Author Topic: Ninja vs. Pirate, the college paper.  (Read 2188 times)


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Ninja vs. Pirate, the college paper.
« on: June 27, 2012, 07:37:50 AM »
This was a paper I did for one of my English papers in my college. It was s'posed to be a comparison paper with the topic being our choice, so I had some fun with it and made it entertaining. I actually had to do some research on some of that stuff so maybe you will learn stuff like I had. It's just silly and a bit random, as you will see.

Rs, hope you enjoy and anyone else who wanted to see this. :D

Ninjas Vs. Pirates

   Okay, so check it. There's this girl, right? She is trapped against this wall that is enormously tall. No, wait, ridiculously tall. Then this old man appears out of nowhere. Just, like, “BOOM!”. He stares at the girl with this real intense look and seems to judge her deeply. The girl is just staring and praying that she won't end up in trouble or something silly like that. So this old man scratches his tangled beard and peers at the girl and decides to ask, “Tell me, child, which would you prefer? A ninja or a pirate? The choice that you make will have its consequences.”
   This girl, you see, happens to be an expert on the knowledge of such subjects. She smirks and says to the aging man, “I once saw a ninja and a pirate fight, you know. I have never witnessed something, or anything really, like ever since then. To compare them and choose was quite the difficult task.”
   The old man is astounded. He raises a brow and seems to wordlessly ask for more. The girl nods and sits on this chair that happens to be nearby. She begins, “The ninja was dressed from head to toe in a single black suit as tight on him as if it were his own skin. He stood, when calm and mostly unseen of course, in a graceful and proud manner. There was an air of silent danger around. His eyes were that of        the weapons worn at his side; sharp, clean, and bold. In his right hand he held a small kunai, a small knife meant for throwing in short distances. In his left, he held a black egg; an egg filled with glass to blind an opponent. This ninja was always at the ready with every nerve and fiber of his body on the edge. Strapped to his back was a cunning katana. The sword would gleam even in the dimmest of light. Hidden within pockets, he carried blow darts, and throwing knives meant for longer distances called shuriken. On his shoulders rested his pair of nunchakus. Lastly, upon his hips he held small sais which resembled the shape of tiny pitchforks. To pick his teeth, I was never certain. His greatest weapons, though, were etched deep upon his face. Such weapons were known as wisdom and knowledge. A sense of of dreading fear passed over my eyes and a chill swept down my spin as I stared at this ninja.”
   The old man seemed almost impressed by the knowledge the girl had given him. He nodded and stroked his beard calmly. “Mm, I see.” He said. There was only a hint of boredom in his tone. “So then you prefer ninjas?”
   “I have not finished!” The girl shouts and stands from her chair. The old man jumps and stumbles back several steps. A bewildered expression is displayed on his face. “Let me tell you of the pirate I had seen at that same moment!” The girl quickly interrupts his shock. She calmly sits back in her chair. No, she now simply squats to fit the mood more accurately.  “ARGH!” She shouts with wholesome lungs. “Now I be describin' a hearty fellow.” Her voice became heavy and scratched. The grammar she now spoke with gave the old man a laugh.
   “The pirate stood rugged and large. He acted as if he owned and operated everything about him. His face was covered in grime and soot. He wore clothing of a beggar with fancy jackets and trinkets stolen from innocent and not so innocent victims.” She gives out a laugh not fitting a woman such as herself. “He wore pistols and muskets from his legs to his teeth. A hat almost swallowed his head just to keep his eyes safe from the harsh and blistering sun. A cocky grin was placed thickly on his chapping lips. His hair was long and unkempt. A stench of putrid and rotting body clung heavily to him. A cutlas, a sword, was held tightly in his grasp. A fierce and cold hearted look shot from his eyes and pierced  into whatever he might have gazed upon. In his own pockets he carried grenades and stink pots. The chemicals within would cause confusion and perhaps blindness. A drunken stance caused him to slightly sway even though he seemed ever steady and confident.”
   At some point, a bottle of rum had appeared in the girl's hand. A dark patch was over one of her eyes. Even the old man seemed confused as to how she had gained such accessories. She suddenly jumped up and quickly discarded the accessories. “And they fought!” She shouted valiantly. She raised a fist to the air in a glorious rush. The man fell back from his stool. Where he had gotten it, no one knows.
   As if from the air, the girl pulled a black handkerchief over her face. She spread her legs and slightly hunched her back and shoulders. She put her arms out and acted to hold small knives. “The ninja was swift and light as he ran. There was no fear in his look or hesitation in his eyes. His eyes were focused and narrowed on his prey. Why he fought with a pirate, only the two of them would know.” There was an an of excitement now. The girl seemed fascinated with the memory she was recalling. Even the old man leaned in a little closer.
   She continued, “I watched as the pirate stood firm. He held a musket in his hands and took aim. He gave out a mighty roar; his teeth stained and rotting.” She acted as if she too were holding the gun. “He fired once and dropped the weapon. He had no more use. The time it took to reload was something he could not risk. He would use a pistol and an ax now with a knife in his teeth. He stood reckless now and ready to blow away anything that came near. There was no grace in his movements.”
   “One after the other, the pirate would fire a bullet. The ninja had easily managed to dodge. He had taken careful notice of his surroundings and used them to the best of his advantage. The pirate simply managed to blow all obstacles away, uncaring if the damage and the chaos he caused. Where was I in all this? That is not important. The land was the ninja's home. He kept to it easily enough and knew how to use it. No movement was wasted. Every action made was taken into great consideration. He was witty and sly.”
   The girl laughed loudly and madly. “The fight was thrilling!” She exclaimed. “The ninja was skilled and smart. The pirate was hefty and strong. Both had a drive for battle, both had the look of certain death for the other. Neither would give easily. The two of them both had a thirst for wealth. They both would steal and deceive to get what they wanted. Neither were afraid so long as the day ended with a good helping of food. Perhaps in another life they could have been friends, but no! They were meant to fight that day. Who was the better? The quick ninja or the scruffy pirate? Such a battle has been asked and pondered upon by many. Who won, some may ask? Even you, old man, I am sure you wonder. Who was the better?” Her mad laughter had picked up once more.
   The old man stood now. He was beginning to wonder if he had been wise to ask her such a question in the first place. Yet, the girl went on. “I watched as they fought. I was thrilled with the skill and the blunder that was displayed.”
   She suddenly fell to the ground as if she were exhausted. When she was ready, she sat up quickly and nodded. “I do not know who won though.” She frowned. Her face creased in frustration. “The ninja threw a smoke bomb into the fight at the same exact moment that the pirate hurled a stink pot. When the smoke and dust cleared, they were gone and the fun was spoiled.” She sighed heavily before shrugging as if she had never cared. “Anyhow,” She said, “I decided right then and there who I liked better. I picked...” She waited for dramatic effect. By now the old man was simply bored. “THE PIRATE!”
   “Even though the ninja showed superior speed and more skill, I like how the pirate talks and his attitude. Although, I would never act like a pirate. Both of them have similar things and weapons. At the same time, they are completely different. Even the clothing was utterly different.” She said.
   The old man stared at the girl for several moments. His expression was of great confusion. He seemed to regret his question. “You are strange.” He finally said.
   The girl frowned and crossed her arms. “And my consequence?”
   The old man grinned and shrugged. “The consequence of your choice is simply...” Now he waited for dramatic effect. When the girl began to tap her foot impatiently, he went on. “You must deal with the choice of preferring pirates and never loving ninjas as much as someone else might.” 
   The girl was silent for several minutes. “That is crap.” She barked.