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[Kai Effin Kuro]

SPRING BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!
Unfortunately, I have homework and scholarships.  Meh.

Kai: Tia!  *throws smokebomb*  Now!!
Tiamat: LEEROY JENKINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  *charges in*

*Smoke gets blown away, only to have 101239128958 shards of ice lock in at the team + wyrms*

Nene: Yeahh.  Voss, where are the god wyrms.
Vossler: Playing Starcraft. 
Kai: I'll kick their asses later.
Nene: We'll be dead later.  Do you not see THE ****ING FLOATING SHARDS OF ICE POINTED AT US?!
Kai: Did you just say they were made of ice?
Nene: HOW IN HELL'S NAME DOES THAT HEL -- Oh... YAY!
Dark Valefor: I'm bored :\ *snaps non-existent fingers and the shards go zooming in* Hyakkaryouran!
Kai: Stop stealing Tales of Graces attacks. *raises his hands* Because you'll regret it!

*The flying ice comes short of stabbing the team to death*

Vossler: GETTER DONE, KAI!
Kai: *points ice shards at dark Yojimbo!* I be the only Tales of Stealer here! *snaps finger* Hyakkaryoruan! 
Nene: That translates to All Kinds of Flower Profusion, or something like that.  It's normally performed with knives.  Both of you fail at ripping off Cheria. 
Kai: Oh crap.  And thanks, Nene ._.
Nene: What oh.  Oh crap.

*All the ice shards impale Tiamat*

Tiamat: KAI!  That hur-- X_X *THUD*
Vossler: There goes our tank. 
Nene: Can't you tank? 
Kunoichi: Yeah, you have 71k HP, and can cloak like me
Vossler: If you don't remember, we're dealing with Dark Valefor here.  By the way, since when COULD Dark Valefor use ice magic? 
Nene: Since Shadowseer summoned her.
Dark Yojimbo: Are you done talking?  Yes?  DIE!  *Wakizashi*
Nene: TIEM FOR PUNISHMENT!  *cleaves the deathwave in half, only to have the top half squish her* X_X
Vossler: *facepalm* *uses Arise on Nene*
Nene: That was embarrassing.  Oh wait, where's our wyrm support?
Kunoichi: By the fact that the room smells heavily of pee and crap, I think they ran.  Except Bahamut, who's fallen apart literally, and Tiamat, who Kai accidentally turned into a pincushion.   
Nene: ...Great.
Kai: ...*Tries to indignation*  Cannot.  Focus.  At.  All. *sparks fly out of his fingers and catch Dark Daigoro on fire*
Dark Daigoro: *YELP YELP YELP!*
DY: D:

*Meanwhile*

Yiazmat: Back to me stomping!  EAT THIS!
Hell Wyrm: Oh no... 

*Under a huge dark swarm cloud comes 100 roaches*

Hell Wyrm: FML.  Oh wait.  *checks for his Ghosts, who are about to drop nukes all over Yiazmat's base*

*Nuclear launch - detected*

Yiazmat: Oh shi --

*BOOOOOOOOOOM!*

*Meanwhile again...*

Kai: D: ZANMATO!!
Vossler: *cloaked* Nice knowing you two
Kunoichi: Uhh.  *cloaks*  What he said.
Nene: I CAN DO DIS!~  *Leaps above DY and onto Dark Valefor's back*
Nene: FIRE FIRE FIRE!  *DV Energy Blasts DY*
DY: X_X

*TBC*

[VYAzelas]

hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate

Can't wait for the semester to be over. -_-

Dark Valefor: RAWR! >:O

*shakes Nene off and Sonic Wings her for good measure*

Vossler: Great. We're almost done now. Dark Valefor is the weakest of the aeons so this shouldn't be too hard.
Shadowseer: Ssssso you think. I like messssssing with abilitiessssss...

*SS jumps on Dark Valefor*

*Dark Valefor cloaks*

Kai: Ohhhhhhh... crap.
Vossler: Whoa... didn't see that coming.
Nene: That thing isn't exactly small. Shouldn't we hear her wings beating or something?
Shadowseer: Or ssssssssomething.

*Energy blast from behind*

Vossler: GET DOWN!

*throws up a reflect screen*

*the group hauls ass*

Kai: ARGH! What do we do about the large ray-spewing invisible beast of death?
Vossler: *calls Yiazmat*

*meanwhile*

Yiazmat: *builds another photon cannon* If I hear another Yamato G~

*PEW PEW PEW*

*Yiazmat's defense grid is decimated for the 500th time*

Hell Wyrm: LOLOL! XD
Yiazmat: THAT'S IT! RAWR! *throws a huge cable around HW and chokes him* >:O
Hell Wyrm: You...sore....loser! DX

*cell phone rings*

Yiazmat: What? I'm busy choking someone here.
Vossler: GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW! FLOATING WINGED BEAST OF INVISIBLE DEATH IS RAINING HELL ON US!
Yiazmat: Ugh. Just use thermo goggles or something.

Vossler: We got thermo-goggles?
Kai: Does it look like we have thermo-goggles? >.>
Vossler: Kunoichi?
Kunoichi: Who do I look like Ri~
Vossler: Don't finish that sentence. No goggles here.

Yiazmat: An ultrasound robot?
Vossler: What?
Yiazmat: An ultra~
Vossler: THIS ISN'T A HOSPITAL YOU MORON. GET YOUR BUTT HERE NOW! >:O
Yiazmat: Quiet down! I'm busy her~ WHOA.

*Hell Wyrm flips Yiazmat over and sits on his face*

Yiazmat: *muffled* GET YOUR BUTT OFF ME!
Hell Wyrm: *picks up the phone* Use Ensnare!
Vossler: What the hell is "ensnare"?
Hell Wyrm: Oh sorry. StarCraft terms. Spray some goo or something at the place where you think the invisible object may me.
Vossler: We have no goo. >.>
Hell Wyrm: You got dead bodies over there?

*EXPLOSION*

Vossler: X_X
Hell Wyrm: Hello?
Kai: *picks up phone* HELP NAOW!
Hell Wyrm: Ow! Stop yelling! You got a corpse or not?
Kai: There's an invisible, fuzzy, wyvern-bird thing of death spewing lasers. What do you think?
Hell Wyrm: Well, cut someone open and throw their guts on Dark Valefor!
Kai: What? I don't want to defile Vossler's body!
Hell Wyrm: Don't use someone that small.
Vossler: *just revived* NO ONE'S TOUCHING MY HOT BOD.
Nene: LOL.
Hell Wyrm: Is there a dead wyrm or something large over there? You'll need some substantial entrails for this to work.
Kai: There's Tiamat...
Hell Wyrm: Not her. You mess that up and we lose our only female on our team. >.>
Kai: Bahamut?
Hell Wyrm: That'll do.

Vossler: What did he say?
Kai: Cut open Bahamut and throw his guts on DV.
Vossler: What? EWWWW.
Kunoichi: But he looks too sexy to be cut up! D:

*ENERGY BLAST*

*ASPLOSION*

Kunoichi: *takes out a cleaver* LEMME AT HIM!
Vossler: No no! I got a better idea...

Shadowseer: Where are they?
Nene: *walking out from the room* HMM... I WONDER WHERE THEY ARE. I GUESS THEY LEFT. TIME TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.
Shadowseer: THERE!

*pew pew*

*Nene runs into the kitchen*

Dark Valefor: I'm not done with y... o_O

*Nene is rummaging through the fridge*

Nene: ALL THIS RUNNING HAS LEFT ME FEELING TIRED.
Shadowseer: Why is sssssssshe yelling? Never mind. ANNIHILATE HER.

*Energy blast fires*

*Nene jumps out of the way*

*EXPLOSION*

*an ice cream wave rushes out of the fridge and reveals Dark Valefor*

Dark Valefor: Eww! I'll be sticky for days! D:
Shadowseer: Mmm... vanilla.
Vossler: GIT'EM.
Everyone: AHHHH!

*the group bashes Dark Valefor with various blunt instruments*

Shadowseer: Uh oh... I got nothing left to ssssssummon again. Blasssst it. I would have had my revenge if it weren't for you meddling kidsssssss...
Nene: Ssssssshut up. TIEM FOR PUNISHHHHHHMENT! >:O

*PUNISHED*

*TBC*

[Kai Effin Kuro]

Shadowseer: Oh wait, I ssssssstilll have thisssssss!  Sssssspell card: Thousand Boltsssssss!
Kai: Oh crap.
Vossler: What?
Kai: He's going to go Touhou on our asses.
Vossler: What's that mean?
Kunoichi: This.
Vossler: Oh ****.  We dead.
Nene: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!  *is shot down by 100,000,000,000 bullets* x_x

Kai: ICE WALL!
*everyone crowds behind*
Vossler: She's heavy... *dragging Nene's corpse*
Nene: *reflex kick to the nutz*
Vossler: I.. *moan* can't *strain* believe *moan* she heard me T_T *on the ground*
Kai: That's why you never make comments about her weight that aren't 'You be dead sexy'.

*bullets ricocheting around wall*

Kunoichi: So, what are you thinking?
Kai: Malice Cannon, Borders of Pwn, Knifeblood or Team Broken?
Vossler: What's the difference? 
Kunoichi: The types of Broken.
Vossler: Describe.  And fast.
Kai: Malice Cannon essentially is Alice's giant lazor followed up by Marisa's multiple tiny lazors and a Masterspark if needed, Borders of Pwn involves lots of Yukarin's stabby lazors and Reimu's homing balls, Knifeblood essentially is Remilia's ridiculous damage with Sakuya's piggyback knives, and Team Broken involves Youmu's massive damage output with Yuyuko's screenwide covering.
Vossler: Let's go with Malice Cannon.  It sounds the most badass.
Kai: I summon thee!  Alice Margatroid!  Marisa Kirisame!
Alice: What's up?
Marisa: Whatever happened, Reimu, is Alice's fau-- wait, you're not Reimu. 
Alice: But someone's definitely danmakuing their assess.
Marisa: Malice Cannon tiem?
Alice: I'd guess.
Kai: I'm lowering the wall after Nene regains consciousness.
Nene: I heard Malice Cannon. 
Kai: Ready... DODGE! 

*ice wall dissolves*

Marisa: LOVE SIGN!  MASTER SPARK!~ *Giant lazor annihilates all the pewpew that Shadowseer is spewing*
Alice: MALICE CANNON GO!  *shoots her superlazor*
Marisa: *fires tiny lazors*
Shadowseer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*Dies*

*poof*

Kai: They are broken.  If Alice can actually hit with that lazor. 
Vossler: What's stopping her? 
Kai: Narrow lazor + bullet dodging usually doesn't work too well.
Vossler: Who's the best team in Imperishable Night?
Kai: Yukari and Reimu.
Kunoichi: They're sooo broken D:

*Shadowseer ressurectsssssssssssssss*

Shadowseer: I willlllllllll eaaaaaaaat youuuuuur sssssssssssssssssouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuulssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!

[Spell Card - Resurrection Butterfly]

Nene: ****.  That is all.
Vossler: Send in Border Team.
Kai: *tries* Cannot.
Vossler: And why not? 
Kai: Cuz it's Hammer Time?

*everyone dives for cover again*

Kai: We're timing this one out.

*wall breaks*

Kai: RUN FOR IT!
Vossler: AHH!  Wait... *cloaks*
Kunoichi: GOOD LUCK! -_^ *cloaks*
Nene: TIEM FOR PUNISHMENT!  *grabs Tiamat's leg and uses it for cover*
Kai: *forms another ice wall and cowers*

*Timeout*

Kai: YESSSS!

[Spell Card - Virtue of Wind God]

Kunoichi: OH WHY THE ****?! *is out of mana*
Vossler: NO FAIR!
Nene: Her leg is all holed up.  THAT'S IT!  ~Mugen FUUIN!~

*Nene absorbs a *Bleep*ton of bullets then fires energy blasts at Shadowseer*

Shadowseer: NOT ENOUGH! 
Kai: Just enough time to...

[Spell Card - Hell's Tokamak]

Kai: FML.

*TBC*

[VYAzelas]

Eww.

I haven't done this yet? May is so busy/crappy for me. I got FFXII IZJS and am playing through it right now. The patch isn't all that great but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't fun. Everything is coming back to me. That and the new locations for everything is giving me a migraine.

lol spell cards :O

Yiazmat: ...
Hell Wyrm: I win again! Lol Void Rays.
Yiazmat: ... >:O

（╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Hell Wyrm: MY COMPUTERS! Argh! This is why I don't invite you to my place.

*they've been playing at HW's renovated place for the past week*

Yiazmat: They need to fix this game before I play again. >.>
Hell Wyrm: You mean you need to get better before you play again.
Yiazmat: I haven't killed anything in a while. I think you'll do.
Hell Wyrm: Calm down fattie. Shadowseer is still wreaking havoc at Lin's. I think a good portion of the Wyrm group has been decomposed completely.
Yiazmat: How do you know?
Hell Wyrm: Check the last few activity logs. They've been silent. >.>
Yiazmat: *looks at the logs* Whoa. It has what I'm saying right now! WTF It has that too! And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And...
Hell Wyrm: SHUT UP I GET IT.
Yiazmat: And that too.
Hell Wyrm: *smacks the activity log out of his hands* We need to intervene right now.
Yiazmat: Alright...

*meanwhile*

SS: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Vossler: HOW DOES HE GENERATE SO MANY DEATH BALLS SO FAST?!?!?
Kai: It's the~ *is hit by a ball* X_X
Vossler: OH NOES.
Nene: Getting... tired... of... dodging.
Kunoichi: Hehe! *uses her incredible ninja skillz to slide through the gaps gracefully.

*an arm portals out of nowhere and backhands SS through a wall*

*the balls stop*

Kai: *just revived* ...You shouldn't have wasted that Phoenix Down on me.
Kunoichi: Why?... *looks up* Oh. ._.

*the huge balls that were generating the little balls become unstable*

Vossler: TT_TT
Nene: D:
Kai: *lies on the floor* 
Kunoichi: SOMEONE SAVE US!

*ASPLOSION*

Penelo: Did you guys feel that? It's like something huge exploded on the other side of Ivalice.
Ashe: I think we need to worry about these LV 99 Archaeoaevis first!
Basch: x_x
Vaan: *jumps in* Hey! I can't believe we're back in the~ *smacked by an Aevis* x_x
Fran: *casts blindga* Balthier, I don't think losing our lives for the ultimate gun is worth it. D:
Balthier: Just 1 more Emperor Scale and I have it! Just a little~ *is knocked to 1 HP* Never mind. RUN! D:<

*back to the explosion*

Vossler: HOLY CRAP WE'RE STILL ALIVE... why does it stink? o_O
Kai: THIS GIANT STATUE FROM THE HEAVENS HAS SAVED US FROM THE SUPERNOVA! *starts kissing it*
Yiazmat: Hehe, that tickles!
Kai: ...Yiaz? OMG YOU REEK! *spits* DX

*Yiazzy used his massive girth to absorb the holy damage from the supernova*

Nene: *reads log* I'm surprised it wasn't non-elemental damage. o_O
Kunoichi: WHERE WERE YOU? WE COULD HAVE USED YOU A WHILE AGO! ARGH! *stabs Yiazzy with a kunai*
Yiazmat: Ow! I was just playing SC2. Great game but it has balance issues.
Vossler: OMG YOU HAVE IT?!
Nene: Shut up. So you've been playing a computer game for the past few days instead of saving us from Shadowseer?
Yiazmat: You've been fighting for a week?
Kunoichi: It was mostly hiding and planning for a few days.
Nene: You didn't answer my question *sharpens blade*
Yiazmat: Uhhh... SHADOWSEER! >:O

SS: *climbs out of rubble* Owwww. Who ssssslapped me?
Yiazmat: I'M SICK OF YOU TRESPASSING ON OUR PROPERTY. GET OUT! >:O

*Vanish + X-Zone's Shadowseer*

SS: That won't work~ *pop* What the~ *is in the Giza Plains surrounded by Giza Bunnies* How did that work? That doessssssn't make sssensse! Bunniesssss?

*20 bunnies look at him with interest and start approaching*

SS: What are you doing?
Giza Bunny: We need to keep our dark energy up to stay cute. You'll do just fine.
SS: ...Ssssstay away! Nooooo!

*Giza Bunnies use Smother*

*SS is buried under fluffy bunny tails*

Nene: *still looking at logs* Gruesome. KO'ed by Giza Bunnies. o_O
Kai: How did you do that? Last I checked, Vanish + X-Zone or Telega or Warp or whatever makes things disappear isn't something you could do in~
Yiazmat: I'M DRAGON JESUS I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT. >:O
Kai: K. ._.
Hell Wyrm: He's just butthurt that he sucks at playing SC2.
Yiazmat: RAWR! >:O
Nene: Before you fight, revive everyone and take a bath. You smell like death.
Yiazmat: YOU CAN'T TELL DRAGON JESUS WHAT TO DO! >:O
Nene: Do you know what time it is Kunoichi?
Kunoichi: Punishment tiem!
Yiazmat: Okay okay. Geez. >.>

*hours later*

Lindwyrm: TT_TT
Tiamat: It's okay. I'll give you the name of my renovator and they'll fix this place up.
Fafnir: Ugh. I'm sick of this. It's like getting stabbed in the chest with a giant knife repeatedly. >_<
Tiamat: Hon, you have been stabbed in the chest repeatedly. The knife is still in your back.
Fafnir: ...So it is. o_O
Behemoth King: I need a drink. D:
Fafnir: I'm surprised you're coherent. >.>
Behemoth King: Don't you know that I'm the silent type?
Tiamat: Unless you're busy humping anything that moves.
Behemoth King: That was a phase. I've learned to release my stress in short bursts now.
Tiamat: Why does that not sound right?
Fafnir: Because it's Barney, sweetie.

*outside*

Hell Wyrm: This is the sixth home we wrecked. Only one that leaves is Behemoth King.
BK: My place is a giant, invisible, misty city. In other words, I don't have a home.
Hell Wyrm: So where to?
Vossler: Aren't we missing a wyrm?
Yiazmat: There's six here. Who are we missing?
Kai: The one with the ring on his back. Begins with a "b".
Nene: It's Bahamut. Can't believe you guys could forget such a large being. -_-
Yiazmat: Well, most of us have been participating in some pretty mind-numbing tasks.
Hell Wyrm: Like losing to me in SC2.
Kai: Like trying to stay alive.
Tiamat: Like being dead for the past week.
Yiazmat: So where is he?
Nene: Let's check the logs.
Vossler: When did we get those? o_O
Hell Wyrm: I made them for SC2 but it seems to record everything we say since I'm so awesome at making things. :O

*log: Bahamut*

*in Balfonheim*

Bahamut: *in fayth/kid form* Lemme get a flask of anything you have that destroys brain cells quickly.
Bartender: ...That's a good joke, kid lol.
Bahamut: No seriously. Booze now.
Bartender: Are you 21? >.>
Bahamut: No but I did turn 20,671 last year. That good enough?
Bartender: ...
Bahamut: *sigh* Whatever. *throws a large bag of gil at him*
Bartender: Looks like you're 21 alright!

*end*

Hell Wyrm: OMG BOOZE.
Yiazmat: I haven't had a drink in ages.
Kunoichi: What the hell? We're in the Cerobi Steppe already? o_O

*the party is just outside Balfonheim*

Kai: Booze does powerful things. Like teleport you to the nearest bar if your a wyrm deity.
Hell Wyrm: Vossler, I'm going to borrow your face.
Vossler: What the? No!
Hell Wyrm: *changes into Vossler*
Vossler: Ohhh... okay. Wait... that seems like a huge invasion of privacy.
Yiazmat: *as Nene* I got a big butt hehe. Squeeze!
Nene: WTF.
Tiamat: Hey! We want booze! Morph us. >.>
Yiazmat: Ugh. -_-

*Lindwyrm = Kai*
*Tiamat = Kunoichi*
*Behemoth King and Fafnir = Some random bangaa*

*they leave*

Vossler: ...Are we just going to let them do that?
Kai: I just want know if they can actually get booze looking like that.
Nene: Too tired to care. When they get wasted, then the fun starts.
Kunoichi: Like Bevelle 2.0. >.>
Vossler: We should stop them then! D:
Kai: What fun would that be?
Nene: Shut up and go to sleep. You'll need it in about... 5 hours.
Vossler: ...ZzZzZz.

*TBC*

[Kai Effin Kuro]

Sorry.  I've been busy with tons of work at the end of my school year.  On the other hand, I'm a freshman (again).

*5 hours later*

Kai: We should have stopped them.
Nene: I hate to agree with you, but yes, we should have.
Vossler: Told you so.

*Mob of angry Balfonheim citizens armed with Fomalhaut Deluxes*

Kai: Did Sazh open up shop around here?
Vossler: *scan* Hmm...

[Fomalhaut Deluxe]
ATK: 97
MAG: 25
EVA: 15
DEF: 25
MDEF: 10
SPD: 35
Breaks damage limit
Fires twice

Kai: So we're dead.
Nene: Not quite.
Tiamat: *aeroga*
Villagers: *curaja* FIRE!

*88123, 91234, 97123, 96522*

Nene: We're dead.
Yiazmat: RAWR!
Kai: Oh wait!
Yiazmat: What?
Kai: I declare spell card rules!
Villager A: .... **** You.
Nene: Touhou tiem?
Kai: Oh yes!

[Kai declares a non-card]

Villagers: ?
Villager A: Run.  Or you'll get lazored.

*Thousands of tiny particles begin gathering... then fly in all directions*

Villagers: *dying*
Villager A: *grazing through bullets*
Kai: Oh ****.  Oh wait! 

[Spell Card - Profound Danmaku Bounded Field -Phantasm, Foam and Shadow-]

Nene: O_O

*dead bodies everywhere except Villager A*

Vossler: ...
Kunoichi: He's a Touhou playa.
Nene: Yep.
Kai: *summons ReimuB, and MarisaB(roken)*
Villager A: ...cheating sonuva.
Vossler: *scans Villager A*  Impressive.  123,915,289,012,893,015,543,712 health.
Marisa: Shame I can drain it all in about 3 minutes.  FIRE!  *tons of lasers fire*
Villager A: *fires a spray of butterflies* 
Reimu: Kai. Oh ****.
Kai: I recognize her now.

*Reimu and Marisa flee*

Kai: Goddamn - *dies instantly*
Villager A: Yuyuko Saigyoji.  Nice to meet you.  Unfortunately, you have unleashed havoc upon these people.  Youmu!

*Short girl with specter floating around her holding a Katana*

Youmu: Milady?
Yuyuko: Let's gettem

*TBC*

[VYAzelas]

...

I feel I need to make a post.

Busy as all get out right now and so is my partner in crime. Short hiatus I guess? Then again, the month of nothing pretty much say it all. >.>

Yiazmat: ZzZzZz... -_-