Author Topic: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]  (Read 2217 times)

ElliotMajor

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My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« on: July 14, 2011, 05:14:43 PM »
I work with the internet every single day, to entertain myself I have begun to visualise some aspects of what I do in a sort of virtual/roleplay state. You may have seen it in a couple of my posts in the sandsea etc. regarding "mod snipers" or "spam-bots". Any way I've decided to write a story about my work life, but from a different perspective.

Give me your honest opinions

My internet travel tales
My name is Michael. I’ve been a link analyst for around 6 months now. In that short time I have been travelling throughout the world of the internet in search of links. My experiences during this time have been both good and bad, I have rejoiced as fellow analysts have accompanied me on my never ending quest, and I have been saddened as I passed by the collapsed fortresses long since destroyed by spam-bots. This story is to share my experiences with everyone, my journal if you will, the only autobiography I will ever write. I am Michael; this is my story so far.

The First Day
My first day I was shown into the office where I would spend the next 6 months of my life sat searching through the internet for possible link targets. A couple of months ago I had no idea what SEO was all about. I was one of those casual internet users. You know the type, Facebook and a few forums & flash game sites. Occasionally whilst talking to friends or playing games I would notice a spam-bot wander by. But the establishments I frequented were well respected and the security top notch, these spam-bots were usually shot down before you could say “cheap tramadol online”. The people who did the shooting were the ‘Mods’. The internet Elite core, you never knew if they were there or not, some would come out and say ‘hi’ join in the conversations we had, whereas some stayed in the shadows never showing their faces in the light.
                I was seated at my desk, it was spacious and I had two screens as opposed to the measly one I had back at home. Little did I know the confusion of two screens, that I would whipping my head back and forth repeatedly lost in the panic of losing where I’d put my e-mails only to realised I had closed outlook. I was kitted out, given all I would need for the road, and then set off on my journey into the unknown.

Update
After only 5 minutes I decided to look through the many things I had been given. Sitting down I pulled the backpack I had aptly named “My Computer” from my back and set it down ready to be rummaged through. After opening the double click clasp I was amazed to see how much had been packed into such a small space, I began to search through the bag and finally found what I was looking for I pulled out a shiny new “Outlook 2010”. I quickly strapped it to my wrist and, after figuring out I had to press the on button twice in quick succession, turned it on. I fiddled about with some new settings; previously I had had the older model “Outlook 2007” and was eager to try this new gadget out.

« Last Edit: July 14, 2011, 05:44:37 PM by ElliotMajor »
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Ultima

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Re: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2011, 06:22:15 PM »
There are a number of grammatical errors that interrupt the flow of the story. This is only a minor fault though as the originality of the idea was intriguing enough to keep me reading.

I could proof read it if you like but it's up to you. I hope you add more. :)

When the darkness of the Abyss threatens the world, the Phoenix will rise amidst a whirlwind of fire and light.

Whisperer: Sometimes there is a very good reason to fear the dark.


ElliotMajor

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Re: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2011, 06:23:57 PM »
Could you proof read and highlight the changes so I know where im going wrong grammar wise?

It's because I don't proof read and rush to put my ideas to paper :P

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DevilsGreen

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Re: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2011, 06:26:09 PM »
Could you proof read and highlight the changes so I know where im going wrong grammar wise?

It's because I don't proof read and rush to put my ideas to paper :P

Not because you should be working? ^^ Just last night you were complaining about doing 36 days worth of work in 21 days ^^ and you get at me for not doing my college work ...

Hypocrite =[]


Ultima

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Re: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2011, 06:44:50 PM »
My internet travel tales
My name is Michael. I’ve been a link analyst for around 6 months now. In that short time I have been travelling throughout the world of the internet in search of links. My experiences during this time have been both good and bad. I have rejoiced as fellow analysts have accompanied me on my never ending quest and I have been saddened as I passed by the collapsed fortresses long since destroyed by spam-bots. This story is to share my experiences with everyone, my journal if you will. This is the only autobiography I will ever write. I am Michael; this is my story so far.

The First Day
On my first day I was shown into the office where I would spend the next 6 months of my life, sat searching through the internet for possible link targets. A couple of months ago I had no idea what SEO was all about. I was one of those casual internet users. You know the type, Facebook and a few forums & flash game sites. Occasionally, whilst talking to friends or playing games, I would notice a spam-bot wander by. But the establishments I frequented were well respected and the security was always top notch. Any spam-bots were usually shot down before you could say “cheap tramadol online”. The people who did the shooting were the ‘Mods’. The internet Elite corps(?), you never knew if they were there or not. Some would come out and say ‘hi’ join in the conversations we had, whereas some stayed in the shadows never showing their faces in the light.
                I was seated at my desk, it was spacious and I had two screens as opposed to the measly one I had back at home. Little did I know the confusion of two screens, that I would whipping my head back and forth repeatedly lost in the panic of losing where I’d put my e-mails only to realised I had closed outlook. I was kitted out, given all I would need for the road, for setting off on my journey into the unknown.

Update
After only 5 minutes I decided to look through the many items I had been given. Sitting down I pulled the backpack I had aptly named “My Computer” from my back and set it down, ready to be rummaged through. After opening the double click clasp I was amazed to see how much had been packed into such a small space. I began to search through the bag and finally found what I was looking for. I pulled out a shiny new “Outlook 2010”. I quickly strapped it to my wrist and, after figuring out I had to press the on button twice in quick succession, turned it on. I fiddled about with some new settings; previously I had been using the older model “Outlook 2007” and was eager to try this new gadget out.

Changes will be in bold.

I was unsure if you meant 'corps' when referring to the mods, like referring to a military battalion.

Vague words like 'things' or 'got' you should try and avoid. Using more specific words paints a clearer mental image for the reader.

As I say though, most of these changes (mainly the word replacements) are simply suggestions. If you don't like them then that's more than okay.

When the darkness of the Abyss threatens the world, the Phoenix will rise amidst a whirlwind of fire and light.

Whisperer: Sometimes there is a very good reason to fear the dark.


DevilsGreen

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Re: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2011, 06:50:54 PM »
Corps = Corporations?  :o Mayybe


Ultima

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Re: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2011, 07:15:21 PM »
Corps = Corporations?  :o Mayybe

It's also a word for arms of the military.

When the darkness of the Abyss threatens the world, the Phoenix will rise amidst a whirlwind of fire and light.

Whisperer: Sometimes there is a very good reason to fear the dark.


DevilsGreen

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Re: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2011, 07:16:18 PM »
It's also a word for arms of the military.

Mine was just a suggestion ^^


Metal Chocobo

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Re: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2011, 08:11:21 PM »
Corps = Corporations?  :o Mayybe
It's also a word for arms of the military.

Considering the content of this story, the ambiguous meaning of corps is actually rather apt. The Security "Corps" Organisations of military spam-bot hunters.

Loving this, keep it up ;D

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ElliotMajor

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Re: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2011, 11:39:11 AM »
Thanks for that :D and yeah I did mean corps

Part two coming soon :)

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angel

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Re: My Internet Travel Tales [Unfinished]
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2011, 10:22:56 PM »
mike I love it

I was in it from the start , and must comment on the fact that you haven't used computer mish mash words that would be so totally lost on me  :D

It's fab and I can't wait for the next bit

hurry up  ;)

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