Llyud: Nope.
Vaan: Who are we fighting?
Llyud: ...Ourselves. o_O
Vaan: What?
Llyud: Did I stutter?
Vaan: How the hell did Yiazmat get clones of us? O_O

*back at the home*

Bahamut: How DID you get clones of them? o_O
Yiazmat: I'm God. I can do that. >.>
Bahamut: Really? o_O
Yiazmat: Yeah.
Bahamut: Then why don't you clone me to guard the front gate? >.>
Yiazmat: I burned the recipe for another Bahamut because the world doesn't need another you. -_-

*LOL*

Kai: Did you get the wings?
Shugo: Yeah. She's entirely green now! XD
Kai: Wanna release the spell?
Shugo: ...Nah. She's obviously going to kill us. Let's hide. >.>
Kai: Good plan.

Shugo: I think we're forgetting something...
Vossler: AHH!
Tiamat: RAWR! YOU *Bleep*! YOU DID THIS! *throws Vossler into a wall*
Kai: Oh, yeah.

*Kai own'z Tiamat*

Shugo: *uses uber medic skillz* Hmm... His vitals are low. There are rock and scale fragments embedded in his chest.
Kai: Surgery timez?
Shugo: Yep. Since big brother isn't here yet, you're going to have to be my nurse.
Kai: WHY ME?!
Shugo: Because. I need a nurse.
Kai: You know as well as I do that I am hemophobic! (it's true :D)
Shugo: Too bad.
Kai: FINE.

*Kai Fei (who is Kaikuro's non-existant twin brother :P) and Sam (who is Kaikuro's non-existant older brother) arrive*

Shugo: BIG BROTHER. HELP ME OPERATE ON KAIKURO'S FRIEND NAO.
Sam: Alright, lemme sterilize the area.

Kai(kuro): *leaves*
Kai Fei: *follows*

OPERATION TIEM!

Shugo: *cuts open his chest* OH. MY. ****ING. GOD!
Sam: Wha--- OH MY GOD! IT'S....SA... SA.... SAVATO!

*epic Trauma Center: Second Opinion music beings playing, and Kai and Kai run back in*

Both: Did we just hear you guys say: Savato?!
Sam: Yes.
KK: Well, if we wanna save him, it looks like I have no choice but to operate... D:
KF: Alright, I'll begin cutting the webs over here. 'Kuro, you begin cutting there.

*3 minutes of web-cutting, baby burning (will be asplained later), and medicine injecting later...*

Sam: ****! Shugo! Suture that laceration immediately! Kaikuro, burn the baby Savato coming out of the cut!
Shugo: I'm on it!
KK: Alright!
KF: I've melted the armor! Cut it nao!

*Sam cuts Savato*

*armor Reappears*

*rinse. repeat*

Sam: It's time to finish it! *cuts Savato*
Shugo: HAWKEYE! HEALING HANDS! *injects anti-Savato medication into Savato*

*All cuts on Vossler's heart inflicted by Savato mysteriously disappear*

*they close up Vossler*

Shugo: Whew....

Basically, this is what happened (cept throw in 4 teenagers, instead of two highly gifted doctors): http://youtube.com/watch?v=7yQnMyL3g5Q

Hell Wyrm: WOO! I finally finished that annoying mission in Trauma Center! :D
Vossler: Ugh... what happened? Did someone cut me open with a chainsaw? >_<
Hell Wyrm: *looks over* *Bleep*! I think they did. o_O
Vossler: *sees Kai's initials sewn into chest* ...Excuse me. *seeks out teh Kai* -_-
Hell Wyrm: ...Now that that's over I can get back to FFXII: RW. :D

*meanwhile, in the battlefield against themselves*

Vaan: Balthier.
Balthier: *is shooting Vaan clone* Yes?
Vaan: Tell me, how the **** are we getting our asses handed to us by wannabe us? -_-
Balthier: How should I know? Now shut up and start whacking stuff! D:<
Vaan: *hits Balthier clone* Llyud! summon stuff to help us! D:<
Llyud: Which one?
Vaan: SOMETHING STRONG! *hits Balthier*
Balthier: OW! *shoots Vaan*
Vaan: x_x
Llyud: *revives Vaan and grips him* *Bleep* IT VAAN! WHICH ONE?
Vaan: What's does our esper troupe look like? *hits Llyud clone*
Llyud: We can summon Bombs, Giza Bunnies, Wyverns, and Lamias.
Vaan: What's our Rank III esper?
Llyud: ...Tiamat.
Vaan: *drops sword* What?
Llyud: Did I stutter? >.>
Vaan: WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING BEFORE? SUMMON THAT *****! >:O
Llyud: ALRIGHT! *steps on a trap laid by the Filo Clone* x_x
Vaan: *Bleep*! Filo! Go get Tiamat! *picks up his sword and sticks it in the Balthier Clone*
Filo: *goes to the summoning gate* *Bleep*, how do you work this thing. Oh wait. *presses the button with Tiamat's silhouette* I'M COMING VAAN! *uses Glide and pwns the Llyud clone with Sonic Wave*

*meanwhile*

Tiamat: *Bleep*! It's going to take me a while to get this green paint off. >_<
Hell Wyrm: Tia! Come over here and look at the Revenant Wings version of you! :o
Tiamat: What? *goes over*
Hell Wyrm: Look! *holds up the wyrm-sized DS*

*Tiamat is...green*

Tiamat: Why am I green in that game?
Hell Wyrm: How am I supposed to know? I think you look sexy green though... just like you are now. :3
Tiamat: Whatever... *a portal opens underneath her* OH ****~ AHHHHHHHH!
Hell Wyrm: That's...weird. o_O *continues playing FFXII: RW*

*back at the front yard*

Tiamat: ~AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *THUD* >_<
Vaan: WOO! Backup is here! :D
Llyud: She's summoned under you! Now buff the **** out of her and get over here! *starts stabbing stuff*
Tiamat: What the...
Filo: Start killing stuff! You're on our side! *uses Decoy Bit and Glide on Tiamat*
Tiamat: Why?... >.>
Llyud: Just destroy that soul crystal over there and we'll feed you later! >:O
Tiamat: Right... *flies over to the crystal and destroys it*

*all the clones die*

Vaan: OMG! WE WON! XD *collapses on the floor*
Balthier: I never thought that fighting my sexy self was going to be so hard. o_O
Kytes: *comes back from the bathroom* Did I miss anything?
Filo: Other than me giving your clone an atomic wedgie with my hoverboard, no.
Kytes: WE WERE FIGHTING OURSELVES? AWW MAN! D: *sees Tiamat* O_O
Tiamat: Now where is my food? >.>
Llyud: Yeah... about that... *press the dismiss button on the summoning gate*

*a giant portal opens underneath Tiamat*

Tiamat: AHHHHHHHHHHH! I'LL GET YOU FOR~ *disappears*

Llyud: ...Let's move on?
Balthier: Yeah... lets go before she comes back and eats us. >.>

*they move to area 6*

*back at the house*

Tiamat *still falling* AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *THUD*
Hell Wyrm: You're back! :D
Tiamat: OMG! THEY CHEATED ME OUT OF A MEAL! >:O
Hell Wyrm: o_O
Tiamat: *grumbles and stomps away angrily*
Hell Wyrm: Okay... *continues playing*

*Bahamut comes out of nowhere and swaps the stylus for the lance*

Hell Wyrm: *grabs Bahamut by the wings* -_-
Bahamut: OW!
Hell Wyrm: Where do you think you're going?
Bahamut: I need to go guard the front gate. You don't think I'm going outside without my lance do you?
Hell Wyrm: Yeah, I do. >.>
Bahamut: Come on! I'm sorry for stabbing you in the face! Now lemme go! D:
Hell Wyrm: Sure.... *opens a portal and throws him in it* :P

*at area 6*

Vaan: What now, Llyud?
Llyud: We have to open the six treasure chests to get to the next area.
Balthier: WHAT? TREASURE?
Filo, Kytes, and Vaan: TREASURE? :D
Llyud: -_-
Balthier: Wait... isn't there something that's supposed to kill us?
Llyud: If you'd let me finish, you'd know what is trying to kill us. It's~
Bahamut: AHHHHHH! *thud*
Everyone: O_O
Bahamut: *gets up and brushes himself off* *Bleep* that Hell Wyrm. -_-
Vaan: OMG! BAHAMUT! D:
Bahamut: *sees the party* Ooh! I see an outlet for my rage! >:D *spins his lance* COME GET SOME!

*chases the party*

Vaan: OMG RUN! D:<

*to be continued*

KK: *fleeing*
KF: Why is he trying to kill us?!
Sam: Good question...
Shugo: 'Cuz that idiot over there (KK: XD) had to stitch his name on his chest.
Sam: *conks KK on the head*
KK: OW!

[Vossler is still chasing them]

MEANWHILE:

Vaan: DIE! *shank*
Bahamut: ?
Vaan: O_O
Bahamut: Did your sword just turn into a dull butterknife?
Vaan: Yup.
Balthier: Hmph! *fires*
Bahamut: *stares at the puddle 5 feet in front of Balthier*
Balthier: O_O My gun turned into a super soaker...
Bahamut: O_O What the hell is going on?

[Back at Yiazmat's house]

Hell Wyrm: OH MY GOD! YIAZMAT! WHY IS VAAN EQUIPPED WITH A DULL BUTTERKNIFE?! AND BALTHIER A SUPERSOAKER?!
Yiazmat: Because I entered the joke weapon cheat. I hrd they was good.
Hell Wyrm: Yeah. In Tales of Symphonia maybe. THEY SUCK IN THIS GAME.
Yiazmat: Hah... You're screwed... :D
Hell Wyrm: *bashes Yiazmat's face with giant Stylus*

*the three look at each other*

Vaan: Screw this! *drops butter knife and pulls out the Godblade Anastasia*
Balthier: *throws water gun at Bahamut and pulls out "the Fran"* Oh yeah. That's firepower. >:D
Bahamut: *bonk* Hey! Why you little...! *dives at Balthier*

*begins to shoot Bahamut but...*

Vaan: BY THE POWER OF YIAZMAT, I SMOTE THEE INTO OBLIViON! *sl-sl-sl-sl-SLASH!*
Bahamut: ...Whoa... what the hell just happened?... Unhhh... *collapse* X_X
Balthier: OMG! YOU STOLE THE MOMENT FROM ME AND THE FRAN!
Vaan: You named your gun after Fran? o_O
Balthier: ... *shoots Vaan*
Vaan: X_X
Balthier: Actually, I like this moment better than the one I could have had. XD

*5 minutes later Balthier returns from opening chests*

Balthier: Hey everyone! Look what I found! :D

*shows Diamonds and Gems*

Filo: OMG BLING! >:O *attacks Balthier*
Balthier: WTF? D:
Filo: RAWR! *bites Balthier*
Balthier: OW! Crazy girl!
Filo: MY PRECIOUS! *curls up in a corner and stares at the bling*
Llyud: You humes are idiots.
Balthier: Shut up, you emotionless *Bleep*. Now help me pick up Vaan's corpse so we can move along.

*Meanwhile*

Lindwyrm: Uhh... Yiazmat?
Yiazmat: *is cleaning up the mess left from the explosion* What? -_-
Lindwyrm: Look. >.> *points at the crystal*
Yiazmat: What am I looking at~ OH MY GOODNESS! WHAT DID THEY DO TO BAHAMY? D:
Lindwyrm: It was pretty cool actually. Vaan had this sword that made him so fast that it looked like he slashed Bahamut once but if you put the high-speed on...

*Vaan is shown slashing Bahamut 13 times (Fail reference, I know)*

Yiazmat: *facepalm* It's hard to find good help these days. *teleports Bahamy back to the house* -_-

*the 7th area*

Balthier: It looks like we are almost at our goal. 3 more areas, then we can get some treasure! :D
Vaan: Well it doesn't look like there is anything here. Let's go?

*slips on "white" stuff *

Vaan: Ow! What the... what's this white stuff? *sniffs* OMG EWWW! IT'S~

*the Vanish spell on 5 Tricksters and a ****load of Chocobos wear off*

Vaan: CHOCOBO POOP! EW! EW! EW! GET IT OFF! D:<



Wanna laugh? Poke the wyrms above. ;)

Gods don't die, they merely slumber...